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To get upset by people's gender preferences for girls

(227 Posts)
roweeena Thu 02-Jan-14 04:34:53

So everyone seems to want girls. A couple I know we're very happy to find out they were having a girl 'as that's what they really wanted'. SIL has been congratulated in having girl and when she found out everyone was so excited.

Whereas I have two DS, DS2 is 12 weeks and I'm possibly a bit hormonal and over sensitive but people have actually asked me if I'm disappointed, when I'm going to try again for a girl and have told me that girls stay closer to their mums whereas boys you have to deal with DIL.

Why are boys seen as second rate and why do people seem to be disappointed I have two DS. I love them so much and can't wait to see what type of men they grow into.

I'm just getting annoyed with other people responses

Silentelf Sat 04-Jan-14 08:30:37

This thread really surprises me! I have two boys and feel like I am the super lucky and massively proud one! I thought people were probably envious of me. When my first was born I never admitted I really wanted a boy, of course what I wanted was a healthy baby if either sex but I was extra delighted when he turned out to be a boy. Then the pressure was off for baby 2- I really didn't have a gender preference and its great having 2 into the same things and wearing the same stuff

JugglingIntoANewYear Sat 04-Jan-14 08:10:32

Aww, but my girl is lovely too - though I can quite see why you might be a bit defensive of your lovely boys woolly given the annoying line of questioning.

The best thing about having one of each is you can see they are both equally great, and equally challenging - and each is so much their own person and so much more than any gendered stereotype.

woollybobs Fri 03-Jan-14 16:45:56

Well I always wanted boys. I have 2ds and people always ask am I going to try for a little girl!!! My answer is always if I could guarantee another boy I would have a third but as I can't I will stick with my 2 lovely boys

MyBaby1day Fri 03-Jan-14 15:05:53

It does definitely seem that way but not me, my dream is to have one boy!! smile

peking Fri 03-Jan-14 00:01:05

Sexism was rife in sales even just 10 years ago...not sure what it's like now, but then women in our company were judged by the way they looked, not on their sales patter. Men got away with so much more just because they had "balls". Even those who hadn't!

SuedeEffectPochette Thu 02-Jan-14 23:48:30

Boys mess up your house. Girls mess up your head.

JugglingIntoANewYear Thu 02-Jan-14 23:47:06

That's true blueshoes - the world of work still seems much tougher on girls/women - such a shock after the equality/favouritism of school and college

blueshoes Thu 02-Jan-14 23:43:12

In the UK, it appears girls are the preferred sex from birth until they start work then it is boys all the way. OP's sons will have the last laugh.

i honestly haven't seen this. haven't had negative comments about having sons either. in fact, is there even much difference when they're tiny? the main one is getting piss in your face when doing a nappy change thanks to penises.

HaroldTheGoat Thu 02-Jan-14 23:23:06

I discovered matching pajamas at Christmas, that was very satisfying.

Eachpeachpearwherestheplum Thu 02-Jan-14 23:20:19

I was out today with my beautiful boys in matching coats and got so many smiles and ahhhhs. They are amazing and great fun. I have to agree though that the first few years have been full of negative boy comments and all from people with girls only. I find it so sad for boys, it's so rude, silly and hurtful. Boys have a tough time in society today.

Ledkr Thu 02-Jan-14 23:09:58

I had three boys and really wanted a daughter eventually.
People were horrible to me about my boys too and I felt very defensive for them.
After a 12 yr age gap I wanted another BABY but obviously hoped for a girl.
I did have one and was delighted.
However she is now 11, and a cheeky, sarcastic bundle of self-centredness.
I prefer my lads grin
What I'm trying to say is that it's not always the fantasy that people imagine having the other sex child, it's still hard work and pretty thankless at times.
I know people with all girls who get equal amounts of silly comments about not having sons.
People are stupid.

irrelevant, though.

i think there are more 'men who i weirdly find attractive' conversations between women than the same type of discussion between men.

HaroldTheGoat Thu 02-Jan-14 23:06:20

She could have a granddaughter like me, I was worse than any boy I knew. I had a pot of pet maggots at one point. I would have broken her heart!

When I was pg with DS2 she was gutted but tried to me nice by saying oh well, at least when your out it's DP that will have to take them to the toilet.

you're right notthefirst. men who are not stereotypically good-looking don't seem to be scrutinised (don't know if that's the right word in this context, rather tired) as much as women who aren't, as far as celebrities go anyway.

pinkandlilacspring Thu 02-Jan-14 23:05:58

I really would struggle to describe it, I think it was more particular to having a preschool/primary aged DS. Adolescence and beyond I think I'd be fine with but I felt like I NEEDED a baby girl.

I wish I could make more sense sad

peking Thu 02-Jan-14 23:04:31

Maybe she thinks girls are "cleaner" if she doesn't like dirty nappies? grin

My MIL certainly is under the impression that they are... so glad she never comes round to see my slovenly housekeeping

notthefirstagainstthewall Thu 02-Jan-14 23:03:05

I was terrified about having a girl.

Boys are easier to raise as children.Puberty is easier to discuss pre teen. Clothes easier, hair removal easier (you can keep it without a whole discussion on gender issues), appearance easier (a fat boy needs more sport, a fat girl has let her self down). The list goes on.

God forbid a "non conventional " looking girl vs a boy. And with my genes the poor child doesn't have a hope.

peking Thu 02-Jan-14 23:03:01

After the 1st boy, my cousin really REALLY wanted a girl. They ended up having 2 more boys before they "finally" got their DD.

They explained it as wanting a complete family, with both genders, but I secretly felt a little sorry for the middle two boys while there was so much fuss over the girl.

HaroldTheGoat Thu 02-Jan-14 23:02:17

No my MIL would babysit for no one.

She barked at me on my last visit DIRTY NAPPY MUMMY, WE DONT DO DIRTY NAPPIES.

It would have irritated me beyond belief if I had had the holy grail granddaughter and she was suddenly all interested though do maybe it all panned out for the best!

We should introduce them. grin

i haven't really come across a general preference. a lot of assuming people are disappointed and will keep trying if they have more than 1 boy/girl. if i ever intended to have another, it genuinely would not matter. i have both and feel blessed for it, but i would anyway, boys OR girls. they're goblins, as it happens, which makes it easier.

HaroldTheGoat Thu 02-Jan-14 23:00:19

I can't put my finger on it either. I did want a girl. Nothing to do with spa days and shopping and pink or any of that - why would a girl automatically want to do that anyway?

I was a filthy little tomboy myself always making mud pies.

peking Thu 02-Jan-14 22:58:49

My MIL has "adopted" her neighbour's daughter and absolutely sobbed when she went on holiday abroad with her parents for the summer holiday, so she couldn't babysit for a while.

Is it the same one? grin

peking Thu 02-Jan-14 22:57:30

Could you describe it, pinkandlilacspring? I can't really describe my previous hankering for a boy beyond thinking in a really sexist manner, I know that he'd be more likely to want to play football and do my kind of activities than a girl would. But that's ridiculous now I have's fascinating to see how they're turning out, regardless of gender.

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