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About friend and tickets?

(46 Posts)
ViviPru Sun 29-Dec-13 22:09:50

I managed (after hours of frantic page refreshing) to get some tickets to a local date of a world tour of an artist I'm mad about. The tickets sold out in a morning and I know of lots of acquaintances who tried and failed to get tickets.

One of my best friends is also a massive fan. We both tried and failed to get tickets for the previous tour and have often chatted about how we'd do anything to see this artist and had a very informal agreement that if one of us ever had the chance to see them, we'd go with eachother.

Neither of us knew about these particular tour dates, I found out the morning the tickets went on sale and didn't bother to contact friend first as she often can't take personal calls/messages while at work, plus I was totally consumed with monitoring the screens on laptop/IPad/iphone.

I thought I may as well get 4 tickets, one each for DH and I, and two more, thinking I would give friend 1st refusal on the extra tickets, but confident I could easily find many others who'd want them if for whatever reason she didn't.

So once I'd paid for tickets, I waited till I knew she would be on lunch break and messaged her the news. I told her that either one or two tickets were hers if she wanted them, the price and not to worry if for whatever reason she couldn't come, ie not to feel obliged. She was really excited and said it's likely she'd have a ticket for herself, but she'd need to check finances and whether DH wanted the 2nd ticket, and get back to me.

So that was 2 weeks ago and she's not mentioned it since. I put it down to Christmas busy, and possibly her worrying that if she gave me a definite yes she'd feel she'd have to give me the cash (out of her own inherent politeness rather than any demand from me) and she might be feeling skint in the run up to Xmas. We had plans to see them after Xmas so I thought maybe she was waiting till then to let me know, but it wasn't mentioned when we saw them and I didn't bring it up as I didn't want to make her feel awkward in company for whatever reason.

I never gave her a timeframe to confirm, partially because I didn't give it much thought, I guess I assumed she'd really want to go so it wouldn't take weeks of consideration, and also because it's money from my savings, I'm not particularly out of pocket as I could easily sell the tickets to someone else, I also have cancellation insurance so just not an issue (I didn't tell her any of that though, and as far as she's aware we're not especially flush atm)

I know I just need to ask her straight if she wants the tickets or not, and I plan to. Just in the meantime I guess I'm just a bit surprised and put out she's left me hanging like this. Also, our shared love of this artist has become quite a defining feature of of our friendship over the years and I always thought that if we had the chance to eventually see them, we'd spend the entire lead up getting excited and buzzing about it. As I said, there's loads of others I know would love to come, (and a few have already checked to see if my tickets are spoken for when they found out I had 4) but I know I'd have the most fun there with her. I imagine she knows I feel that way.

If I'm honest, I'm kind of stalling pressing her for an answer as if it's a no, I'll be disappointed. That said, I've been careful not to make her feel obliged and if she does say no I will be totally breezy really-disappointed-but-completely-understand. There's every chance they've decided they can't afford the tickets/time or whatever, which is completely fine, but I also think the onus is on her to let me know rather than me have to chase her. I also LOATHE feeling like I'm putting pressure on people.

Is she BU for not confirming either way yet, or am I for not being more direct?

NB I fully accept this is potentially a total non-issue and could be resolved with a simple text/call, but I'm a bit bored and this has genuinely been playing on my mind over the holidays. Curious to know how you'd all feel in this situation and how you'd handle it. If you managed to read all that and are still with me, you deserve a bloody ticket yourself.

OldBagWantsNewBag Mon 06-Jan-14 17:31:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZillionChocolate Mon 06-Jan-14 07:39:03

ViviPru you should sign up for tour date alerts on They'll warn you in advance of when gigs are announced and going on sale.

Glad you've managed to sort this out.

anonacfr Sun 05-Jan-14 23:29:27

So who is it????

Plateofcrumbs Sun 05-Jan-14 18:51:46

Aww bless them they sound lovely, I bet she's really disappointed not to feel able to come.

