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to wonder why some parents bothered turning up to the nativity?

(26 Posts)
oodyboodyboocs Tue 17-Dec-13 18:23:21

Just been to my ds's Christmas production. The school had hired a lorry, it was all lit up with a stage in front in the school playground. You could see the kids had all worked really hard. I was looking forward to it as it is his last year in primary and he had some lines to say.

Sadly I was unable to hear a single word he or any of the other children said due to the noise of the large number of parents who talked all the way through. I was able to hear some of the songs, but even parts of those were drowned out by the buzz of conversation. One parent near me even started shouting her child's name in the middle of one child's part!

So AIBU to think that it is unbelievably rude to talk all the way through the production especially when the kids have worked so hard on it?

I'm really disappointed to have stood freezing in the playground for 45 mins seeing my son and others standing up there speaking in front of all those people (there was a huge crowd) only for them to be drowned out by the people who are supposed to be there to support them. sad angry

TheMuppetsSingChristmas Tue 17-Dec-13 18:33:34

YANBU to have wanted the parents to be quiet, but what on EARTH were the school thinking in having people stood around outside for nearly an hour in this weather, unable to move around to keep warm? What a ridiculous situation, and I suspect some parents were doing whatever they could to relieve the cold and the boredom.

Fairy1303 Tue 17-Dec-13 18:34:30

I hate this OP. YANBU.

However, MIL always insists on coming, and ALWAYS talks through it very loudly in a VERY posh accent. She doesn't take the hint when I don't reply and carries on oblivious.

It is so embarrassing and I hate it. I try not to invite her anymore but apparently I'm 'unfair'.

ErrolTheDragon Tue 17-Dec-13 18:35:18

Incredibly rude. I suppose the format - standing outside - was less formal than the usual chairs in a hall, but that's no excuse for such bad manners and lack of consideration. I'm surprised that the HT didn't intervene and request quiet.

Lorelailovesluke Tue 17-Dec-13 18:35:58

Really muppet it is not that cold and adults are more than capable of dressing appropriately.

NewtRipley Tue 17-Dec-13 18:36:06


I would have said something to them. Or shooshed.

ErrolTheDragon Tue 17-Dec-13 18:37:05

would your MIL talk through a professional theatre production, fairy? Talking through a performance in a posh voice sounds rather fur coat and no knickers.

missmapp Tue 17-Dec-13 18:37:48

YANBU,I am a teacher and have just had to suffer yet another nativity at my school where the parents talk throughout- really annoying for all who have worked hard and those parents who want to listen.

Fairy - you need to be blunt with your MIL - 'MIL - you can come to the play if you have the manners to stay quiet, so we can hear the children - you know - the ones we are there to see and hear!!

I would not blame a Headteacher who stopped the play and refused to restart it until people were prepared to have some manners, and be quiet.

ErrolTheDragon Tue 17-Dec-13 18:40:02

>it is not that cold and adults are more than capable of dressing appropriately.

yes - we had lunch outside at a café today (during dog-walk). really not a problem. and flapping one's tongue doesn't really help keep you warm, does it?

YoureBeingASillyBilly Tue 17-Dec-13 18:41:03

Tbh i think i'd have had to very loudly request that people have some respect and allow the children to perform uninterrupted.

ballstoit Tue 17-Dec-13 18:48:04

Headteachers at my dc school does a short 'ground rules' at their beginning of assemblies and plays - phones on silent, take crying toddlers out, listen quietly etc.

She also once memorably stopped a child saying some lines and said 'Could you repeat that please George, your Mum won't have heard as someone is rudely talking behind her' while eyeballing the chatty parent grin

Some parents moan about her, I love that she values the work that staff and children do enough to risk being unpopular.

pudcat Tue 17-Dec-13 18:48:18

The same thing happened at my d in l's school yesterday, she could not hear a word of what her daughter said. She was so cross and upset. I know when I was teaching I used to stop the narrative and glare at them. The HT always said at the beginning " The children have small voices so please be quiet and also switch off phones." But there are always parents who think that it doesn't apply to them. And they wonder why their dc do not listen in class. BUT the same thing happens in theatres. I once got a well done from several people when I asked 2 women to stop talking.

NorthernLebkuchen Tue 17-Dec-13 18:52:55

There are plenty of dreadful manners on display at school plays. Twas ever thus.

NeatFreak Tue 17-Dec-13 19:03:01

Same happened at my dc's play today. Family in front had two very young boisterous toddlers/ preschoolers and they actively encouraged them to shout their siblings' names, let them stand and jump on the chairs in front of us and were also calling their children's names throughout. Made me so ranty, dh was incredulous that apparently normal people could find this ok, even through stares from other people in the audience.

