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To wish the housing association would evict my NDN. Bit of a desperate plea for help, sorry it's long.

(21 Posts)
babybearsmummy Fri 27-Dec-13 15:47:15

I'm having lots of trouble with my neighbour at the moment. She gets drunk every night and from 7.30pm until the early hours of the morning, she slams internal and external doors, fights with her boyfriend (if he's not already locked up for the night) throws things against the walls and floor, smashes cups, plates etc, shouts, screams, the list goes on.

On the nights her boyfriend is over and they are knocking 10 bells out of each other, I end up calling the police and during the nights she is alone smashing around in the house, I tend to have to call them every other night. I have been told by them to call them if she is making excessive noise after a certain time or if she sounds as if she is very drunk/ fighting etc especially as I have an 18mth old who is disturbed every night due to next door's behaviour and noise.

I also have a case open with our housing association and have to call them whenever we've had a rough night or day listening to all the commotion. I'm currently having to call them every day.

I'm sick to the back teeth of having a grouchy, tired toddler who's not getting any sleep, feeling completely unsafe knowing she could come round at any moment to have a go about me calling the police. I hate the noise. I hate crying infront of police officers at 4am because I'm shattered and exhausted and have to give statements about what I've heard. I hate living next door to all this, but we can't afford to move.

The housing association are sending round an anti social behaviour officer to talk to her, but I have a feeling it won't do a huge lot of good as the police and social services (her children have been removed from her care) have both failed to curb her drinking and violent behaviour. They have told me that they are unlikely to evict her unless she defaults on her rent, which I think her mum pays, so it's unlikely that will happen.

Please does anyone have any advice for me regarding this and trying to get it stopped?! What are my rights? I'm just stuck in a total rut of feeling crap living here and being told by police and housing officers that there's only so much that can be done. Any advice or help would be really appreciated. Thank you for reading x

Mia4 Fri 27-Dec-13 15:50:45

Do you call 101 or 999 in the evening OP?

Have you put in a formal written complaint? Kept a diary? Written to your MP to complain?

babybearsmummy Fri 27-Dec-13 15:56:40

I call 101 Mia4

I make phone calls and the housing association log the incidents and give me reference numbers, as with the police.

I have also got a log of everything that happens.

How would I find out where to send letter to my MP? Thank you

babybearsmummy Fri 27-Dec-13 16:03:51

My local MP is David Cameron please don't hiss and spit!

Mia4 Fri 27-Dec-13 16:04:00

Call 999 instead, if it's that bad and there's domestic violence that's ongoing-from one of both- then call 999. They take things a lot more seriously then 101. 101 is good but 999 so much better, they also will push things along more.

My friends called safer neighbourhoods, the HA, council and 101 for a year with everyone saying how 'little' they could do. One night after almost having a breakdown they called 999, told them everything, they came and heard firsthand then arrested the man (friends made it clear that if police were seen then they stopped their harassment and their violence and screaming at each other so the police parked around the corner and walked up). He was cautioned and when my friends made it clear how long it had been going on for, they arranged to have him evicted. It really sped things up because the others were too busy procrastinating and not wanting to take responsibility.

Switch to emailing as well as calls, keep a written record with the HA people you are talking to.

To find your MP:

Send an email to him, always email never just call and then follow it up with a tweet or fb if possible if no response in a good fashion.

Take a look at this site for good advice too:

These shitty antisocial neighbours really piss me off, they should build flats for them and shove them all together to annoy each other.

oldgrandmama Fri 27-Dec-13 16:04:00

Find out about contacting your MP here:

I am so sorry you're existing in such awful circumstances - it sounds absolutely unbearable. I'm amazed the housing association won't do anything - you are entitled to a decent life without putting up with that sort of noise and disturbance all the time.

Mia4 Fri 27-Dec-13 16:05:16

lol, i hate spitting smile

Mia4 Fri 27-Dec-13 16:10:30

I feel for you OP, I really do, sounds awful.

