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why do some women look you up and down?

(73 Posts)
fridgealwaysfull Mon 16-Dec-13 19:03:13

Went to a friend's party on Saturday and wore a smart bodycon black dress, I felt I looked good but my confidence took a blow when I noticed a friend looked me up and down, checking me out from top to bottom. Why do a lot of women do this?

snowed Mon 16-Dec-13 20:07:36

I bet you looked much better than Kate Moss Tabliope

Salmotrutta Mon 16-Dec-13 20:07:52

If it makes someone feel uneasy or awkward then it's rude.

End of story. If you must do it at least say "What lovely shoes" or something.

Don't leave people feeling embarrassed.

TooExtraImmatureCheddar Mon 16-Dec-13 20:10:56

I do this. I am terribly nosy and also v interested in clothes and shoes, so if I see eg a nice pair of shoes I want to see the whole outfit and see what it's being worn with. I actually can't help myself - my eyes automatically flick up and down to take in the whole picture. I like watching people to get ideas about nice clothes, for one thing, and my hair is crap atm - cut it myself at roughly 4 monthly intervals - and I'm considering lashing out on a proper haircut and I'm looking for inspiration.

I'm not saying I never judge, but mostly it's a fact-finding exercise. If someone is close enough to compliment then I frequently do - eg strangers in the toilets, or colleagues at the fridge, but you can't compliment people walking past you in the street very easily.

TooExtraImmatureCheddar Mon 16-Dec-13 20:11:38

And I would never do it to a friend without saying 'I love your dress/shoes/hair'.

snowed Mon 16-Dec-13 20:13:25

I don't want to be looked up and down and appraised. I'm not that into fashion so it's probably negative appraisal, which people don't hide well, and which I can do without. I go to parties to talk to nice people, not to demonstrate any fashion sense!

SolemnHour Mon 16-Dec-13 20:14:01

I always notice what women are wearing and if I'm looking someone up and down its because they look good or im seeing how they combine the look I'd hate people to think I thought negatively of them

Or you could be getting checked out because your hot and they dont realise they are doing it

susiedaisy Mon 16-Dec-13 20:14:02

I tend to look people up and down when they either look fab/gorgeous or awful/weird. Think I do it automatically tbh!

harriet247 Mon 16-Dec-13 20:16:33

I do this! But its only ever if someone looks particularly good and I always say ahhh you look amazing and give a big squeeze

KatnipEvergreen Mon 16-Dec-13 20:18:51

I think some people don't realise they do it. Have had it done to me, I wonder if I do it to others without realising!

I am totally obsessed with love shoes, so I have a habit of looking at people's shoes, especially at parties as they're likely to be wearing nice ones. This could probably be misconstrued as looking someone up and down - I'm really not, I just have to look down (admittedly not very far <short-arse>) to the shoes then back up to their face to talk to them!

grumpyoldbat Mon 16-Dec-13 21:48:58

I always assume they're disgusted by me. I try to ignore it but it does get me down.

strictlovingmum Mon 16-Dec-13 22:10:32

I would like to think it is because she liked what you were wearing(your dress), last sunday we had a family occasion in a rather swanky London restaurant, I wore a rather unusual and intricate coat as we entered dining room woman at the table we passed by looked at me head to toe.
Some half an hour later as I was coming back from the ladies, she actually waited in the foyer and stopped me, apologising and asking politely where did the coat come from, adding she absolutely love itgrinblush

VonHerrBurton Mon 16-Dec-13 22:38:01

European cities - Paris, anywhere Italian (especially!) Madrid are just unbelievably brazen about it. People have almost stopped, put hand on hip, then done a top to toe, full on STARE.

Im not mega stylish or drop dead gorgeous like I used to be either. I find it really embarrassing and don't know what to do when it happens. It certainly doesn't look in the slightest bit friendly, admiring or anything else positive. Im not fat, not thin, not overly tall...

Am I over-thinking it? Yes, probably smile !!!

Changebagsregeneratedgladrags Mon 16-Dec-13 22:41:48

I think I do it when someone looks goooood. But to say so would sound pervy seeing as I had just leered at their dress.

2Tinsellytocare Mon 16-Dec-13 22:43:25

I know im looking good when my daughter says 'Wow mummy you look like the pink chipette' the highest compliment. You can tell the difference between a bitchy look and a complimentery one and yes tou would expect a poaitive follow up comment. When a friend is looking good I would always tell them

Sleepwhenidie Mon 16-Dec-13 22:44:25

I try and give the starer the benefit of the doubt - that they've been caught being a little obvious about admiring your dress or and if they smile back/pay a compliment then this is most likely the case. If you don't get that kind of reaction though, they are obviously being condescending or bitchy, then I just tend to shrug and pity them that they feel the need to think themself somehow superior to a stranger/acquaintance.

Frostybean Mon 16-Dec-13 23:02:14

I hate it when women do this. Very bad manners. If you want to study what someone is wearing, do it while they are speaking to someone else and not looking at you. To blatantly look someone up and down indicates that you are more interested in their clothes than you are in them. Very unnerving imo.

rabbitlady Tue 17-Dec-13 00:12:44

they fancy you.
looked back at them. have a really good, slow look. watch them colour and move away.

lookatmybutt Tue 17-Dec-13 01:02:19

Oh my god! Someone with eyes that work looked at me. With their eyes!

I can honestly say I only do it when someone is looking fab and I usually follow it up with a 'wow, you look fab!'

You can usually tell when someone else is thinking mean thoughts from the expression on their face. My mum is queen of the sneery up and down look, as were a couple of my old work colleagues. One in particular could be really weird about it and would come out with some rather odd comments along with the look.

NearTheWindmill Tue 17-Dec-13 08:23:00

I don't consciously do it but usually it's complimentary. I must confess one of my closest friend's husbands has left her for a 32 year old (we are early/mid 50's) and I did see the little bitch young lady recently and she knew who I was and I managed to scan her from top to bottom whilst catching her eye and managed to do it silently and then turned away. That sounds incredibly nasty but she has hardly covered her self in glory.

2Tinsellytocare Tue 17-Dec-13 12:10:02

Ohh im 32 and its given me a boost to hear someone of the same age being described as 'young lady'

musicismylife Tue 17-Dec-13 12:51:09

I have a work colleague who does this every time I go into their office hmm

She is sat facing the door and when I go in, she turns around, looks me up and down and carries on with her business. IT IS WEIRD.

It's fucking creepy, as she never says hello or anything.

Buddhagirl Tue 17-Dec-13 13:18:38


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