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To be so fairly furious with ds's school/teacher

(112 Posts)
DirtyDancingCleanLiving Wed 18-Dec-13 20:16:44

Ds1 is 5, in Year 1. Every Monday they take £1 'fruit money' in and then have a piece of fruit with milk in the afternoon. I put the £1 in ds's bookbag every Monday which he then takes out and hands in.
There are two kids in the class that won't eat fruit, so never have it. As far as I know, everyone else (20 + kids) do.

So tonight, I'm putting the dc to bed and ds asks in a really sad voice 'Mummy, can you give Mrs X a pound tomorrow?' I ask why and he says so that he can have fruit tomorrow and Friday. On further questioning, he says that he didn't have £1 on Monday so he hasn't been allowed any fruit. He did ask his teacher but she said he couldn't because he hadn't paid.

He then went on to tell me he's gone into the toilets every day this week at fruit time because 'I didn't want the other children to see me crying'.

So I've looked in his bookbag and found the missing £1 - it had gone right down into the bottom corner (took me a good 20 seconds to find it) so ds1 had thought it wasn't in there.

AIBU to be actually quite upset and angry at his teacher? Could a bit of common sense not have been employed? Ds1 is nearly 6 and started at the school the day after his 3rd Birthday. Without fail, EVERY single Monday, he has always had his fruit money.

Surely common sense would say it's some kind of mistake - why didn't the teacher just have a word with me? Ds always has his money in his bookbag...why didn't the teacher check for him when he couldn't find it?

It may seem really petty to some...but to a 5 year old this is such a big deal. He loves fruit time and the thought that my 5 year old has spent 3 days crying in the toilets at school because he's so disappointed he's been the only one missing out makes me furious.
Any insight from teachers who deal with the whole fruit money with young kids would be helpful too.

AIBU to want to have a serious word with the teacher?

CaptainSweatPants Wed 18-Dec-13 20:31:24

They no longer get milk free
Remember milk snatcher Thatcher - she did away with it in the eighties
Fruit snack once a day should be free
So I'm guessing you're paying for the milk

LynetteScavo Wed 18-Dec-13 20:32:31

I thought fruit was free in KS1.

And if they were expecting your DS to pay, then the fruit would have been ordered, so if your DS wanted it, he should have been given it - you could have paid later.

The teacher probably didn't have a word with you though, as like your son, she's had a busy week.

iwouldgoouttonight Wed 18-Dec-13 20:32:35

At DS's school they get fruit free until they move into key stage two (age 7/8) and then they can take their own in. Milk is free until they're five and then we have to pay.

LynetteScavo Wed 18-Dec-13 20:33:13

Milk is free until a child's 5th birthday here.

CrohnicallySick Wed 18-Dec-13 20:33:25

Absolutely sure. I work in a school. We collect no money and the children get provided with a piece of fruit every day.

DirtyDancingCleanLiving Wed 18-Dec-13 20:34:12

I'll definitely need to clarify with the teacher because ds was very clear that he has still had milk, just no fruit confused

I just can't stop thinking of him in the toilets crying sad

LIZS Wed 18-Dec-13 20:35:27

yabu . At this time of year she probably has umpteen things to think about other than one child's fruit money, just as you have.

LynetteScavo Wed 18-Dec-13 20:36:03

As it's such a big deal, you really need to send the money in an named envelope to make sure the money can be easily found.

Upcycled Wed 18-Dec-13 20:36:09

Why don't you give the £1 pound directly to the teacher or TA?
I am struggle to understand how can you even put a loose coin inside a book bag? Shouldn't it be in an envelop or even a small purse since you have being doing this every Monday since he is 3?
My dd's book bag have a small pouch inside and there is where I put money when needed but she usually likes to hold it and give to the teacher when she has a chance.

And it is a shame he has being crying so much, are you sure he is not exaggerating a bit? I guess he could have told you on Monday if he was so upset about it?

My suggestion is for you to pay a few weeks in advance in the office and remind the teacher every Monday. Also every Monday, remind your son that the money has been paid in the office already, so he can argue with the teacher should if needed.

Yes, she should have let him have fruit.

MiniSoksMakeHardWork Wed 18-Dec-13 20:36:10

take Ina copy of this info. I too thought fruit was free. Certainly dd's class get fruit every day as a snack. In the other two classes, they are allowed to take fruit in for a snack at break time. If your school are charging for the fruit I'd be asking for my money back. If not, they need to be clear on what you are paying for.

HumphreyCobbler Wed 18-Dec-13 20:36:20

I think the teacher was rather mean actually. I would have given him the fruit if he had been in my class, and in fact would always give fruit out to any child who had not paid if they wanted it.

CrohnicallySick Wed 18-Dec-13 20:37:02

Info about the free fruit scheme

JonSnowKnowsNothing Wed 18-Dec-13 20:37:16

The teacher is a negligent bitch. Why didn't she check into the deepest pockets of all 30 year 1s' book bags?! People like this SCAR CHILDREN FOR LIFE!
I'd be FURIOUS too, OP

cowmop Wed 18-Dec-13 20:37:44

We also have free milk and fruit in nursery and reception and possibly year 1. Actually the school receives so much fruit that everyone throughout the school gets a piece everyday.

BohemianGirl Wed 18-Dec-13 20:38:02

Milk isnt 'free' it is EU subsidised .... our borough levies £11.25 a term for school milk (FSM don have to pay of course) . Fruit is free for all pupils

TheGhostOfPortoPast Wed 18-Dec-13 20:38:28

Surely it can't have upset him THAT much if he never thought to mention it to you?

BohemianGirl Wed 18-Dec-13 20:39:02

People like this SCAR CHILDREN FOR LIFE!

meanwhile back in reality

overmydeadbody Wed 18-Dec-13 20:39:16

YouTheCat there is never any fruit left over on a Friday afternoon in my school, pretty much every day the fruit supplied for that day gets devoured by all the children!

Op don't be too harsh on the teacher, it sounds like the system of paying for fruit is to blame, not the teacher.

Twoandtwomakeschaos Wed 18-Dec-13 20:40:00

Fruit is free for Infants (at DCs' Primary, the Governors also decided to provide free fruit for the Juniors); fruit juice/milk has to be paid for.

TheGhostOfPortoPast Wed 18-Dec-13 20:40:06

Sorry - posted too abruptly blush It seems odd to me that he never mentioned on Monday evening for example if it had upset him to the degree he was crying in the toilets.

HmmAnOxfordComma Wed 18-Dec-13 20:40:12

Milk is free until 5th birthday only.

Fruit is free for the whole of KS1. At ds's primary there was always lots spare and so the KS2 children were allowed to take it if they wanted.

Morloth Wed 18-Dec-13 20:40:28

That is shit.

I have dropped the ball a few times over the years and not once has DS1 been inthat situation.

The sensible adults around him have sorted him out and then taken it up with me.

And the times where I have been the adult looking after kids I have done the same.

They have no power over their lives, I think sometimes people forget that.

JonSnowKnowsNothing Wed 18-Dec-13 20:40:33

meanwhile back in reality
Yes, meanwhile back in reality, people make sarcastic jokes... before posting.

Elliemayclampett Wed 18-Dec-13 20:40:52

We used to send DCs snack money in an old camera film canister labelled with his name. I know everyone is digital now, but perhaps you could find one of those tiny Tupperware-type boxes. Would be easier for him to find in the bag.

Slippersandacuppa Wed 18-Dec-13 20:42:33

We don't pay for either and they all get both every day (if they want/ are able to have both). I'm really surprised you're being charged at all!

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