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To credit MN for the way I handled this rude woman at the shops?

(613 Posts)
Primafacie Thu 02-Jan-14 14:49:06

... When I felt a bit hurt, humiliated and angry at her comments?

I had an encounter this morning which up till now I thought only ever happened on Mumsnet smile

I was food shopping (M&S, not that i think it's relevant but so I am not accused of dripfeeding) with my DCs (aged 2 and almost 5). I always park their scooters by the store entrance (on the inside), which itself leads to the inside of a shopping mall, and is guarded by a staff member. We (and the store) are in a very safe, family friendly area.

As I was heading for the tills, DD nearly 5 asked if she could wait for me by the scooters. I said yes, as she is very sensible, I was only going to be a few minutes, and in my own risk assessment, this is not a risky situation.

Two minutes later, I emerge from the queue with my shopping and DS in tow. A woman (I am guessing around 75, again not really relevant but don't want to DF) is talking to the security guard by the door, pointing to DD who is waiting by the scooters. She sees me and says 'is this your child?' Conversation then goes like this:

Me: 'Yes she is'.
Her: 'I really don't think it is advisable to leave your child here, anyone could have kidnapped her'.
Me: Rrright. Well, I disagree,and I think she is perfectly safe here.
Her: but you are wrong. Anyone could have taken her. This is really dangerous.
Me: Well, that's your view. I happen to think we live in a good society and I don't see abductors and paedos everywhere.
Her: but you are wrong, you see. She could have come to harm.
Me: so you have said, several times. Look, I disagree with you, and I am not interested in your views. I didn't ask for your opinion. When I was her age my mum used to send me to the shops on my own. Now please leave me and my kids alone.
Her: Happy new year.
Me: and happy new year to you. Now please can you stop following me?

All this without raising my voice, or stopping smiling grin

All the while she was trying to get the poor security guy roped in to tell me off - to his credit, he never opened his mouth.

Still feeling a bit offended, but meh - hardly the end of the world.

So, thanks MN. Can I get my shiny badge now?

CustardoPaidforIDSsYFronts Thu 02-Jan-14 14:51:01

[badge awarded]

ShirtySocks Thu 02-Jan-14 14:53:06

<Polishes badge from custardo>

YouTheCat Thu 02-Jan-14 14:54:58

I want a badge. I lost my dd in Primark today.

She is 19 though. grin

Primafacie Thu 02-Jan-14 14:56:31

<pins badge on proudly>

SoonToBeSix Thu 02-Jan-14 14:58:06

I agree with her yabu. Maybe her tone was rude but a child of not even five however sensible would be no match for an abductor. Obviously it is extremely unlikely but why take the chance. As for living in a nice area that is totally irrelevant.

HoneyDragon Thu 02-Jan-14 14:59:25

Erm, no one is a match for a determined abducter.

Writerwannabe83 Thu 02-Jan-14 15:01:26

I would never leave a 5 year old alone anywhere - irregardless of how nice the area is perceived to be....

wonderstuff Thu 02-Jan-14 15:02:53

Well done.

SoonToBeSix I don't believe the op asked for an opinion on whether the older woman was right or not..

Wevet Thu 02-Jan-14 15:03:25

The delicious idea of being in the supermarket and having a child who is not trying to escape from the trolley and throw packages of toilet paper all over the aisle and/or throw himself into the path of moving cars outside the entrance is so captivating I can't think about anything else, sorry.

My toddler, too, one day will wait by his scooter....

LineRunner Thu 02-Jan-14 15:04:16

You handled it well.

mumblechum1 Thu 02-Jan-14 15:04:53

I think she probably meant well tbh.

HaroldTheGoat Thu 02-Jan-14 15:05:13

I just knew someone would be along to piss on your parade! grin

YouTheCat Thu 02-Jan-14 15:06:45

Having shopped in Marks and Spencer for over 30 years, I have yet to see a child abducted from there. Where exactly is the risk of a child standing with her scooter next to a security guard? confused

HaroldTheGoat Thu 02-Jan-14 15:07:26

That's exactly what I was thinking wevet.

There would be bastard carnage if I let DS loose in m&s. Totally jealous. grin

giraffesCantSledge Thu 02-Jan-14 15:07:34

YABU there might have been a fire in the shop wink

littleredsquirrel Thu 02-Jan-14 15:07:35


Contraryish Thu 02-Jan-14 15:07:53

While you handled the situation calmly, I think the old lady was merely concerned for your well-being. Leaving four year-olds unattended for a few minutes is definitely not the norm, even in nice, affluent, middle-class areas!

polythenespam Thu 02-Jan-14 15:08:25

I wouldn't leave a 5 year old hanging around on their own. The woman was doing the right thing alerting the security guard & what she said to you was reasonable.

Interesting that you feel "hurt, humiliated and angry" - perhaps you know that she had a point?

Onepostposy Thu 02-Jan-14 15:08:42

Your child and all that but I can't see where the woman was rude.

Onepostposy Thu 02-Jan-14 15:09:12

And I think 'ok, thanks, have a good new year' would have been a better way of managing it myself.

littleredsquirrel Thu 02-Jan-14 15:09:24

Oh god I'm going to have to retract the biscuit.

Seriously you want praise for sending a four year old outside M&S on her own?!

YouTheCat Thu 02-Jan-14 15:09:42

I knew this would turn into 'there's a paedo round every corner' bunfight.

giraffesCantSledge Thu 02-Jan-14 15:09:44

I let the kids I nanny for go down to the guide dog charity figures (a big dog and 2 puppies) and put my coppers in them while I go through the checkout. I clearly should be sacked!

giraffesCantSledge Thu 02-Jan-14 15:10:29

She didn't leave her outside! She was inside!

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