Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

AIBU?

Funeral cars and traffic

101 replies

Messupmum · 27/12/2013 13:13

I was just driving back from the sales, came to a busy roundabout. The hearse had already piled out and there was a funeral car behind so I signaled to the driver to let him out to be behind the hearse.

Then I noticed the next car behind the funeral cars tried pulling out infront of me but I'd already started moving and was blocking traffic so carried on. This car was then behind me, driving closely and obviously annoyed I hadn't let her out. I then guessed she was part of the funeral. She then took another turning off the road, suddenly appeared at a side road and tried to pull out infront of me! I couldn't stop suddenly, so she beeped at me, looked like she was shouting and was really angry. I beeped back as she can't just pull out infront of traffic.

Sorry this is long-winded and boring, but do all cars heading to a funeral need to stay one behind the other? I felt bad as obviously they aren't having a very nice time of it, but her attitude just annoyed me. She ended up behind them anyway after I turned off. I won't put her appearance on here, but I locked my doors! Think she was out of order driving like that and beeping infront of the hearse and close family/friends in the funeral car.

OP posts:

Report

Messupmum · 27/12/2013 13:13

*pulled' not piled

OP posts:

Trills · 27/12/2013 13:15

A funeral is no excuse for driving like an idiot.

If she'd needed to follow the cars to know where she was going I'd understand her being annoyed at you (still no excuse for tailgating), but if she took a side road to make a loop and try to cut in then she's clearly familiar with the route.

Finola1step · 27/12/2013 13:16

Yes she was out of order but she may well be having a very hard day. Chalk it up and let it go.

Mignonette · 27/12/2013 13:16

She was an arse and driving inconsiderately at best. Worse case scenario is drivers like her being responsible for other people having to bury loved ones killed in traffic accidents.

Sirzy · 27/12/2013 13:17

Massive over reaction from her. Yes it's nice to try to let the whole funeral party out but realistically that isn't always possible.

On a side note I do wish funeral directors would give black flags to cars following the funeral in order for them to be easily identifiable as part of the funeral.

eurochick · 27/12/2013 13:18

She was inconsiderate but it's usual to let the cars following the hearse stay together. So you broke that etiquette and probably enraged an already stressed grieving person who then did something silly.

ThatIsIt · 27/12/2013 13:19

If they wanted to be part of the official procession they should have hired a funeral car. Anyone lets out the hearse and any following black official looking cars. How would you know who is and isn't part of the funeral after that.

Messupmum · 27/12/2013 13:19

Yeah I've let it go, just wanted to know if I was in the wrong. Felt a bit guilty, but then just felt angry. But I suppose emotions are all over the place when going to a funeral. I just get really anxious and can't stop thinking about stuff like that when it happens! I'll let it go though.

OP posts:

Sirzy · 27/12/2013 13:20

Thatis - have you seen the price of funeral cars? It isn't feasible for most people to afford more than one or 2.

ThatIsIt · 27/12/2013 13:21

If she was that upset, she shouldn't have been driving. I think as a pp said, a black flag for normal looking cars would help.

innoparticularorder · 27/12/2013 13:22

Happened to me on a roundabout too. All the cars following the hearse expected to be let them through while I had cars piling up behind me. I was given many dirty looks by the drivers when after letting about 3 additional cars through I carried on.
It's not on. I would never dream of doing that and the hearse drives so slow they can easily catch up. YANBU.

ThatIsIt · 27/12/2013 13:23

Sirzy Well if you can't afford an official car, or can't organise a black flag, then you accept that people won't know you are part of the funeral and not drive so oddly.

Messupmum · 27/12/2013 13:23

I did do a quick check to see of they were wearing black, but I was across the roundabout so had little choice. I don't like feeling intimidated, I didn't know they were part of it, and she didn't know I didn't have babies in the babyseats in my car! I feel bad I beeped back, as the other cars were infront of me. It was just instinctive to her not stopping coming out of the side road.

OP posts:

limitedperiodonly · 27/12/2013 13:29

I was so upset by the deaths of my parents that someone inadvertently joining the procession wouldn't have added to my grief.

It might have even made me laugh. Life does go on, doesn't it?

WooWooOwl · 27/12/2013 13:30

Woman sounds like a loon, but I would always take extra care to allow cars to stay together if they might be following a hearse. I'd rather chance someone being cheeky and following when they are nothing to do with the funeral than split up a cortège, even one that is made up of random cars or mourners.

BerryChristmas · 27/12/2013 13:32

Just let it go, OP, just let it go.

mysteryfairy · 27/12/2013 13:36

The woman didn't behave particularly well but actually who breaks up a funeral procession? I've very rarely seen anyone inconsiderate enough to do that in real life.

mrsjay · 27/12/2013 13:38

I guess the woman was just mad at you but by the sounds of it you did nothing wrong she will be muttering about you all day, you tried your best to let the car out and tbh I know it was a funeral but if it isn't the funerals cars then how are folk meant to know on a busy road,

NewtRipley · 27/12/2013 13:39

I expect she behaved in an emotional way on account of going to a funeral. Not your fault, if you didn't know she was part of the procession and didn't have a choice

Altinkum · 27/12/2013 13:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Altinkum · 27/12/2013 13:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pigsDOfly · 27/12/2013 13:41

Can't understand why some people seem to think it's an excuse to behave badly because you might be feeling grief.

When my DF died many years ago I had to drive 50 miles to his funeral on my own and I was newly pregnant - exh was an arse and didn't feel he needed to come with me.

I most definitely shouldn't have been driving because my emotions were all over the place but the last thing I was feeling was aggressive, just sad and weepy.

The OP had no idea if the other driver was even in the funeral procession and whether she was or not has no bearing on her rudeness. If she thought she would get lost if she couldn't follow a few cars behind the hearse then she shouldn't be driving; hearses are huge black things going very slowly so are hard to miss up ahead.

She's probably just a nasty aggressive driver who thinks she owns the road where ever she's going; there's a lot of them about.

mrsjay · 27/12/2013 13:41

I dont think the woman was being an arse either she just wanted to be with the procession and was pissed off when she came across the op again at the road end,

Sirzy · 27/12/2013 13:42

but actually who breaks up a funeral procession?

At my Grandpas funeral we had one family car and and BT van pushed between the hearse and the family car. We couldn't believe what we were seeing!

ToffeeOwnsTheSausage · 27/12/2013 13:43

We live fairly near a crematorium so see a lot of hearses with one-three funeral limo cars following and then numerous regular cars. We have also had coaches where there are hundreds of mourners. If I find myself directly behind a hearse I slow down and leave a large gap and when the turn off I don't speed off. I used to worry people behind will be annoyed at my slow pace if they are unaware of the hearse but now I don't care. More important to show respect. Seeing, and hearing, the racing off as a driver revs his engine to go faster after the hearse has turned off is just awful.

Sometimes it isn't obvious if a car is carrying mourners so no one should feel crap for breaking up the procession when they couldn't see if they were in it or not, not everyone wears black.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.