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Tell me if IABU? Puppy v Baby

(143 Posts)
PMDD Thu 26-Dec-13 10:38:55

I genuinely don't know if IABU. I have a 13 week old Labrador puppy. My db has a 5 week old son, my nephew. I totally believe my new dn is far more important than my puppy. A dog is a dog, a human is a human. However, a dog is still a living creature and I wouldn't want to hurt or damage a dog.

Yesterday (Christmas Day), db came round at 4. As I answered the door he instantly said you need to lock the dog and cats away as dn is here. Dn has never been round my house before so I have never faced this.

I have always locked the cats out for my db as my dsil is very anti cats. She sees them as vermin. They can stay outside as I lock the cat flap.

I locked the puppy in her cage. They only stayed an hour and a half so that was no problem.

Today (Boxing Day), the whole family are coming round for the day. Father, Mother, brother, sister, lots of nieces and nephews and my 3 children are here - there will be 15 of us.

I can't lock my puppy in her cage all day, I don't think it is fair. However, with so many people the doors will be opening and closing constantly so it will be impractical to lock the puppy in 1 room. Also, my house is quite open plan so there isn't an obvious room to lock her in.

I know my db expects my puppy to be locked in her cage. I don't know what to do.

Rhubarbgarden Sat 28-Dec-13 17:48:49

They sound awful op. I think you dealt with it well although I would have had very strong words in response to the kicking suggestion - and I don't even particularly like dogs. I hope your cats weren't locked outside for the whole eight hours.

HoldMeCloserTonyDanza Sat 28-Dec-13 14:47:17

If the SIL is only familiar with dogs being kept as working animals or guard dogs, the notion of a cuddly Labrador sleeping by the fireplace and lovingly nuzzling young children may be totally foreign to her.

You can intellectually know that a dog is friendly, but if most of your life experience is of deliberately terrifying guard dogs, the thought of one near your newborn is always going to be frightening.

If she had actually kicked him that would be unforgivable, but if she was just nervous and has so recently given birth I'd let it slide.

MiaowTheCat Sat 28-Dec-13 13:08:56

I'm sorry - but to use the technical terminology - you have one right pair of plonkers on your hands. I'd have told her to leave when the kicking was mentioned personally - you'd been MORE than obliging.

Bide your time and wait with glee until the baby's mobile and trying to eat the fluff off the floor and watch the the ensuing hilarity at their reactions...

eurochick Sat 28-Dec-13 09:38:54

They sound like nightmares. I think you handled it well.

Pimpf Sat 28-Dec-13 09:38:48

Your brother is an idiot. Seriously, what an absolute dick. I'm so pleased your sister laughed at him and took the piss. Seriously, barking and tv hurting his ears?

I think you need to follow your sisters lead and laugh at him every time he comes out with shit like this, talk about pfb, in fact you should start calling him that.

And re your sil, if someone asked me if they could kick my pet, I would say sure, as long as you realise I will then kick you 10 times harder. Of course it's not ok!!!! Lets hope that was a language misunderstanding. I think you coped with it well

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights Sat 28-Dec-13 09:38:14

They sound more barking than your puppy fgrin

I wouldn't crate the puppy, lock the cats out or stop anyone making reasonable noise - they can choose whether to come or not. Preferably not. If she had asked me about kicking I'd have told her to leave.

PMDD Sat 28-Dec-13 09:27:03

I didn't crate her for 4 hours, over a period of 4 hours she was walked twice and she slept a lot after each walk. But I didn't think I should walk her for the third time but couldn't keep her in the crate for any longer.

They are super precious over everything to do with their son. Some of it is 'normal' new parent stuff, other things are just weired.

DoYouLikeMyBaubles Fri 27-Dec-13 14:43:45

You handled it very well.

Although four hours crating is too long for a puppy. And if someone had asked me can they kick my puppy for getting to close they'd be getting booted straight out of the door.

They're setting themselves up for a whole lot of pain not letting the baby hear loud noises, being extra quiet and having subtitles on grin end up with a baby who wakes up at the sound of a pin dropping

PacificDingbat Fri 27-Dec-13 11:31:59

Oh, you handled it really well - good on your sister to making fun of your DB's preciousness; that kept you out of the 'firing line' a bit, being the owner of the puppy an'all.
I am sure they'll calm down with time - well, at least I hope they do, for your DNephew's sake..

revivingsnowshower Fri 27-Dec-13 11:13:27

Well done op sounds like you handled it well. Your db sounds a bit of a pain. My dd has grown up with ddog and it has been really good. You just need a bit of common sense and a lot of dog training and it can be really positive for kids and dogs to be together.

