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To have used the disabled loo today :(

(336 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

peking Thu 02-Jan-14 19:57:58

An embarrassing moment.

Was in our public library when suddenly overcome with an urgent need to go (Crohn's - thought it was under control but I guess Christmas has messed things up).

There were two toilets - one disabled which also held the only nappy-changing facility there, and one toilet on its own. The single toilet was engaged so I dashed into the disabled. I took some time as I felt really shaky and couldn't stand up for a few minutes.

About halfway through I could hear a toddler crying on the other side and the father trying to placate him as he needed his nappy changed. The toddler probably had to wait about 5 mins.

When I finally got out the father shouted after me "you're out of order, you're not even disabled!"

How mortifying. I just had to ignore him but felt awful for the toddler. As many MN'ers have probably come across people taking up the disabled/nappy-changing facilities before, AIBU?

Suelford Thu 02-Jan-14 20:00:38

Of course YANBU. You used the empty toilet, the other one was engaged. confused

blackandwhiteandredallover Thu 02-Jan-14 20:00:56

YANBU, the dad was just plain rude. Yes it is frustrating when you have to wait for the baby change area, but that's just life with kids. Plus how does he know what disability or issues you might have.

DoYouLikeMyBaubles Thu 02-Jan-14 20:01:08

This is going to be interesting...

Bowlersarm Thu 02-Jan-14 20:01:38

I don't think you are unreasonable. Very bad mannered of him. Impatient git.

DoYouLikeMyBaubles Thu 02-Jan-14 20:02:08

But no I don't think you're unreasonable at all, because of having Crohns. It must be bloody awful, especially when you're out and about and really need to go

NinjaBunny Thu 02-Jan-14 20:02:27

What a wanker! Why is he shouting? It's not his toilet.

And he wasn't disabled either.

I took some time as I felt really shaky and couldn't stand up for a few minutes.

So lucky you were in the disabled loo with the emergency cord just in case you needed help then, isn't it?

some people have no compassion or common sense.


BellaVita Thu 02-Jan-14 20:03:32


DH suffered with ulcerative colitis and when he had to go he had to go.

Alisvolatpropiis Thu 02-Jan-14 20:03:33

Is Crohn's not a disability?

I don't think, having known someone with Crohn's, that you were unreasonable to use the disabled toilet.

The dad was very rude.

IwishIwasmoreorganised Thu 02-Jan-14 20:03:39

YANBU in my opinion. You needed to use the loo, you used the only vacant one. The fact that it is multipurpose is irrelevant.

Will watch with interest though.

offloadingthisshit Thu 02-Jan-14 20:03:42

I would imagine that disabled toilets are as much for people with your condition to use as a person who has mobility issues. You haven't committed the crime of the century. I mean, would the Dad really have wanted you to defecate in your pants if he had known you had Chrohns? I doubt it. People do like to think they've got the moral high ground about things like this without being in possession of all the facts.

CrohnicallySick Thu 02-Jan-14 20:03:46

Hi fellow Crohnie!

Crohn's is a disability, therefore YWNBU to have used the disabled toilet.

If it's a common problem, you might want to look into joining Crohn's and Colitis UK, their membership card is also a 'can't wait' card which explains that you have a medical condition with an urgent need to use the facilities. It has no legal standing, but it's 'officialness' might make some people more understanding.

SpikeyTree Thu 02-Jan-14 20:04:31

You have Crohn's disease, you are entitled to use a facility designed for people with disabilities.

17leftfeet Thu 02-Jan-14 20:04:57

I think crohns qualifies you to use the disabled loo -he was being an arse

firawla Thu 02-Jan-14 20:05:15

He was the one BU. It's not his place to have a go, how does he know what conditions or disabilities you have?? He needs to mind his own business - waiting for 5 min is not the end of the world. Yes, its slightly annoying but not a reason to shout at people!

OddBoots Thu 02-Jan-14 20:05:54

You were right to use it and the man was an ignorant fool, how dare he. I hope you're feeling better now.

starofbethlehemfishmummy Thu 02-Jan-14 20:06:00

Well I would say Crohns is sufficient reason to use a disabled loo.

HOMEQCRICH Thu 02-Jan-14 20:06:52

YABU You should have just shit yourself just in case a father happened to come along with a toddler who needed a nappy change!
Seething on your behalf op !

olidusUrsus Thu 02-Jan-14 20:07:08

YANBU! You have Crohns! He was a right dick, ignore him

PedlarsSpanner Thu 02-Jan-14 20:07:13

IIRC they are now accessible loos rather than 'disabled'

you have a condition that requires pretty much instant access to a loo, don't think on it a moment longer

the bloke has forgotten that not all disabilities are visible, worra twit

Suelford Thu 02-Jan-14 20:07:18

Perhaps you ran into the world's best doctor, who can run a full diagnosis with a single glance? Or maybe he was a stressed arsehole? Probably 50/50.

Coldleftoversforme Thu 02-Jan-14 20:07:42

op did you not see what happened last time some one used the disabled toilet that wasn't 'deemed' disabled and posted on MN?

Crohns is awful .

MsVestibule Thu 02-Jan-14 20:07:47

I see disabled loos as being suitable for people with disabilities, but not for their exclusive use, IYSWIM. So on that basis, YWNBU. It seem ridiculous to not use a vacant loo on the off chance that somebody in a wheelchair or a nappy changing parent might need it in the next three minutes.

peking Thu 02-Jan-14 20:08:11

Thanks everyone. I would have thought the fact I was in there so long might have been a clue that I felt unwell but I guess he was in a panic because of his DC.

Thanks CrohnicallySick - I have looked into the membership before, when it wasn't responding to meds a couple of years ago. Might have to check it out again!

everydayaschoolday Thu 02-Jan-14 20:08:27

YANBU. I have a child with Cerebral Palsy (currently still in nappies).

I've let a person with a non-visually obvious disability go before me when queuing for one of these toilets for DD2, as a toddler in a nappy can wait a few minutes, whereas it may be a bit more pressing for a person without toileting protection.

Not everyone's disability is visually apparent, and he was BVVVU to accuse you and making a judgement at a glance. He was stressed by a crying toddler but that is no excuse.

I'm not entirely sure what Crohn's disease is, but I know when people affected by it need to go, then they really need to go. Again, IMHO YANBU.

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