(Didn't help that they were both at least six feet tall, whilst I am considerably shorter but accept aibu on this point!)

tinselkitty Tue 17-Dec-13 19:06:04

YANBU, I have been known to shush and direct my death stare saved for children at some if the adults that come to our plays.

We did an assembly for the parents a few weeks ago and when I got up with my class a parent nicked my seat to get a better view then refused to move when I got back.

SillyTilly123 Tue 17-Dec-13 19:14:21

Ive had 3 nativities to watch in the past week. The 1st (nursery/reception) wasn't that bad though, there were a few toddlers crying. The 2nd (yr 1 and 2) was ruined by a baby crying for ages before the mother took it out, ruining a friends ds' lines he had worked weeks on learning and eventhough we were in the front row I couldn't hear him angry
Tonights was dd1s (yr4/5) and it was absolutely brill, however yet again crying/whinging toddlers spoilt it, so much so that they have to do it again tomorrow during school time so they can re-record it as the camera picked up all the noise which was such a shame as it was a great atmosphere, and all the applause and laughs will not be in it now.

Some people are so selfish. angry

SarniaCherie Tue 17-Dec-13 19:19:35

Yanbu, preschoolers are banned from ours so I went to the dress rehearsal the day before as had DD with me. Friends who attended the 'proper' event the next day said it was ruined for them as there was a group of presumably parents saying not very quietly that it was A pile of shit and how much longer etc etc. She reckons they were pissed too but no one said anything to them in case it kicked off fsad

Do none if you have voices?

"Shhhhhhh I'm trying to listen."

Is not rude and will shut them up.

If it doesn't, be older and more forceful.

Especially you teachers on here.


YoureBeingASillyBilly Tue 17-Dec-13 19:27:12

Be older? grin

surroundedbyblondes Tue 17-Dec-13 19:30:21

YANBU! At DDs' xmas event I got elbowed out of the way by a father with his camera. Fair enough, it was his DD's first xmas concert. But once he had taken his snaps he continued to stand bang in front of me while he looked through his entire camera roll of pictures, summer holiday... nice floral arrangements... random kids etc. Hardly needed to be standing in front of anybody for that. So I politely nudged him and asked him to move. But as he had climed over a rope to get even nearer to the action (the rope that's there to mark off the area beyond which you shouldn't go) he tripped up in the darkness and fell. Served him right. His wife just glared at me though as it was clearly unfair of me to ask him to move out of the way when he wasn't even watching the DC!! confused

mistermakersgloopyglue Tue 17-Dec-13 19:52:09

Argh, this sort of thing gives me the rage big time!

However it's not just restricted to school plays. I HATE it when people talk while others are talking eg. During meetings or when you are on a course and people start packing away and getting up before the speaker has finished. Or a few times I went to baby rhyme type classes and parents just sit there talking while the poor woman at the trot is trying to lead the session.


mewmeow Tue 17-Dec-13 19:53:15

Haha surroundedbyblondes that's funny, got what he deserved really wink

I don't know it's just a play at the end of the day isn't it? I wouldn't talk through it, but I think a bit of baby/toddler noise is to be expected surely?! Always was when I used to do mine years ago. There's a limit though obviously.

storynanny Tue 17-Dec-13 21:45:47

Actually all of what you are posting about has become " normal". Ive just finished supply teaching for the term and have been involved in several nativities over the last 2 weeks.
It now seems normal for the audience to ......
Talk throughout
Stand up blocking views of others
Take phone calls
Call out to their child during the play
Walk up to their child during the performance to check they are ok
Let toddlers run around noisily getting the way of the "action" ( no one expects them to be silent by the way)
Continue to stay in the hall when their baby is crying loudly and persistently (normal baby behaviour I know, but not to go to the back or out of earshot of the poor child trying to remember what to say next is so unfair)
Take photos and videos after being asked not to until the end ( good reason for that or it wouldnt have been requested)

I wish these parents could witness the "backstage " preparations that have to go on for even the most simplest and basic of nativity plays. Teachers dont expect dead silence during the play, but it is such a shame that the hard work of the children is not properly appreciated because of the rude audience. Adults who should know better. You couldnt make it up.
If you enjoyed the play this week, do say so to the teachers. It will make their day.

MissBetseyTrotwood Tue 17-Dec-13 21:54:02


Talking, waving phones/video cams high in the air for the whole performance so it blocks the view of people behind etc drive me mad.

I was at a termly achievement assembly on Friday where two mums sat and chatted the whole way through (except for the bit where their daughters were on stage). I even asked them to be quiet and they carried on.

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