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Dh has never bought any presents for dd until this year.

(26 Posts)
VivaLeBeaver Tue 24-Dec-13 22:52:22

I've done all the shopping and paid for them all previously. Which is fine, that's not the issue. I've got the money and if I needed money from him he'd happily contribute if asked/told to.

However this year he told me he saw something in a shop for her. So first time in 13 years and he's bought her something. Fab.

I've found in the stocking now six presents, all wrapped with tags that say "to dd, love from dad".

To say I'm pissed off is an understatement. I've told him and he has looked rather abashed and has said I can amend the tags. He's obviously pleased with himself for buying her some stuff and wants the glory tomorrow but as I pointed out I have never written "from mum" on anything. Its always been from both of us.

Aghhhh. grin

FredFredGeorge Wed 25-Dec-13 17:56:17

I don't get the need to be "joint presents" either, equally I don't get the particular point of them not being joint. But not everything you do in a family is joint, there are places I generally only take DD and things only we do together. There are also things that generally only DP does with DD and places they go together. She knows we're different people and like different things, giving gifts are going to be the same - it's not trying to buy DD's love or anything.

I guess simply being too lazy to write tags has its advantage in that no-one will care...

TalkinPeace Wed 25-Dec-13 15:33:09

build on it : in future years, each of you get her half her pressies so that you can both get the enjoyment of surprise
each of you go with her to buy pressies for each other from her
this is a real chance to make future Christmases and birthdays even better
roll with it

Crinkle77 Wed 25-Dec-13 14:04:55

Why has your DP never contributed to the cost of presents for your daughter?

WaitingForPeterWimsey Wed 25-Dec-13 14:04:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VivaLeBeaver Wed 25-Dec-13 11:20:14

Dh changed the tags. But I did tell dd that certain presents had been chosen by dh so I think she appreciated that.

He got her, a Countryfile calendar, a glow in the dark star chart, a personalised memory stick and a battery operated marble run. No doubling up. smile

wednesdaygirl Wed 25-Dec-13 10:57:28

Dont get the separate money thing anyway but to buy gifts for your child separate is blowing my mind

Andanotherthing123 Wed 25-Dec-13 10:32:50

I can appreciate it's annoying but just wanted to say that I knew my Mum bought all our presents every year and my God, she was generous and they never went unappreciated. But very occasionally, my Dad would see something, wrap it and give it to me from just him. It didn't detract from the magic of my Mum's presents but I hold each memory of when he did find something very close to my heart, especially when I was a teenager as i found it hard to have a close relationship with him and it made me feel like he loved me. Hope it went ok OP and happy Christmas!

MammaTJ Wed 25-Dec-13 07:39:23

What did he get her? Has he doubled up at all? Did she like what he bought? Did she like what he bought more that what you bought?

TheRealAmandaClarke Wed 25-Dec-13 06:13:50

I would be annoyed too.
I know everyone is different, but personally I think that presents for DCs are meant to be from both parents (or FC) I can't get my head around separateness in this area. It's not just about being a couple, it's about being parents. With regard o the DCs we have to be a team.
It's lovely that he bought her something but thoughtless to write his name, given that's not the way you've been doing things all these years.
And why take the risk of doubling up?
Surely even separated parents liaise about a gift list.

Happy Christmas.

SantasPelvicFloor Wed 25-Dec-13 05:18:46

It's incredibly rude unless he wants you to make a point on Christmas morning that all previous Christmas presents have always been from you

This would piss me off enormously

Shnickyshnackers Wed 25-Dec-13 05:18:30

Tags on stuff in a stocking? But they are from FC surely? smile

homeagain Wed 25-Dec-13 05:14:32

Because it always has been from both when the OP bought them, and the one time her DH bought them they were just from him according to the tags. Which is very insensitive. But at least he recognised that he'd been a bit crap.

Caitlin17 Wed 25-Dec-13 02:43:37

Sorry, but what is the problem? There's another thread about this joint gift giving thing. I really don't understand the "we're a couple thing, must be from both"

Rosencrantz Wed 25-Dec-13 02:03:18

Chalk it down to him being thick and just not thinking.. No malice.

Change the tags though!

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights Wed 25-Dec-13 02:01:40

It never fails to amaze me the 'different' relationships people have - I just couldn't live like that. He's so selfish.

I hope it's something(s) she loves though.

attheendoftheday Wed 25-Dec-13 01:56:05

Tags need changing. That would piss me off too.

Or you label every present you buy (for dc, in laws, everyone) as from you alone. For ever more.

WaitingForPeterWimsey Tue 24-Dec-13 23:46:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VivaLeBeaver Tue 24-Dec-13 23:18:07

Well I never expected him to go shopping. He never has before. He knew what the main present was but I didn't think he'd be interested in the list of stocking fillers.

Nanny0gg Tue 24-Dec-13 23:10:18

Don't get it.

Why don't people just talk about this stuff?

By all means come up with ideas and go and shop for them, but talk about them so there is no danger of doubling up.


VivaLeBeaver Tue 24-Dec-13 23:02:33

And apart from her main present he hasn't a clue what I've got her so I hope we haven't doubled up.

VivaLeBeaver Tue 24-Dec-13 23:01:32

That's true, they might be shit. grin

I'd already told dd that dh had actually been to the shop on his own and bought her something. I guess she does know that I do the present choosing/buying.

Lweji Tue 24-Dec-13 22:59:01

I bet she knows who bought all the presents in the last 13 years, so it's only fair that he gets the credit this year.
Plus, if she doesn't like them, you better not get involved. wink

InPursuitOfOblivion Tue 24-Dec-13 22:58:54

Can definitely see your point of view. I'd be pissed off too. Men!

Lweji Tue 24-Dec-13 22:57:09

LTB. smile

TalkinPeace Tue 24-Dec-13 22:56:27

your kids have always known ....
be pleased that he cares
my parents never did
he owes you a belter of a restaurant dinner in January though fsmile

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