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why do some women look you up and down?

(73 Posts)
fridgealwaysfull Mon 16-Dec-13 19:03:13

Went to a friend's party on Saturday and wore a smart bodycon black dress, I felt I looked good but my confidence took a blow when I noticed a friend looked me up and down, checking me out from top to bottom. Why do a lot of women do this?

Bumblequeen Mon 16-Dec-13 19:34:51

There is glancing and there is staring.

Some women are not even discreet with it. I look with discretion unless it is a friend/acquaintance in which case I would say they look good.

A mother at dd's school made me feel very uncomfortable today. I smiled, she looked me up and down with a straight face and turned around to speak to someone sad

EmpireBiscuit Mon 16-Dec-13 19:38:11

My 10mo DS has an incredible knack of making me doubt my outfit - the master of the disparaging up and down look!

GirlWithTheDirtyShirt Mon 16-Dec-13 19:38:26

I think I do this. I'm a nosey cow.

In fact, I even nudged my mate at work today but mainly because we've been banging on about finding nice black city shorts for ages and someone in our office was wearing some. Turned out they are not at all appropriate for the office.

MisguidedHamwidge Mon 16-Dec-13 19:39:26

I think the other person is checking out your figure to see how you compare to them (in my experience it's usually quite vain, image-conscious types of women that do it). It's as if they are thinking "Does she look better than me?".

It happened to me a lot when I was younger & very slim but it doesn't happen now I'm older & quite a bit fatter grin

A woman looking you up & down & giving you a compliment/asking about your outfit is completely different.

Salmotrutta Mon 16-Dec-13 19:39:45

It depends how it's done :-

If it's done in a slow "taking you from the feet up" (as we say round these parts smile) then it's being sneery and unpleasant. Very rude angry

If it's a sort of quick glance at your shoes/dress then it's admiring

ImaginativeNewName Mon 16-Dec-13 19:41:32

I check out people's bodies if they are wearing something revealing. But I hope I'm not that obvious. grin

sosooootired Mon 16-Dec-13 19:42:35

I'm a starer too and feel as though I'm having a friendly nose but as a sufferer of 'bitchy resting face' I probably come across badly too... she may have been thinking kind thoughts about your dress but unfortunate not to have a face that transmits them..

snowed Mon 16-Dec-13 19:43:09

Because they are rude.

It's impolite to make other people feel uncomfortable by staring at them and judging them, even if it's positive.

Far nicer to go and say hello and pay them a compliment smile

AutumnFire Mon 16-Dec-13 19:44:50

I tend to do this without even realising when I'm in daydream mode, tired, or just not really paying attention to what I'm doing.

Its only ever in an admiring way, when I see something that strikes me as particularly stylish or beautiful on someone, and I'd liken it to the long glance most of us probably automatically give pictures in a magazine that attract us.

Occasionally I realise what I'm doing while I'm doing it, or catch their eye and then I feel so embarrassed I tend to look away, which probably comes across all wrong. I'd love to have the confidence to say something but I just don't.

meganorks Mon 16-Dec-13 19:46:54

Is it more or less disturbing when your 2 year old does it to you? Put a new top on one day that was brighter thanks anything else I own and that was dd's response!

queryremelatonin Mon 16-Dec-13 19:47:33

Someone asked me where a product was in a shop where I was browsing once. When I said I didn't work there she looked me up and down a couple of times, presumably because I was wearing black and so were the staff. It seemed like she thought I might just crack and assist her if she put enough disbelief in her stare grin

BlueSkySunnyDay Mon 16-Dec-13 19:48:20

I used to have a friend who used to say "oh my god did you notice the shoes she was wearing with that dress" which my answer was generally "no" as unless someone looked stunning I wouldnt really notice. So if I were to do it to you it would be because I liked the what you were wearing and was contemplating which bits of your look would suit me ....bodycon dress would be inadvisable for my rotund shape grin

MarshaBrady Mon 16-Dec-13 19:50:13

Yes if someone takes the time to check someone out, then they should throw in the compliment too.

MissBeehiving Mon 16-Dec-13 19:51:45

I absolutely hate those appraising looks. I love clothes and regularly comment on things people wear (positively) but I don't feel the need to do the up and down thing - it's too calculating.

AngelinaCongleton Mon 16-Dec-13 19:51:54

God I think I do this without thinking. It's usually when I admire what they are wearing.

NewtRipley Mon 16-Dec-13 19:52:42

I hate this. Yes, they may be thinking nice things, but it's not the way to do it.

The "look up and down" is different, IMO from an admiring look. It is often intended to be insulting.

Or it comes over that way - so bloody well stop it!

manicinsomniac Mon 16-Dec-13 19:53:51

bluesky why would you notice something really good but not something really bad? Surely either both or neither extremes would draw your attention. Whether you show that you noticed or not is entirely different.

mrsjay Mon 16-Dec-13 19:54:11

I think I do this sometimes i don't mean to be mean or anything i am usually thinking oh that dress is nice or hasn't she got nice hair, the last time was a friend of mine and she is usually in jeans and hair up just ordinary looking and we were out and she looked stunning I probably checked her out for to long, blush

Echocave Mon 16-Dec-13 19:55:40

I tend to think its a bit negative when people do this. I used to have a very glamorous boss who did this - I'm quite sure she wasn't thinking how great I looked!

MrsTittleMouse Mon 16-Dec-13 19:56:40

I sometimes do this by accident. blush
It is always admiring.

Poppylovescheese Mon 16-Dec-13 19:57:34

I do this all the time but it is definitely in a complimentary way but I am too shy to follow through with a compliment

Tabliope Mon 16-Dec-13 19:58:17

Kate Moss did it to me in the lobby of a London hotel in the early 1990s. I had a £1 T shirt on and had a Next handbag. It definitely wasn't friendly grin. More like what the hell is the likes of you doing in this hotel.

mrsjay Mon 16-Dec-13 20:00:54

Kate Moss probably thought you were a heffer and went to bleach her eyes after she say you in a quid t shirt grin

BlueSkySunnyDay Mon 16-Dec-13 20:01:53

My friend was one of those who was quite bitchy and its not really in my nature manic. Obviously I notice if someone is looking really hideous i.e. mahoosive slightly odd parent from school who bent over in her short skirt in front of me...sending me into horrified shock. But on the whole I wouldnt notice a pair of ugly shoes and comment like my friend did - I think she was more into fashion and opinionated than me (remembering one rather long rant she had about gladiator sandals)

If it was a close friend it may say "wow you look nice" then id probably spend a week kicking myself as id feel that in saying that I had inferred that she generally didnt look nice grin

SantasTessTackle Mon 16-Dec-13 20:03:47

I do this, and blatantly too. I prefer to do it blatantly because it's admiration iyswim. If I love your hair say, I'll instantly then lol may nails, dress, shoes, bag.

Though i always give a big smile to show my appreciation.

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