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AIBU? Help me settle huge argument with DP re: car

(56 Posts)
AnitaManeater Fri 27-Dec-13 11:52:37

My friend recently offered us her old car at mates rates, basically an 05 plate car for £350. She is swapping to a motability car as her DD is severely disabled and needed a car which her new wheelchair could fit in. My friend was anxious about having tyre kickers round and as a single parent with no mechanical knowledge she was keen to sell to a friend rather than have strangers round. We were lucky enough to be offered first refusal.

We decided it would be a good idea to buy the car to replace DPs. DPs car is 11yrs old with 200k on the clock. it's still on the original clutch and has cost us a huge amount in repairs over last couple of years. Its scruffy inside and to be honest, the next big repair bill on it will be make or break. New car has 50k on the clock and is very tidy, not to mention newer, cheaper to tax and insure.

So we now have new car on the driveway, awaiting the tax disc as it's had to be re registered as a petrol car as it was previous exempt due to disability. DP has now got cold feet and wants to sell it. There is nothing wrong with it, he's just taken against it as it's a Peugeot. I'm fuming. We were lucky to be offered first refusal and I know there were a lot of her other friends interested. I'm particularly angry as he intends to profit from it. Friend is a lone parent on IS and if we don't actually use the car ourselves I feel we have taken the piss out of her generosity.

AIBU or is it a case of once the deal is done it's ours to do with as we please? I see my lovely friend regularly and I'm going to be put in a really awkward position if she asks where it is.

Amandine29 Fri 27-Dec-13 11:56:12

You are completely right, do not let him go through with his plan.

BohemianGirl Fri 27-Dec-13 11:56:28

Your DH is v unreasonable. I think he's profiteering from someone vulnerable. sad

marvindarvin Fri 27-Dec-13 11:56:49

Your DP is being a prick. You didn't pay a fair price for it, he has no reasonable reason to reject it, and now he wants to profit from it.

If he really doesn't want it, give it back to your friend and ask for the money back (but even then the mucking around is really taking the piss).

I cannot believe how your DP has twisted this into being acceptable.

I'd agree with your "once the deal is done" comment about you owning it if a fair (market) price had been paid, and if your DH had a legit reason to reject it (not something that was known in advance like the manufacturer) i.e. it was a real dealbreaker which wasn't his/your fault.

I also think he's been very selfish putting you in the position of having to explain/lie to your friend about where it is - she's obviously tried to help you out by selling it very cheaply to you, and this is how your "D"P wants you to repay that? hmm

NoelHeadbands Fri 27-Dec-13 11:57:19

Absolutely not, your friend has done you a massive favour and he can't sell it on.

I think I'd leave him before I let that happen grin

eurochick Fri 27-Dec-13 11:57:33

You are in the right. He is not. Your friend has done something nice for you and you shouldn't take advantage of it.

razmataz Fri 27-Dec-13 11:57:43

It would be very bad form to sell it.

If your DP doesn't want it, the only fair thing to do would be to offer it to another one of the friends who was interested for the same price.

NoelHeadbands Fri 27-Dec-13 11:59:17

And anyway, surely any 'profit' made would end up being negated by the maintenance/tax/running costs that you'd have to continue to pay on the old one

Holdthepage Fri 27-Dec-13 12:01:20

You are right, he is wrong. End of.

MrsGarlic Fri 27-Dec-13 12:02:01

If he does sell it he should give her the 'profit' over the £350 IMO, e.g. if he sells it for £450 he should give her £100.

ComposHat Fri 27-Dec-13 12:02:39

Yes to sell it would be appalling. An 05 car for £350 is essentially giving you the car. To profit from her generosity would be wrong.

Your husband is being a tit. Okay Peugeots are not renown for their reliability, but a low mile well maintained example will be a better bet than a 200k mile banger, regardless of make. Ivget the impression however that your husband has got an eye to the main chance and reckons he can cash in on your friend's generosity.