One tip, use DES when talking to people or emailing. Describe, express and stress (?) not sure of the last one but you describe the situation then relate it to how you feel right now (try to be more factual, don't embellish). Use phrases like 'poor quality of life', 'unable to enjoy being in my own home', 'stressed and unable to relax' and 'constantly calling the police in the early hours of the morning and feeling sleep deprived', 'terrible behaviour for a child to hear and see.'

If you are stressed, sleep deprived or your child is showing signs of it due to this then also visit your GP to have it documented- it only adds to pushing this along.

When I say 'stress' I mean stressing to them the importance of goo communication, asking for an action plan and target dates.

babybearsmummy Fri 27-Dec-13 16:13:48

Thank you both so very much. I shall get on with the emails once my little girl is down to sleep.

The housing association sound very sincere on the phone saying how they feel sorry for us etc etc, but when it comes to the nitty gritty they just will not do anything! Fingers crossed I can sort it all myself. I hate the idea of making someone homeless, but I can't take another day.

Mia4 Fri 27-Dec-13 16:18:53

If you ever want to talk about it OP, or just rant or get upset then please PM me. I had to sit through my friends going through hell, I wanted to kill their neighbours and cheered when I saw them evicted. If I can help, even just as someone to commiserate with then please feel free.

They care, but not enough to do anything else about ti and as the saying goes-anything before but is bullshit. They don't care enough. So long as they can sweep it under the carpet they will.

You won't make her homeless, she'll be moved somewhere else. It might be a push or even a condition for her to go into rehab which would be best for her. Your right to a good quality of life trumps their right to be shitty people.

babybearsmummy Fri 27-Dec-13 16:23:49

Thank you Mia4 you've been a fantastic help. I may PM you with my email when I have it all written if you'd mind proof reading it, I'm sure you'll be able to tell me if I'm being emotive enough with it.

Just finding it very difficult at the moment knowing that the H.A. are only concerned about whether or not they're receiving rent from her and not the impact she's having on others.

HeeBeeGeebies Fri 27-Dec-13 16:27:30

I feel for you op. I don't have any more advice to add apart from keeping up with complaints, police, HA etc.. It sounds awful, I spent my early years on a HA estate in the area you are in and I know my mum hated it too and couldn't wait to leave.

Spaulding Fri 27-Dec-13 16:30:13

I feel for you OP. The previous tenant above us would get drunk, take drugs (we found drug paraphernalia in our garden and it was directly below her window), have men over who she argued with (one threatened to punch her), and she would play music from 8pm until gone 6am. Really loud. Her bedroom was directly above DS's bedroom and he would often wake up because of her noise. For over a year we complained to the council, the HA, to the neighbour herself who would always apologise and blame her friends for the noise yet it would carry on the next night. We logged two diaries with the council. They sent her a letter about the noise and threatened eviction if it carried on. It carried on. Someone from the council said they'd come round and install a recording device so they could get evidence of the noise. It never happened. We then began a diary with the HA, but soon after found out she had been granted an exchange. She's been gone for about 3 months now and it's been bloody brilliant.

I know this doesn't sound very reassuring OP. Maybe your HA and council will be more helpful than mine. But be prepared to be constantly filling in diaries and crying at 3am!

HA can apply to the court to demote their tenancy from assured to a less secure tenancy. I believe the order lasts for a year and you are much easier to evict when you are on a demoted tenancy. I would ask the HA if they have taken steps to demote her tenancy.


There are things they can do but I wonder if you are easier to deal with than your difficult neighbour so the HA have been dragging their feet.

babybearsmummy Fri 27-Dec-13 16:46:44

Thank you for sharing your experiences. We've got to the point that my O.H and I have been talking about trying to get a transfer to try to get away from it, but 1) we can't afford to, 2) the waiting list would be HUGE and 3) this is ours and our daughter's HOME and it'd break my heart to have to leave.

My other half did ask her if she thought she'd be moving when her children we taken away (she was complaining about having to pay bedroom tax) but she was adamant she'd be getting her children back I don't think so so she has stayed put and gotten worse.