TarkaTheOtter Fri 27-Dec-13 09:53:39

I suppose in your brother's defence he has only been a dad for 5 weeks so hopefully will look back on this and realise how ridiculous he was!

secretsofsanta Fri 27-Dec-13 09:11:52

Well done op. your db and sil are weird

TheRealAmandaClarke Fri 27-Dec-13 07:59:48

Well I think you handled it well op.
I think the leash thing was a good idea. Keeps pup away from baby but you still get to socialise/ play with your cute pup.
Happy Christmas

Morloth Fri 27-Dec-13 07:30:46

That is a lot of fuss over one small puppy.

If they are that concerned they should just not have come when you told them you couldn't crate her for the whole day.

We went to my sister's for boxing day.

Her dogs were penned for the whole time there were extra non immediate family kids running around.

TBH we wouldn't go if they were not, she knows this, but no-one makes a fuss either way - because we are not a bunch of morons and can figure it out.

steff13 Fri 27-Dec-13 04:21:47

Ah, so they're those people who tip-toe around the house when the baby is sleeping, and end up with kids who wake up a the slightest sound. I have a couple of friends like that. I'd be afraid my kids would grow up to be troubled sleepers. I am a VERY light sleeper, and it's not fun. sad

Good on your sister for speaking up! I can't believe your SIL asked if she could kick the dog. Rude.

MidniteScribbler Fri 27-Dec-13 00:45:14

Anyone who threatened to kick one of my dogs would be told to immediately leave and never darken my doorstep again. There's something wrong with people who think that it's ok to be cruel to animals.

MeMySonAndI Fri 27-Dec-13 00:38:54

If it helps, one of my friends asked me if we were going to find new homes for our dogs once Ds was born. I told her that Ds would need to learn to sleep with all the noise. She was horrified and said it was cruel towards the baby and that she would never ever EVER put her baby through that.

Fast forward a few years and Ds had been sleeping through the night, whatever the noise, since he was a baby, her girl was still waking up at any noise by the time she was 5.

Alisvolatpropiis Fri 27-Dec-13 00:36:15

Your Dbis being awfully precious. I think you handled the situation well.

PMDD Fri 27-Dec-13 00:15:32

Yup. I said that she could push the puppy away from her with her foot if the puppy came close to her chair. I don't think this is about my dsil I think it is more my db. Seriously, who on earth would say that the barking was hurting a child's ears. The baby was at least 12 foot away from my puppy and it was a very short burst of barking, not constant at all.

Alisvolatpropiis Fri 27-Dec-13 00:14:44

Also - they are both being ridiculous. I am glad you stood your ground on this.

Alisvolatpropiis Fri 27-Dec-13 00:10:50

Your sister in law asked if she could kick the puppy?


PMDD Fri 27-Dec-13 00:08:25

Hello. I'm the OP. I didn't run away, I had to host my huge Boxing Day family do.

My db was here for 8 hours so there was no way I could lock my puppy away for that long. Dh walked her as soon as db arrived, puppy then slept for an hour. However, she then started barking so I took my puppy out with my older nephews and nieces for a short walk.

Again, she was put in her crate once we came back. After about 4 hours I said to my brother that I was going to bring her into the lounge but keep her on her lead and I wouldn't let the puppy anywhere near my 5 week old nephew.

My dsil asked if she could kick the puppy if she came close to her. I said she could push the puppy away with her foot, but clearly not to boot her.

So the puppy came in the lounge and after a while barked - she barked twice and my brother asked me to remove the puppy from the lounge as the barking was hurting his 5 week old babies ears.

I was dumb founded. Thankfully my sister jumped in and took the piss out of our brother and said that he was being a plonker and that the baby needed to get used to noise.

At this comment dsil said that their house is very quiet and they watch tv on low but with subtitles.

I refused to remove the puppy as she was quite well behaved and was just sitting down and chewing on a toy. She barked when she wanted to get a toy out of her reach.

HaveToWearHeels Thu 26-Dec-13 22:42:42

so when I brought home my 24 hour old baby with a 4 year old Boxer in the house should I have kept them separated indefinitely, just in case he bit her ?

No I came in first made a huge fuss of the dog then DH came in with DD in her car seat and let him have a sniff while I sat beside her. He gave her a little sniff and from that day they were inseparable, they were never left in the same room unattended. She is now 4 and dog is 8, the only problem is trying to teach her not all dogs are like our dog.

DavenotChas Thu 26-Dec-13 22:11:46

We've got a dog gate for our kitchen. Not just for when visitors arrive but when he's absolutely filthy from the forest etc. This means we and he don't feel as though we're separating just for visitors, it's just a normal part of life after a muddy walk and it means he can't jump all over everybody. (Bad mannered collie)

I understand this doesn't help you today but it's worth considering for the future.

P.S. dogs are ace and are well worth the upheaval for Christmas/birthdays/days out. Mine is like the world a best councillor x

Lweji Thu 26-Dec-13 22:03:28

Lweji - I have read the thread and the mouthing observation which is why I said the puppy didn't have to be let within sniffing/mouthing distance to the baby. That doesn't mean it should be kept under lock and key in a cage in another part of the house.

How is this to be interpreted, then?

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