WWYD about DSD's constant nits.(39 Posts)
So heres the situation,
My DSD always comes to us on a Friday with nits. We treat her, and check her hair and she's always sent home nit free on the Sunday. To go through the whole process again. My DP has sent her mum messages saying she has nits, and all she says is "I know, shes been crawling for days."
Am I too be unreasonable in thinking she should be treating her, and at the risk of being flamed here I don't want nits in my home, or for my son to keep getting them from her (hasn't happened yet mind) Not the little girls fault but what can we do?
addictedtosugar it would be really nigh on impossible for a six year old to self comb imo
Poor wee scone
It is neglect if it's not being treated!
I don't have a 6 year old. Would she be capable of combing with a nitty gritty twice a week when not with you (assuming she wants rid also).
I assume it wouldn't be very efficient, but may be enough to reduce the infestation so you can do a really good job at the weekend?
Its really not tackling the issue, but may well be enough to reduce the levels if nits.
If this is a really stupid or impracticable, please ignore.
You are not sending dsd back nit free, you are sending her back after one day of treatment that is not the same thing.
Combing is more effective than chemical treatments so why should mum have to use them just to keep you happy,
Or are you expecting her to convince you that she's combing?
I know what will happen 2 day into term, loads of people will be moaning that suddenly their DCs are crawling with nits having been clear all holiday - not understanding that the lice will NOT have all suddenly leapt onto their sweet smelling DCs but will have been hatching the whole time over the hols. People neglect to check over the hols as their Dc are not mixing with so many kids. People need to be combing every few days as a preventative measure as even when they see no lice there may be eggs , or growing lice you missed last time cos they were so tiny. eg - a child gets one louse from a friend. It lays a headful of eggs over the next few days. the parents then see it and catch/kill it, have a quick look and think phew only one we are Ok. a week later kid is crawling with lice. even if that one original louse dies/falls off the head without the parents ever knowing it was there, it has still left behind lots of eggs, so again a quick look for live lice is no reassurance. You then only need to miss one egg to have the same thing all over again.
Long time lurker de-lurking...
No idea to how to get her mum to start any nit treatments, but thought I'd share a technique I used to use in my teens to get rid of headlice when I caught them from my younger cousins... Hair straightening, with v hot straighteners (like GHDs). Dunno exactly how hot they get, but I don't think even the nits (eggs) would survive being passed over by 200 odd degree straighteners.
My sis used to have a crazy amount of nits on the underneath of her hair, no treatments or combing got rid of them, but once she started straightening her hair (for vain teenage girl purposes, not headlice removal ) they went pretty quick.
Obviously this isn't a great idea for younger kids, but maybe older ones? Or adults that keep catching them from kids? Just thought I'd share in case it helps anyone out. The heat does damage hair, but the chemicals in headlice treatments aren't so nice either for hair or scalp.
I used to blast my scalp with my hair dryer on the hottest setting I could bear, but that's probably not the best treatment to use on anyone but yourself :P
Second that post trashcanjunkie. Tea tree oil also works well...but the lotions are definitely not a particularly effective treatment.
We have sent bottles of stuff home, combs, offered to buy enough to treat all of the children but she says we're being rude. But when we ask why we're the only ones treating it, she says she's got other kids not just DSD and why should she pay for it, there's no winning,
If this is what's happening then the blame clearly lies with the mother who is being lazy. And neglectful.
Fwiw untreated nits in dcs is classed as neglect. If the other family are saying I know, she's been crawling for days it might be an indication that she's not getting treated. Often a letter from ss will buck up the ideas a bit
scare them into doing their bit
Complain to the school formally if it is another child or group of children who aren't being treated. I appreciate the poster upthread who is doing battle with her 13 year old, but this is a different matter.
Combing must take place every third day for a period of two weeks. You must have several entirely nit free combing session after that time to be considered 'nit free'
The 'nitty gritty' with the long tignes and twirly bits work excellently at removing eggs and nits. You must use it correctly though, keeping it at a right angle to the scalp at all times.
