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Aibu to wonder if alcohol plays a part in some responses on the AIBU board

(85 Posts)
CaptainTripps Fri 27-Dec-13 15:21:26

I'm sorry but this really needs saying. I've seen, over time, offensive and downright nasty replies to the poor, hapless poster with the 'AIBU' issue.

This is on my mind right now as I was in this situation last night having posted a fairly innocuous problem. I was called precious, odd, told to get out more, that I should start a hobby, pushy, controlling, 'ffs get over yourself', rude and condescending, to get professional help, aggressive, shallow and facile...

None of my posts merited this on this particular thread. At least I don't think so.

I remained polite on the thread and decided not to respond to --the idiots--offensive posters. I had some lovely replies too, mind you.

But the level of rudeness and personal insults!

Look - I am no wilting violet and can deal with this. But I am curious as to why people do it. Perfectstorm summed it up brilliantly and I hope she doesn't mind me quoting her here:

...posting on MN in a way calculated to belittle and demean others as a way of not-too-subtly validating yourself is evidence of a deep and grounded nature? You'll forgive me if I take your proclaimed set of values with a fairly sizeable pinch of salt, on the sole evidence available to me here.

So - is it alcohol? Or posting via the comfort of anonymity? Or should I be magnanimous and think that these people have bitter and twisted lives?

Valdeeves Sat 28-Dec-13 14:33:52

I haven't read your thread but I do agree some people can be pretty harsh on here. But then we all know that's how it is.

Johnnyrotten123 Sat 28-Dec-13 13:03:53

Well, I've seen plenty of threads where the OP gets all chippy when, after acting like a bit of a dick, people tell her to stop acting like a bit of a dick. But to start a whole new thread about how this must be because they're pissed/bitter and twisted is really taking things to a whole new level hmm.

differentnameforthis Sat 28-Dec-13 02:36:20

OP, was a jumper really worth getting so het up about? Fwiw, I think the answers you got are quite reasonable! You used quite a condescending tone throughout, in my opinion.

Continually stating that it was special etc. Well it wasn't that special that you gave it away, was it?

pramela Sat 28-Dec-13 00:06:56

I think being a liberal, feminist, humanist, politically correct warrior just utterly exhausts some mumsnetters to the point that they blow a gasket and vomit all over AIBU.

Caitlin17 Fri 27-Dec-13 23:52:00

Oh the special jumper thread. I was sober, still think if you give something away, you give it away.

There are so many AIBU who take offence at being told "yes you are" Why bother asking if all you wanted was " no of course not"

PrincessFlirtyPants Fri 27-Dec-13 23:47:39


envy envy envy

Beaaware Fri 27-Dec-13 23:35:26

What a great thread, thank you CaptainTripps totally understand where you are coming from and agree with you 100%.

Alisvolatpropiis Fri 27-Dec-13 22:27:34


Though if I've had a couple of glasses of wine the worst I'll do is miss the light hearted intention behind a particular thread.

I'm as likely to be sharp after a drink as I am stone cold sober.

It isn't anonymity, if someone asks for advice then the only good advice is that you believe to be honest and genuinely helpful surely? That's how I operate in real life.

Granted I don't seem to be told I'm nasty on here very often <shrug>

mistermakersgloopyglue Fri 27-Dec-13 21:08:23

Pissed not posses!

mistermakersgloopyglue Fri 27-Dec-13 21:06:43

I haven't read your particular thread op, but the moment I realised that actually quite a few replies on mn are possibly alcohol fuelled was after the anyfucker scandal. The morning after that whole thing there quite a few people who said that they had had a few wines the night before and that had influenced what they had written e.g. comparisons with Rosa parks and the like but you couldn't really tell people were posses just from the posts, I just thought they were erm, passionate about anyfucker not as it turned out being banned!