If your husband is dead against own the new car, only moral thing to do would be to say to your friend that you've changed your mind and is anyone elae in need of the car? Or sell it on her behalf and give her the difference between what you get and what you paid her for it.

pippop1 Fri 27-Dec-13 12:03:37

Absolutely, give it back or at least explain what you are going to do and say you will sell it and just take a small fee for having the hassle of selling it. The rest of any profit should go to your friend.

FWIW, we had a fairly young second hand Peugeot automatic bought from a dealer. After around a year the gearbox developed an intermittent fault and after paying a lot to have it diagnosed by the dealer's computer (we tried elsewhere first), found it was too expensive to repair (£1500) compared to what the car was worth. In effect it was worth nothing and we didn't feel we could honestly sell it to anyone.

I would not buy a Peugeot either. (in the end we part exchanged it - and telling the truth - we were glad to get anything for it!).

BloominNora Fri 27-Dec-13 12:04:30

YANBU - tell him he can sell it but you will give anything over and above the £350 to your friend and that also, next time his car needs a big repair he can go jump and will have to walk / get public transport or find another way of paying for it as it won't be coming out of the family budget.

sashh Fri 27-Dec-13 12:04:36

Tell dh he is being a twat and the only way you will let him sell it is if he gives any profit to your friend.

NatashaBee Fri 27-Dec-13 12:07:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

octopusinasantasack Fri 27-Dec-13 12:10:31

I agree with what others have said, he should give her the profit if he does sell it. He's being a fool though IMO.

Quoteunquote Fri 27-Dec-13 12:13:49

Is he intending to keep using the old car?

He should offer it back, as there were other people interested,

and if he does sell give the profit to the friend.

he is being silly, just tell him no.

NoComet Fri 27-Dec-13 12:15:02

He's being a tit, both DH and I swapped our cars at 10-11 years old because, like your DPs, they start eating money.

Damp affecting the speedo and noises in the suspension on mine were going to be a lot more than £350 to fix. For fuck sake a set of branded tyres for my new car is £500+

Your DF has been very generous, he should accept the bargain in the spirit it was given.

AnUnearthlyChild Fri 27-Dec-13 12:16:51

If he has really taken against it then he should sell it. No point in having a car you hate / don't trust


HE needs to go with you to your friend and explain. Offer it back to her, plus a small sum / bottle of wine by way of apology for the inconvenience, or offer to sell it for her, which i suspect she would prefer, and maybe let him keep 5% of any profit for his time involved in selling it.

I think the way forward is to try to be businesslike and keep any emotion out of it. - he bought something for a very low price now doesn't want it, what is the most fair solution for all parties.

livinginawinterwonderland Fri 27-Dec-13 12:19:24

DP is absolutely in the wrong. You bought it, and got a very good bargain out of it. It would be extremely rude to sell it, especially for profit.

ChristmasCareeristBitchNigel Fri 27-Dec-13 12:20:30

If he doesn't like peugeots, why on earth did he buy one ?

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights Fri 27-Dec-13 12:22:33

Your DP is totally in the wrong, do not let him do this.

You should talk to your friend and ask if she would like to offer it to someone else OR if she would like you to sell it on her behalf and give her the extra money.

Frankly, someone who could do this to a friend of mine, would no longer be in my life, I couldn't share my life and my bed with someone who thought like this.

Corygal Fri 27-Dec-13 12:22:45

It's a cheap trick to play, and DH won't get away with it - how are you going to explain the lack of car when you see your friend?

He can sell it for her, that's fine - but no to keeping the profit.

Lifeisaboxofchocs Fri 27-Dec-13 12:22:50

OP, your DH is being very twattish about this. He sounds like a scumbag if I am honest. Needless to say, i think YANBU.

DejaVuAllOverAgain Fri 27-Dec-13 12:23:17

I may be cynical but was your 'D'P ever planning on using the car or did he only agree because he saw the chance to rip your friend off and make a profit by selling it on.

Either way he's being an arse and any profit, if it is sold, should be given to your friend.

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