Chazs I probably am more easy to deal with than her, so if anyone has any suggestions as to how I could become unbearable, that'd be fab! grin

Thank you all again, maybe we'll get that glimmer of home soon, PITA that it's happening this time of year and we can't always get through to the H.A.

MammaTJ Fri 27-Dec-13 16:56:54

I know it is tough, but this is the kind of battle that can be won.

I had a batshit crazy neighbour who threatened to throw a brick through my window and make sure it hit my children (that is leaving out a lot of swear words), among many, many other things.

She eventually got moved to another house, which she set fire to (as she had the one next door a few times) and burnt down. She was thrown out.

It took a lot of time, making sure I did nothing that she could really complain about, and persistance.

StrawberryTot Fri 27-Dec-13 17:16:19

I completely and utterly understand what you are going through. I had neighbours from hell last year and it took 7 months to get rid. I would advise you to follow all the tips and advise given on this thread and remember to document everything, even to the point stating the language used. Sadly it's not a quick process, i hope you get it sorted.

I would contact your MP and call 999 if they kick off really badly next door.

Ask your HA for their behaviour policy and then go through it line by line and ask the HA about every aspect of the NDN behaviour that breaches the policy. Ask for an action plan from the HA to allow you quiet enjoyment of your home as allowed by your tenancy. Go to your GP, if you are suffering stress and anxiety or if you feel that your DD's health is suffering.

Keep hassling and then hassle some more.

unlucky83 Fri 27-Dec-13 17:29:51

After having lived next door to a neighbour from hell for 10 yrs (not noise but just constant harassment, police involved etc etc) If you don't have evidence that something is really going to be done and they are going to be evicted, you need to do everything in your power to get out of there -as soon as possible - don't try and fight it and even if it means you live somewhere slightly less nice etc...
We were both privately owned houses so couldn't get eg a HA involved. My NFH kept saying he was looking to move for various reasons. So I held on and put up with the harassment - literally made my life hell. Me finally agreeing to the police to speak to him actually made it worse sad. They would speak to him and he would behave for a few months and then start again.
He died suddenly a year ago...which made me really appreciate just how much stress and tension etc I had been living under all those years - wasted years... literally I was frightened to hang my washing out in my garden, if I was going out or coming home I would be worried he would be around at least 20 mins before...a really terrible way to live.
I think what describes the effect on me best - he used to go outside his front door to smoke. He had a horrible cough anyway BUT as soon as he heard my door open (he couldn't see it) he would start this cough, really loud and spit etc ...basically a 'don't forget I'm here'. I thought I was being paranoid (you get that way) but I actually did a 'test' and left a tape recorder outside a couple of times -without fail the odd cough, as soon as door was opened straight away almost continuous loud cough and spitting, close door it stopped.
So he's been dead over a year and the other day I was tidying up the front garden (something I only did when he was alive if I knew he was out and even then I was completely on edge). I was relaxed, in a world of my own, enjoying myself and someone on the street coughed. Instantly I froze, my heart sunk, I was shaking and felt sick...even telling myself it was fine it couldn't be him it took me a good 20 mins to calm down - and I was on edge until I'd finished.
Don't get yourself in that situation - really do everything you can to look after yourself and get away ...I really wish I'd moved years ago instead of hoping it was going to change /get better...
(Ironically we bought a new house -needing refurbishment - a couple of months before he died when I finally realised life is just too short to live like that. It still isn't ready, have lost motivation as now I can be happy where I am)

ShinyBlackNose Fri 27-Dec-13 18:25:48

Just wanted to say that the police who respond to 101 are the same ones who respond to 999. There's only one police service. When you call either number the complaint /allegation you make will be assessed (probably by a civilian call handler) and then sent to the local station. If it's not an emergency, ie someone's life or limb isn't in danger, a crime isn't being committed at that moment (and neither noise or destroying your own possessions in your own home are) you won't get an immediate response even if you have called 999.

I just don't want you to think 999 is a magic number that will give you a better outcome than 101.

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