I wouldn't have necessarily thought that many people mumsnet while under the influence, but I guess they probably do

PointyChristmasFairyWand Fri 27-Dec-13 20:44:53

Princess that was one of the best threads ever. I have never laughed so hard in my life. And I also came across the term 'wankbadger' so it was educational too. grin

DejaVuAllOverAgain Fri 27-Dec-13 20:42:04

I don't think it's alcohol, I think some people are just nasty and use AIBU to be as vile as possible.

I can't comment on your thread OP as I haven't seen it. However, there have been some threads where some posters have picked bits out of the OP and used them to harangue the OP whilst ignoring other relevant bits so they can carry on with their own agenda.

CaptainTripps Fri 27-Dec-13 20:32:51

Some good viewpoints here. Thanks for replying.

PrincessFlirtyPants Fri 27-Dec-13 20:29:57

- Where the OP is goady and really rather asking for it - like the one who came onto AIBU, announced she was a new MNer and asked us all to please stop swearing because it wasn't ladylike. Sorry, but she deserved everything she got

That sounds like a great thread. I'm sorry I missed that.

Lazyjaney Fri 27-Dec-13 19:28:40

"However, I doubt it's drink, it's much more likely to be the safety of anonymity"

I'd agree. Also, one persons straight talking is another's offensive statement.

IMO you get far more of what people do actually think on AIBU, it's real life that gives the socially airbrushed view.

Whistleblower0 Fri 27-Dec-13 19:20:45

You need to get over it. I really think you are investing far too much in an internet forum. Some people will agree with you, some wont. such is life.

I'm somebody who speaks their mind in real life as well as on here. i dont recall, but i'm sure lots of posters have disagreed with me/ called me a twat in my short time on here. It doesn't bother me in the slightest.

onedev Fri 27-Dec-13 19:04:04

Totally agree with Worra.

scottishmummy Fri 27-Dec-13 18:58:09

Nah,I don't drink, I have been known to hammer the Assam tea though
Never got my drinking boots back after having weans

candycoatedwaterdrops Fri 27-Dec-13 18:57:42

YANBU in general but YABU about your post. Your tone started off the thread badly and you are clearly still obsessing. Who cares what a bunch of randomers think? Change your name or just get over it. People won't remember it unless it's something major like pomme bear.

notanotherusername1 Fri 27-Dec-13 18:57:39

It's amazing that people have to put things like " my first aibu so please be kind". Why can't people be kind, firm if it's needed but still kind. I hate the c* word. Would never ever use it in RL nor the t* word.

I have been shocked at things I have read on here, really shocked and appalled. I have also been amazed at how petty and nasty some can be. Christmas really does seem to bring out some ugly behaviour.

Have also been reduced to crying with laughter (Misty Whore...Miss Dior) and been moved at how kind some can be. A mixed bag with a tendency more towards the nasty.

haveyourselfashandy Fri 27-Dec-13 18:56:22

Whenever I see a spiteful reply to an op that's uncalled for I always imagine a very sad,lonely person sat at a computer.There's something not quite right about upsetting somebody anonymously and obviously enjoying it.

TaraLott Fri 27-Dec-13 18:56:07

Oh, I dunno sm, I bet you like a wee dram or two before you get stuck in. wink

Snowdown Fri 27-Dec-13 18:55:47

I do find there is a gang mentality going on here, it's easy to bully the op when the weight of opinion lands squarely on the yabu and posters really do get stuck in at times, like they are hungry for a good fight. I have posted here a light hearted AIBU and I was blown away by the venom, it wasn't a big deal but was amazed by the muscle flexing that went on, some posters must be hell to know in real life or they are cowards who only reveal their true selves express themselves online. And I'd imagine alcohol has a lot to do with it.

scottishmummy Fri 27-Dec-13 18:52:20

I don't think it's alcohol fuelled at all,I think it's a strangers opinion you can take It or leave it
Think the fact that you get a range of pov,with no familial or social baggage is refreshing
Presumably folk ask because they want that range,and its not cluttered by familiar association

DeepThought Fri 27-Dec-13 18:47:14


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