ViviPru Sun 05-Jan-14 18:46:13

Plate that did cross my mind, I know they have quite a few financial pressures currently (nothing worrying, just they're doing up their house and are undertaking extended PT higher education).

I imagine her DH (who is one of my oldest friends) would probably have been generous and encouraged her to go, even though he himself would think it wasn't a priority and would prefer to spend the money elsewhere. In turn, she being rather selfless would have known how he felt and would decline because she felt bad at him making the sacrifice.

Anyway, all's well that ends well, just asked another friend who replied instantly that her and her DW would love to come and they're both an absolute riot, Which makes up in some part for the genuine disappointment I feel about not sharing the experience with original friend. Ho hum.

Seems my friend isn't irreplaceable after all wink

funkybuddah Sun 05-Jan-14 15:19:50

So you've got two tickets left, to the left. Those 2 tickets in the box to the left? ;)

Plateofcrumbs Sun 05-Jan-14 15:19:22

If she really is a massive fan it sounds like they have money worries at the moment. Maybe she spent Xmas arguing with DH about the cost? Don't give her a hard time.

volvocowgirl Sun 05-Jan-14 15:07:31

Sorry, the last few messages didn't load on my phone until AFTER I'd posted. Bugger, sorry for you but at least (from the sound of it) it's someone you'll be able to resell easily.

volvocowgirl Sun 05-Jan-14 15:06:24

Just ask text her now! It's probably just slipped her mind because of Christmas, etc.

TheHeadlessLadyofCannock Sun 05-Jan-14 15:05:46

Ah well. Just sell them online at a massively inflated price.

And who is it? grin

shoom Sun 05-Jan-14 15:02:58

I hope you have another friend who wants the tickets. Pretty poor to leave you hanging and not let you know she might not be able to afford it when you first told her.

ViviPru Sun 05-Jan-14 15:01:27

I know. My own fault I suppose for not being more proactive....

GlitzAndGiggles Sun 05-Jan-14 14:59:50

Ditch the bitch! Only joking but how irritating after waiting so long!

ViviPru Sun 05-Jan-14 14:46:19


After it not being brought up on numerous social occasions over the holidays, I sent a breezy text asking is she's decided what she wants to do about the tickets, no worries if she's decided she doesn't want, and she replied very regretfully saying that with other commitments she couldn't justify the cost.

Bit annoying, eh?!

anonacfr Mon 30-Dec-13 14:01:38

I really want to know who it is now.


ViviPru Mon 30-Dec-13 00:16:41

Right. Thanks AIBU. You've given me the impetus to take the bull by the horns. (Which was the whole point of this)

Caitlin17 Mon 30-Dec-13 00:14:08

Don't leave it too long in case you have to resell. I've never bothered taking cancellation insurance but I'd be surprised if it covered friend faffing around and changing her mind.

OldBagWantsNewBag Mon 30-Dec-13 00:07:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ViviPru Mon 30-Dec-13 00:06:44

grin @ Gladvent

Gladvent Mon 30-Dec-13 00:03:03

Sounds like she can't afford it and she is thinking uh-uh-oh I'll have to say no or go without DP and he'll dump me and I'll be a single lady.

FannyFifer Sun 29-Dec-13 23:57:25

Just text & say, do you want those tickets, could you let me know ASAP as credit card bill in & I have quite a few folk interested in them.

Wandawingsthe2nd Sun 29-Dec-13 23:56:50

Going by what you said about salary it's definitely Beyoncé. ;) REMEMBER ME IF YOU NEED TO! !

ViviPru Sun 29-Dec-13 23:46:45

Old Bag, I was thinking I might bring it up in person but we were in company and I didn't manage to get a moment alone with her - I was conscious that there could be myriad reasons she might be stalling that she might not feel comfortable discussing in front of the others...

Thanks for acknowledging it is odd, I recognise it's no big deal in the scheme of things, and it's probably easily remedied, but still it is odd.

OldBagWantsNewBag Sun 29-Dec-13 23:41:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

anonacfr Sun 29-Dec-13 23:40:30

So who is it?

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