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AIBU to think my sister is taking the mobile phone house "ban" too far?

(60 Posts)
PinkHat1 Tue 17-Dec-13 09:40:27

We're going to my sister's house for Christmas (Christmas Eve to Boxing day) and she called me to say that they have introduced a new house rule of no mobile phones being turned on in the house. She has 2 kids (7 and 10) each with a mobile and her husband has an iPad and BlackBerry for work. She says that to try and get some proper family time, phones and tablets must be switched off over Christmas. I understand her point, but think she's being a little extreme. I don't have kids but do have an iPad and iPhone... I told her that I thought her new "house rule" was going a bit far, but she said it is no different than me asking everyone to take their shoes off in my house (which I do). I've been thinking about this for a few days now and it's starting to bug me. Can I just refuse?

GeekInThePink Tue 17-Dec-13 18:55:32

Agree with her and make regular trips to the bathroom to check phone if you must?

It's fine, honestly!

Ifcatshadthumbs Tue 17-Dec-13 18:59:02

I think anyone who gives their 7 year old a mobile phone has no business telling others what they can and can't do with theirs <judgy and don't care>

CSIJanner Tue 17-Dec-13 19:03:54

Does your sister object to your handing out her LL to friends etc to contact you over the Christmas period/on Christmas Day? If no, YABU.

If yes, DSis-IBU.

Having said that, if the children are in bed, does she still object to mobiles being off (family time)? I wold object to no mobile for 24 hours constant

AphraBane Tue 17-Dec-13 19:06:44

I think it's a great idea and entirely reasonable to ask people to refrain from using the phone in company for the entire period of two whole days. But it's none of her business what you do when alone in your room (providing it's legal, of course wink)

Ifcatshadthumbs Tue 17-Dec-13 19:09:39

Although that said I would never text people or make phone call when I'm at other people's houses and I only answer my mobile in company if I think it is important.

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights Tue 17-Dec-13 19:10:26

How bloody rude of her to treat you as though you don't have any manners and need telling!

If you had children with phones I could just about understand her saying that 'we have told our two they aren't to use their phones during dinner or constantly over Christmas, would you mind very much letting your know that's what we have done so ours don't feel too put out?' but you don't - she's being rude.

I'd ask her if she wants us to come or not and if she does then to stop dictating like a twat to two adults.

If she has a problem with her DH she needs to discuss it with him - like an adult. If she has a problem with her 7 & 10 year olds having phones then she needs to deal with it - like a parent. None of this requires you to do anything.

She is acting like a complete twat.

Ifcatshadthumbs Tue 17-Dec-13 19:16:47

This reminds of when I worked in a shop and the manager waved a box under my nose and told me he was confiscating all staff's mobile phones during working hours.

I pointed out that my phone was in my car (no lockers or safe place to leave it inside) and that as a grown woman in her 30's I don't need to have my possessions conficated like a naughty school girl and that if other members of staff were using their phones on the shop floor then he should address it with them directly. He went of with his little box and blush

friday16 Tue 17-Dec-13 19:19:25

I confess, I'd tell my relatives to get stuffed and find somewhere else to do Christmas.

My parents don't have, and never have had, a television. They're not making a big deal out of it, and these days they take advantage of having a free license (over 75) and watch not only iPlayer (doesn't need a license) but occasionally live TV (strictly speakingdoes) on their laptops. I'm to this day not entirely clear what their objection is: I think it's just that they've never quite got around to it, and every year that goes by without doing anything about it reinforces the position.

However, when I was a child, I recall relatives point blank refusing to visit at Christmas (my parents lived far enough from their respective families that any visit required at least one overnight stay) because they wanted to see the Morecombe and Wise Christmas Special or whatever. Pre VHS, pre-iPlayer: if you missed it, you'd missed it. I think they had a point: you're entitled to play "my house, my rules", but that doesn't mean that anyone else has to play it with you.

The same goes for people who are ostentatiously tee-total, alcoholic, don't eat until 11pm, turn the generator off and go to bed at 7pm, insist that everyone arrives in fancy-dress, want to debate the merits of the second Vienna School with everyone bringing an essay to discuss and a prepared piece to play on the provided musical instruments: you're entitled to be eccentric, but you're not entitled to be offended if people don't want to spend Christmas with you.

thebody Tue 17-Dec-13 20:23:45

I hope she gets less controlling as her kids get older or she's in for some mega battles with teens.

worse she's not teaching them self control or manners or appropriate behaviour. banning is lazy parenting and bizarre to you as adults.

Ruffcat Tue 17-Dec-13 20:46:03

So you dh isn't allowed to call any of him family over Christmas. I'd refuse

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