to cash in dd's premium bonds

[vitalia]

My fil buys our dc' s premium bonds every birthday and christmas.
My dd is 3.5 and is on the waiting list for nhs speech therapy. We have finished the listening group, and now there is a nine month waiting list for the next group. (She starts reception in September)
The nhs assessor made no bones about how rubbish the nhs system was now and how it's difficult to get good results when children are in groups with long waiting lists between each block of sessions.
We got on really well with the nhs assessor and asked her if she would teach our dd privately.
Money is as always tight, but we feel our dd would suffer at school if we don't start tackling her speech problems.
Would we be unreasonable to cash in some of her premium bonds to enable her to have private speech therapy?
We also save monthly for our dc' s, and of course would put the money back when we are able.

[Vivacia]

I think it is wrong to do this behind your father-in-law's back.

[Iwannalaylikethisforever]

Ask him. If the money is for her, why does it matter when she needs to use it? He may surprise you and be really happy he has been able to help. Good luck.

[HoHoHopelessAtNamingBabies]

I think you need to seek permission from your FIL and be sue you will be in a position to pay it back at some point soon (ie. if one of you is currently studying/mat leave etc and returning to work which will raise the household income).

[SaltaKatten]

Have you looked into if there is a school in the area with a speech and languge designated unit? It wouldn't be enough to just apply for a school place there, but your speech and language therapist may be in a position to recommend your daughter for a place. DD2 had a severe speech impairment when starting reception in a dsp. She is in a mainstream setting but has had intensive speech therapy and the teachers and teaching assistants have experience in working with children with speech and language problems. It's made the world of difference for her.

[Chocovore]

If you save monthy for your DCs, why can't you use that money instead?

[janey68]

I think you should use the savings you've put aside if you feel strongly that this is something you want to invest in

This isn't a life or death situation. Arguably there are many things you could spend the bonds on which you rightfully believe would improve the quality of your dd (or indeed other children's) lives. It could be swimming lessons, some other type of tuition, books, electronic equipment...
I think it's difficult to know where to draw the line tbh, as anything you decide to spend it on will be because you genuinely believe its in your dds interests, but I think as the bonds are hers, it's not reasonable to make a decision while she's too young to really understand.

[babybearsmummy]

IMO they're your dd's bonds to do with as you see fit. Could you replace the money for her in the future?

Also you said "some" of her bonds, does she have quite a few? I don't think it would hurt too much and I don't think your FIL would mind; especially if it's going to make things better for your dd. At the end of the day, that's what savings and investments etc are for.

Lots of luck with your dd's speech therapy

[Snoopingforsoup]

As it's for something you feel is worthwhile and of benefit to your child, I would do it.

It's not like you're blowing it on something rubbish.

Do see if there are alternatives and ask what this therapist will do that's different to what you're already getting. If it's just a case of speeding up the process of helping her speech then I'd say you're being very practical.

Be practical in asking how many sessions you need to pay for and expected results in that timeframe so you don't get half way through a programme you can't finish etc.

Good luck OP. I would be thinking exactly the same way as you if it were my DC.

[WilsonFrickett]

I wouldn't hesitate to do this but I think neither would your FIL so you should ask him if he minds. It may be cheaper (and actually more beneficial) for the therapist to teach you, so you actually practice the exercises etc with DD.

[JingleMyBells]

Sorry, but I'm not sure why you are asking strangers on the internet. She is your daughter and you know her best. If you think you should do it then do. Good luck

[ThreeWisePerpendicularVinces]

I would do it, but would speak to FIL and discuss it with him.

The bonds are for her benefit, and the speech therapy sessions would be too, so I would see it that the bonds funded this. To be honest, I wouldn't think twice if it would help my child.

[TidyDancer]

I see nothing wrong with this in principle, but I would speak to FIL first.

And good point from Chocovore, why don't you use the savings?

[floppyfanjo]

If there's no way you could afford it without cashing in the bonds then I wouldn't hesitate.

Depending of the severalty of your DD's problems it could impact on her ability to make friends and this may unfortunately follow her throughout her school years making them miserable and lonely and I can't understand posters thinking that its unreasonable to do something if you can - its not as you are using the money for ballet lessons !!!

I'd ask the therapist for an honest opinion on whether or not your DD is still likely to have problems when she starts school and how severe these problems will be when the time comes - there's a difference between her peers and teachers not being able to understand her at all or is it just a case of certain letter sound she struggles with.but is generally understood.

[sashh]

IMO they're your dd's bonds to do with as you see fit.

IMO they belong to the child and are not for the mother to do with. In fact can you even cash them in if they are not in your name?

[greenfolder]

We had private speech therapy. It was 40 a session. You could do one session a month. Do you really need to cash in savings to pay? If the bonds weren't there could you find it?

[delusionindex]

Maybe I'm jumping to conclusions but I get the impression you could use your own money but would rather use your dd's. If you can afford it yourself you should be paying for it yourself, it is your obligation as a parent.

[vitalia]

we can't use our own savings for dd as its in a trust fund and can't be accessed until she's 16.
we are the guardians of the premium bonds so we are able to cash these in. when dd is 16 they then transfer over to her name.

due to the severity of her problems we were advised she would need one session a week at least for the first two months then we could possibly reduce sessions to fortnightly. (we had two assessments to see if this was really necessary, both had the same outcome)

we can afford to contribute to the speech therapy but there's no way we can afford £50 a week from our finances. Our idea was to use £400 from her bonds to fund 8 lessons and we would pay the rest. She has £2100 in bonds as do her siblings, my fil buys them all the same at birthdays and Christmas.
We aren't in a position to pay it back in the near future, but by the time she's 16 we could make the total the same as her siblings.

I hate the idea of taking the money from her, but we have already been told she's turning to solitary play at her play group as children aren't understanding her. she has always been really confident so obviously this is a big worry for us.

[ThreeWisePerpendicularVinces]

vitalia, your reasoning is fair and it would be for the benefit of your DD. I would do it.

[Dominodonkey]

I don't normally agree with parents using their child's presents/money for things they should be paying for but here it is different. She desperately needs these and you will be paying it back. All good- I hope the therapy is successful. X

[ladypanbanisha]

Is it ethical for the NHS SALT to profit from you after they tell you how rubbish the service is ?

[Eastpoint]

Why don't you tell your in laws, they might offer to fund the therapy? Even if they can't fund it in full if you explain it all clearly they might help pay for it. They will probably ask you if she has ever won anything from the Premium Bonds at some point.

[Blondeshavemorefun]

i would talk to fil first as he would expect dd to have x amount by the time she was say 5/10/15 if putting the same in for all his grandchildren

[Minnieisthechristmasmouse]

Well tbh if seek a second opinion first simply because how do you know why the NHS person is telling you this? I'd hope they are professional, but for peace of mind check first. Just makes me a bit suss is all.

At same time check with fil, for blessing only really, and go ahead. Sounds useful to dd if all based covered.

[Minnieisthechristmasmouse]

Sorry, sounds like a private nice chat by your description rather than a professional stance iykwim

[complexnumber]

You haven't stated whether your DP/H has an opinion on this.

Surely it should be something for him to discuss with his own father, not for you to post about behind his back.