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To think he is a giant prick?

(27 Posts)
Hetupandcross Tue 24-Dec-13 20:21:08

My mother in law and father in law visited at the weekend for a couple of painful and stressy days, she sniped at me all the time and was quite rude, Playing on my very real fears about drowning/snakes etc, I smiled and put on a brave face. Despite wanting to run to my bedroom and do the wrapping - I couldn't they were sleeping there and it was their "privacy" sad
I have been wrapping main presents all week as who wants to rush on Christmas Eve? His Lordship could not be bothered to help me once, Not that I cared, I was happy doing it whilst watching TV.

Today my mum visits, My eldest hates the present she bought (the only one my mum picked) and was rude about it. "oh well that's what you get when you dont listen" my husband mutters grin
So to stop things getting worse I took my mum out without the kids (especially the horrid one who did want to come!) We get back after a bloody nice 3 hours, Hubby has spent the entire time upstairs wrapping the stocking presents grin Something we usually do together.
My mum is here for another 4 or so hours and he stays upstairs. I make dinner and he comes down to eat it and leaves right away. refusing the drink she made him, and not letting us has trifle (he doesn't want her to have it) despite it going out of date today!!! Finally after My mum leaves I go upstairs to help him wrap, he wont let me and refuses to allow me too! I Try and find the Christmas pyjamas, but miss a pair.. Ask him to help and he refuses and blames me, , but I say he is ruining our Christmas, to which i get called a bitch, probably deserve it to be fair.
I am so supremley upset, He ignored my mother, he wont let me put our kids to bed (7 and 9) He has already filled their stocking and wont let me let the kids hang them up!! AND HE USED THE SAME F*ING WRAPPING PAPER FOR FATHER CHRISTMAS AS THE MAIN PRESENTS!!!!
I honestly feel like I hate him, and I could just sit here and cry.

Hetupandcross Tue 24-Dec-13 20:22:05

I should add that he complained about not doing the main presents and said it was one set of rules for me and one for him!

Coconutty Tue 24-Dec-13 20:23:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

harriet247 Tue 24-Dec-13 20:28:35

There is more to this surely? !

XmasLogAndHollyOn Tue 24-Dec-13 20:30:05

Christmas really does bring out the best in people doesn't it. He's been a bit of a nob and I hope its not a usual thing.

TheNightIsDark Tue 24-Dec-13 20:30:10

Why are you with him?

reup Tue 24-Dec-13 20:37:10

What is he planning to do with the trifle? Surely the kids will be upset not to hang up their stockings?

But why do you wrap stocking presents? Surely that's what the stocking is for?

I would love not to wrap any presents though.

Gruntfuttock Tue 24-Dec-13 20:43:11

What a horrible man. I know Christmas can be a stressful time, but I think husbands and wives should be mutually supportive to each other and try to make it as pleasant as possible for all concerned. I don't understand the OP's husband's behaviour at all.

LessMissAbs Tue 24-Dec-13 20:43:50

Do you live near a large body of water or snake habitat?

probably deserve it to be fair.

Why do you deserve to be called a bitch? I can't see anything in that post that warrants it.

DP had a bit of a moment earlier, snapping at me. 5 mins later he was back in apologising and starting on the wrapping for me (I ended up doing it coz I like doing it.)

My point is, its christmas, there's lots to do, everyone is tired. Some of us are being forced to spend time with people we wouldn't necessarily choose to normally. Tempers get frayed.

But he is continuing it on, calling you a bitch and generally acting like a prick, and its crossing a line. Is he always like this?

daisychain01 Tue 24-Dec-13 20:52:37

hetup it sounds like you are all just over-tired, fed up with each other, but its understandable, its Christmas and everyone just gets on everyone elses nerves even if you love each other dearly.

Pour a glass of something and take a deep breathe! It will soon be Christmas and then its over for another year.

rabbitlady Tue 24-Dec-13 20:56:52

you can keep that one. i don't want him. or alternatively, reflect on whether or not you still want him, in the new year. no rush.
who is he 'not letting' you do things?

neiljames77 Tue 24-Dec-13 20:58:50

How did the MIL play on your fears? She doesn't place them joke rubber snakes in your bag or something does she?

TidyDancer Tue 24-Dec-13 21:03:26

He sounds like a fucking knob. Sorry. sad

supermariosmum Tue 24-Dec-13 21:04:24

All I can focus on in your post OP is the words 'won't let me' and ' refuses to allow me' again and again.
You are both grown ups, equals - why do you need him to let you do things???

SparkleToffee Tue 24-Dec-13 21:09:14

I'm sorry I'm a bit confused ...... I think DH is being controlling and carrying on an argument unnecessarily, but I don't understand he not letting you do things? Tbh if he won't let your kids eat food bought for them, or put your own children to bed then you have a lot larger issues than the colour of wrapping paper .........

I do think you are getting a bit stressed though about details that don't matter...... It doesn't really matter which paper was used, or that DH didn't go out with you.

If he is normally lovely then it's Xmas stress getting the better if him, and you both just need to kiss and make up.
But if this is standard behaviour then YANBU snd you need to seriously have a think about what you want from your relationship.

sparklysilversequins Tue 24-Dec-13 21:16:43

Won't "let" you put your children to bed?

Anyone who tried to stop me would be on their arse.

ToffeeOwnsTheSausage Tue 24-Dec-13 21:20:46

Seems your husband learnt to be a bully from his mother.

sparklysilversequins Tue 24-Dec-13 21:23:29

Out of interest how do your fears about snakes and drowning affect you on a daily basis? Has something specific happened to cause them?

FortyDoorsToNowhere Tue 24-Dec-13 21:26:29

You are in a relationship and a relationship is about partnership and not about control.

Who the fuck does he think he is saying what his wife can and can not do.

Hetupandcross Tue 24-Dec-13 21:31:56

I think (as he is usually lovely) That its a Christmas thing and I am overreacting and he just want peace and quiet.

No I don't live near water or snakes, But 2 holidays this year (paid for by both sets of parents... One involves going through the Euro-tunnel (hence the comments about drowning and the tunnel collapsing! And another to a snake riddled country smile Both are my worst nightmares and I can often wake up screaming (bit embarrassing tbh)
Thanks for letting me vent, It is Christmas eve, the kids are finally in bed and all the wrapping is done :P Now for the brandy :D

bishbashboosh Tue 24-Dec-13 21:49:44

It's so so hard this time of year

Ideally it should be team work but with all the family an in laws it's bound to be stress

Please just try and enjoy your Christmas Day, if it's shit just think it will soon be over and by mid jAn all of us may be in a better frame of mind to make decisions on wether we like our partners of not

Hope you have a nice day

Nanny0gg Tue 24-Dec-13 23:22:17

So he is only so horribly rude to your mother and nasty to you at Christmas?

YouSayWhaaat Wed 25-Dec-13 03:28:17

Only 2 people sleep in our bed. My partner and I.

If visiting friends and family are not happy with the spare room for a blow up matress on the floor, then there are plenty of hotels and guest houses.

It is our inner sanctum and not to be shared.

BoneyBackJefferson Wed 25-Dec-13 10:13:07

Curious as to why you are pissed off with him for essentially doing to same as you.

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