Using lotions regularly is unadvisable, as it breeds resistance in nits. This has already happened.
The best preventative is to use essential oils mixed with a carrier oil. Rosemary and lavender are known to kill nits and prevent infestations.
Two very secure french plaits.
Good luck I'm sure you know most of this anyway. I'd feel very pissed off if I was in your shoes.
It doesn't work because they are only getting to use them at the weekend - it needs to be used more often. Given that the DD lives with her mum and her mum has acknowledged that she's been crawling with them for days then she's a lazy mare who should have her arse kicked for not taking better care of her DDs nit problem.
I found the only thing that works is loads of conditioner followed by combing using a nit comb every 2 days. It was a complete PITA but worth it. The lotions and potions didn't get rid of them.
Saucy why presume it doesn't work? Nothing works if 1 child out of for example 4 is treated. The point is that the other children in the household are not being treated so will reinfect the dsd.
Why would the mother want them to send her some of the stuff they use when it clearly doesn't work?
Saucyjack I think I understand you but suspect you have either misunderstood the op or have another axe to grind. If there is a big nit problem at school then the dsds mum should be combing her hair free of nits and eggs everyday. She's not doing it...... At all by the sound of it. Whoever has the child the bulk of the time must by default take the majority of the responsibility for keeping the child nit free else it will not work.
Saucy I think you may have missed the significance of the op mentioning that they had offered to the mum to pay for all the children to be treated in other words their dsd has other children in the home that she is mixing with on a day to day basis and that they are the source of the constant reinfection because the mum isn't treating any of them.
Op your dp may be right to speak to ss because if this is being ignored what other needs are as well.
I've had an ongoing battle with DD's hair for about 3 years now. Thankfully as she's getting older (9) she's not getting them as often as before, I think it's mainly because she's growing out of hugging her friends in class so much.
I do get pissed off when she comes home from her dad's with messages passed on that I should be doing her hair more often with lotion and some silly little 'cures' exMIL has come up with i.e full head of hairspray to prevent the nits sticking .
Putting lotion on her hair on a weekly basis is not good. DD has a dry, flaky scalp as a result. The advice I give is to just try and manage it as best as possible with regular coming and a repellent shampoo. Occasionally put lotion on if its particularly bad and of course inform the school so they can send notes out.
I remember my mum going through the same battle with me at that age. My brothers & SIL's are going through the same with my DN's. Friends moan about it too. They are all in different schools so it's very common.
It is not a sign of neglect.
You're either misunderstanding me, or I'm not explaining myself very well.
I'm not suggesting for a second that nit prevention should only be the problem of the OP's partner.
I just don't agree with them trying to blame solely onto the mother when it's most likely an ongoing problem at the child's school.
The mother may very well be thinking the same thing about the OP.
Maybe a buzz cut is the way forward? No hair, no problem.
@saucyjack I just don't agree. We have been doing this for years but if the op's dsd goes back to a house where her mum won't treat them and gets into bedclothes which have nits and eggs and uses hairbrushes with nits and eggs then they will never go! It's crazy to suggest that a parent with weekend only contact can eradicate them with no help from the other parent!
My DSD always comes to us on a Friday with nits. We treat her, and check her hair and she's always sent home nit free on the Sunday. To go through the whole process again.
It takes 7-10 days for the eggs to hatch
So if she's crawling with them by Friday, the chances are you/your DH aren't removing them all.
We deal with it, buy the stuff treat her weekly, and then when we get her back even when she hasn't been at school she's crawling with them again.
I simply don't believe this. If your SD had an isolated infestation, and you were treating it properly at the weekend, then you'd clear it up within two or three weeks.
If she's constantly crawling then I strongly suspect her entire class is.
Nits are an ongoing battle with my two girls. My ex and his partner tried to pass the buck to me solely on to me in much the same way that you are doing until I set him straight.
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