To think that there's something fishy going on here?(81 Posts)
Perhaps when you get the first payment you could query it with your bank and ask them for the name of the bank and account it is transferred from, then query it with his bank as you are not expecting the payment?
What eu country is it? If it's Holland they'll be caught anyway. My father has poa for my uncle and manages his money, uncle is incapacitated and in a home. My father gets frequent calls and letters from the authorities querying expenditure on my uncle's accounts... They threatened to remove my dad's poa because they were suspicious of a holiday and a computer paid for with uncle's money, both legitimate expenses totally for my uncle's benefit but the high values had triggered alerts and the authorities told my father he shouldn't be spending so much
I wouldn't get involved, you found out through illegal means and they'll probably be caught anyway
I think you need to do something, but if your name is no longer on the account you shouldn't be accessing it, you could get yourself into trouble.
I know that my dobbing them in would be basically motivated by the fact that I can't bear the lot of them and would like to see them suffer in some way.
This makes me think that I should possibly just stay quiet.
I understand that ^^
But really it should be motivated by the fact an elderly gentleman may be having his money stolen.
I don't think you should keep quiet at all.
Won't you see when the payment comes in that it is from the uncle's account?
Have you a way of contacting the authorities in that country - giving a tip off without your ex and his family finding out it was you?
The sound vile.
well, either he loses out and doesnt ever know it or her dd loses out and knows it full well
Report to Uncle's care home, that's fucking outrageous and none of them should get away with it. Poor man. At the very least, if they have power of attorney over his money it needs to be removed and given to an objective/independent carer instead.
I'm wondering if you can report anonymously - to let the authorities know that there is something fishy going on.
Do you speak German?
Attorneys power to make gifts to a third party under an EPA are very limited and unlikely to cover this arrangement. I would suggest reporting it to the Office of the Public Guardian as a first step. They will investigate and report to the police if necessary. Can't do a link as on phone but suggest you google their website.
I can ask DH - he worked in a bank in Germany for years, so might know if there is something you could do.
What possible reason do you have to look at your exH's account? This is totally out of order. The fact that you historically have the passwords does not give you the right to continue to use them. The fact that it used to be a jont account is completely irrelevant.
Your highly questionable behaviour has now left you in a very difficult position. You may get yourself into trouble admitting how you know this but the right thing to do is act to protect this poor man. Perhaps you can anonymously tip of the police or nursing home or an elderly persons charity.
And stop checking his account, it's positively stalkerish.
How bloody ironic that being vigilant for her child, and ending up witnessing something that benefits a vulnerable elderly person, is supposedly abusive stalking!
KingRollo, "Evil flourishes when good men do nothing," so you do have a responsibility to do something. However, maybe the "stalking" accusers have a tiny point, in that Germany has a very sensitive history: on the one hand more could have been done to resist crimes against the vulnerable (including children and the sick/elderly), but there's also the Stasi past to be considered, when people were spied on by their own families and neighbours.
Maybe talk to your lawyer, frankly, about the situation, and see what s/he recommends. Maybe there's a part of the divirce process - financial disclosure - which could allow you to "see" the bank account. Or perhaps your ex's negligence in changing passwords leaves you clear, particularly as you have never transferred money which didn't belong to you... unlike your exMIL seems to have done. That is utterly disgusting.
I know nothing about Germany, and banking. BUT, when you are old, some people regard it as "tax planning" to let their elderly relatives pay for stuff for their children, grand children, as this is "allowed" without tax implications. They would want to reduce uncles inheritance by making small inconspicuous payments from relative...
I handle my mums accounts, but I keep every receipt and log them, in case I have to account to the authorities in future. I would never buy gifts for my children from her, she is not in a fit state to think of gifts for anybody, so it is well fishy that they do this ...
Checking her H's account has absolutely nothing to do with being vigilant for her child. She does not need to see how he is getting the money, or what is coming in and out of his account. She will see the money when it hits her account and that's all she needs to know.
She was not monitoring his account because she suspected financial abuse of an elderly relative. I am not sure why she was doing it, but I am certain she has no right to do it. The information she came across does not justify her actions.
I didn't call it abusive but it is stalkerish.
I think you should keep out of it. You have absolutely no right to this information. Besides, can any good can come of reporting it? Is someone's well being at stake?
Is someone's well being at stake?
It's unlikely that the exMIL has the right to help herself to this money for this particular purpose. Even if the old man is rich enough to pay for his care home for years, is it still "right" to help oneself to "money he won't miss"?
I might start by asking your lawyer whether in principle you can access the former joint account. If you tell her you've already been doing it, she might have to disclose this.
There seem to be a few rather elastic consciences on the thread recently. If any of you saw someone put their hand in someone else's pocket or bag while they were distracted, remove something, and walk off with it, would you stay quiet or would you tell a policeman?
I don't think you should get involved...it has potential negative consequences for yourself and your DC. You shouldn't really be looking at his bank info either.
In the UK, this would be quite clear cut. When someone has lost their mental capacity to take a particular decision (this assessment normally involves GP/solicitor) then the appointed Attorneys (or social worker if there are none) must act for them in their BEST INTERESTS. No-one elses. If you call the Office of the Public Guardian, the first option on their helpline is 'report abuse'.
If the local authority is later asked to help pay for residential care, they have the power to ask where the person's money has gone, going back years (deprivation of capital). Gifts are subject to tight scrutiny.
I have no idea what the rules would be in Germany, but imagine things would be similar.
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