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to think my DH should have agreed with me?

(70 Posts)
AddictedtoGreys Wed 18-Dec-13 15:12:07

we have just had a request for someone to view our house tomorrow, bit short notice but OK, we want to get it sold so not going to turn anyone down.

its a man on his own, I said to my DH that I am a bit uncomfortable being here with the man on my own and our baby, as I wouldn't let a random bloke in off the street if he knocked on my door, but that's technically what I will be doing,

he said, "you can't go through life like that"

what the actual fuck.

I would have thought as my husband he would be in to total agreement! I swear he lives with his head in the sand and pays no attention to the horrible things that go on in the real world angry

I just wanted him to come home for an hour, but he can do one now. I will just ask one of my friends.

so am I being unreasonable feeling like I would rather not be Alone with this stranger? shock

JeanSeberg Wed 18-Dec-13 15:31:07

I presume you're not working at the moment whereas your husband would have to take time off at short notice to do the viewing?

Who did you agree would do the viewings when you put the property on the market?

quesadilla Wed 18-Dec-13 15:31:32

Someone male. Not make.

eurochick Wed 18-Dec-13 15:32:23

It wouldn't bother me. I have let all sorts of workmen in when I am home alone.

AddictedtoGreys Wed 18-Dec-13 15:32:43

we didn't agree who would do what, we have just figured it out as we go along. yes I'm sure you are all quite right, it will be fine. and true he doesn't know I'm alone. don't know what's wrong with me these days I never used to be like this! hmm

lessonsintightropes Wed 18-Dec-13 15:33:51

Redskyatnight but all of those things are different.

Tradesman doing work - either as part of a company or not, but you'll have arranged it and have his contact details so if the worst did happen you'd have a way of tracing him.

Work meeting - not likely to happen in your own home or other private place is it?

Shop - very likely that another customer could enter.

Some randomer who OP doesn't know and doesn't have any way of tracking back (if it's via an online agent who are unlikely to have done any checks) then I do think it's a bit dodgy. Google Suzy Lamplugh if you don't believe me.

OP there are acceptable and unacceptable risks - only you know where the balance between the two is for you personally. I'd probably ask a neighbour or friend around for a cup of tea if you feel anxious about being alone. And I think your DH is unreasonable.

ElizabethBathory Wed 18-Dec-13 15:34:33

If you think about it, your attitude is not much different from that of someone who worries that because some teenagers who wear hoodies are muggers, all teenagers have that potential and should be feared.

That's a much tamer example than the first one I thought of, btw!

AddictedtoGreys Wed 18-Dec-13 15:36:23

Elizabeth at both I am not judging men as a whole, I am just saying that this particular situation makes me feel uncomfortable.

AddictedtoGreys Wed 18-Dec-13 15:36:58

Elizabethbathory even, bloody tablet auto correcting!!

PeanutPatty Wed 18-Dec-13 15:37:22

Your DH was U by not being sympathetic as to why you might feel anxious about an unknown male being in your home with you whilst you are home alone.

Ephiny Wed 18-Dec-13 15:38:14

I think you're a bit unreasonable. Yes there are terrible things that happen, but these things are fortunately rare, and you can't let the fear of them stop you living your life in a normal way.

You hear about people being attacked in the street, for example, and that can make you feel anxious, especially if it's happened to someone you know (as I do) or in an area near you - but you can't let it make you afraid to ever leave your house.

superzero Wed 18-Dec-13 15:39:10

It's not the same as letting a builder/gas man in.They usually have ID.A bloke off the internet could be anyone and if they are viewing the whole house will have access to personal space like your bedrooms.
Also depending on how old your baby is it might be difficult showing him around,and you can't let him wander round al

JeanSeberg Wed 18-Dec-13 15:39:27

You just wanted him to come home from work for an hour with less than a day's notice. I'd struggle with that.

Don't really get your point about living with his head in the sand either. Should he be panicking about the tiny risks involved in everything we do?

So yes you're being unreasonable and you don't want to pass this attitude onto your kids so be careful.

AddictedtoGreys Wed 18-Dec-13 15:39:31

I will be doing the viewing tomorrow as I need to get this house sold, so I will report back!!

ElizabethBathory Wed 18-Dec-13 15:40:30

If it makes you uncomfortable, don't do it, but I think it's perfectly safe (or at least, the risk is extremely low).

AddictedtoGreys Wed 18-Dec-13 15:41:11

jeanseberg my DH is self employed so can come home at any time. he lives with his head in the sand in a sense that he doesn't think that anything bad would ever happen, where as I am a bit more cautious. and my children are just fine thank you.

superzero Wed 18-Dec-13 15:41:47

Posted too soon.
Was going to say,if you get caught up in nappy changing etc you can't let him wander around unaccompanied.
Arrange the viewing in the evening or at the weekend when both there if you feel uncomfortable.

redskyatnight Wed 18-Dec-13 16:02:14

Tradesman doing work = random from yellow pages (many of the tradespeople we use basically are a one man company)

Meeting at work - I have loads of meetings with unknown people in closed meeting rooms. Anything could happen.

Shop - the male shop assistant could lock the shop door.

All of these are as potentially dodgy as OP letting an unknown man into her home.

If I walk down the street I might be attacked by a random passer by.

OP is significantly more likely to be killed in a car accident than attacked by the person coming to view her house. Will this stop her driving in a car?

verytellytubby Wed 18-Dec-13 19:44:43

Ask the estate agent to show him round if you are worried.

ConfusedDotty Wed 18-Dec-13 19:50:33

What's to be worried about? YABU, he is there to see your house not to attack you.

If it bothers you that much cancel the viewing, or specify 'female house buyers only'.

BohemianGirl Wed 18-Dec-13 19:55:11

its a man on his own, I said to my DH that I am a bit uncomfortable being here with the man on my own and our baby, as I wouldn't let a random bloke in off the street if he knocked on my door, but that's technically what I will be doing

Yes, every man is a paedophile rapist. Your DH is an utter bastard. And you do a disservice to every suffragette that died.

Grip? I have a bucket load for you to choose from

mensachampion Wed 18-Dec-13 20:32:37

You could ask the estate agent to come round to help but the EA may be a rapist too.

landrover Wed 18-Dec-13 20:54:57

I think the OP is entirely reasonable, this person is going to walk around her house and it is possible she may well get distracted with baby! Apart from anything he could be a thief! Have you got his details OP? Address you can check out? Estate agents will often even check if people can afford properties so you are def nbe. If my husband said that to me I would be really disappointed and think he didn't care!

SquinkiesRule Wed 18-Dec-13 20:59:48

I'd ask a friend or neighbor to be with you when he comes if you are uncomfortable. We just went on a viewing this afternoon and the MIL showed us around, she was very nice. It was a third viewing for us, first with EA, second with the owners Mum and now the MIL [GRIN]
When we sold we got an hour notice of viewing and the EA showed them round, thank god it sold to the second viewer I don't think I could keep up the level of clean and tidy I had it at for very long.

Nanny0gg Wed 18-Dec-13 21:01:52

I wouldn't be happy either.

This is a totally random person - no way of knowing if he is who he says he is. Bet the police would advise you to be wary.

Any chance a friend could come round and keep you company?

Nanny0gg Wed 18-Dec-13 21:03:35

And I do wish some people, who can't be arsed to RTFT would at least read the OP's posts.


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