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To not have made Dp his dinner?

(55 Posts)
sisterelephant Tue 10-Dec-13 23:16:50

My Dp is a very picky eater and can be very wasteful at times.

I was bought up knowing the value of every meal and drink, anything we didn't want to eat would be waiting for us at a later time. Due to this, I like to make enough food for one/two meals so food doesn't get wasted. Dp is often 'not in the mood' for some foods, doesn't feel like finishing off snacks/bread when they are about to go out of date and often leaves unfinished drinks around the house.

He has early starts at work so when he comes home he sometimes has a nap -no problem with me- but sometimes when I make dinner he'll stay asleep after numerous attempts to wake him and his dinner will end up wasted.

So tonight my sister was over and he had a nap. I was going to make very simple bangers and mash for dinner and decided to make it when we were almost ready to eat, reheated sausages are rank. Put the potatoes in the oven around 7 and woke Dp up at 8ish as I was putting ds to bed. He said he was still tired so wanted to sleep so I left him. I'd been snacking all day do didn't feel particularly hungry so didn't bother make dinner at all.

He's just woken up now asking where his dinner is and is moaning that he's starving! I told him its his own fault for having a very long nap, he can make himself beans on toast.


BitOfFunWithSanta Tue 10-Dec-13 23:19:31

Of course you are not being unreasonable.

MistAllChuckingFrighty Tue 10-Dec-13 23:20:37

Unless you are paid a salary by him to be his personal on-call chef, then YANBU

ChrisMooseMickey Tue 10-Dec-13 23:21:11

YANBU. Wasting food winds me up. In fact, it may possibly be my biggest source of irritation. <glares at DP>

AShowerOfBastards Tue 10-Dec-13 23:21:46

Nope I don't think you are, although I guess if you'd said you were making it he might have been understandably disappointed he is still presumably capable of making himself something else. And I'd be annoyed at the regular falling asleep if it meant he wasn't pulling his weight and cooking your dinner sometimes too.

ineedanexcuse Tue 10-Dec-13 23:24:17

Surely there is a jacket potato already cooked ? He could have that with cheese n beans.

But yes. You are not his servant and he can learn to sort himself out if he is asleep when the food is served.

CremeEggThief Tue 10-Dec-13 23:25:29

Definitely not unreasonable!

optimusic Tue 10-Dec-13 23:31:17

How early is early?

sisterelephant Tue 10-Dec-13 23:32:07

Ok thanks all!

I keep thinking I should have just made it in case, but the many times I've made dinner and he's not eaten it makes me feel a little like 'Serves you right!!'

He is so very wasteful it drives me insane!, I'm always shoving food in his face to prevent me eating it all so we don't waste it! I don't eat white bread and the amount of half loaves I've thrown out gets me mad.

sisterelephant Tue 10-Dec-13 23:32:23


WilsonFrickett Tue 10-Dec-13 23:35:41

YANBU to not cook food based round his nap times. However I do think you may generally allow your own issues with food to get in the way of your relationship. So your DP is picky - so what? So he doesn't like leftovers or eating to sell by dates? That's not U either, but I suspect you think it is.

sisterelephant Tue 10-Dec-13 23:40:02


I agree it bothers me more than him but I do all the cooking, and he rarely likes to try new things. So it means I cook 2 different dinners or eat pretty much the same thing day in day out.

Sunflower49 Wed 11-Dec-13 00:24:40

YANBU, tht would annoy me.However, your arrangements with food are not working for both of you.
Perhaps be better to cook and freeze stuff that can work, if you want to provide his meals then when he's ready to eat he can get something fairly quick(Or you can make it if you're free and want to ). make things that aren't so bad reheated (perhaps he doesn't mind reheated food so much?

livinginawinterwonderland Wed 11-Dec-13 07:07:32

Why is there so much waste? Are you buying too much food for both of you to consume by the sell-by dates? I think that's more of the issue than whether you cooked him dinner last night or not.

You need to buy food that can be frozens/stored in cupboards with a long use-by date. I don't blame him for not wanting to eat stuff just because it's going out of date. If I'm not in the mood for something, I won't eat it and I would resent another adult trying to make me eat it, tbh. If something's going out of date, cook it into a dish that can be frozen, or freeze it. Most things will last way past their sell-by date, btw, especially bread. Stick it in the fridge and if you use it for toast, it'll be fine so long as there's no visible mould.

Mutley77 Wed 11-Dec-13 07:11:39

When we didn't eat much bread I used to freeze it on buying and defrost slices as needed. It tastes much nicer than bread that's been sitting around in the bread bin for a couple of days.

paxtecum Wed 11-Dec-13 07:17:50

Does he start work at 5.00am or get up at 5.00am?

Orangesarenottheonlyfruit Wed 11-Dec-13 07:27:32

YANBU and also I think picky eaters are possibly the most irritating thing in the world. I can't bear it. if I'm cooking then people can either eat it or not. I'm not making a variety of meals, especially for adults!

dustarr73 Wed 11-Dec-13 07:36:58

I dont make dp his dinner either.Too much moaning over things,never happy withwhat i gave him.So i just dont make it for him anymore.Also i think you are buying to much bread as its going to waste.At teh end of the day thats the way you were brought up,your dp can make his own choices about which foods he wants to eat.

ZillionChocolate Wed 11-Dec-13 07:37:54

Does he really expect you to sit in the kitchen waiting to leap into action when he decides he wants to eat? YANBU

I agree with the suggestions of trying to manage food better. I freeze 4 slices of bread in a sandwich bag at a time. It defrosts fine on the worktop/radiator.

MomOfTwoGirls2 Wed 11-Dec-13 09:31:58

DH is vegetariane and I'm not. I cook for him less than half the time. I cook his meals in bulk, some for today, tomorrow and often one or two portions for the freezer. And if he doesn't fancy what's there, he has to organise his own food.

normalishdude Wed 11-Dec-13 09:39:01

depends on what expectations had been set beforehand.

yummumto3girls Wed 11-Dec-13 09:46:38

I think your DH is being selfish and rude. Yes he has an early start but does that really mean he needs to come home and sleep all that time, surely he isn't tired enough to go to bed at a decent time? He's missing out in family time and helping with DC's. Personally I would choose a time for the family to eat together and if he isn't awake he goes without. He needs to sort his sleep pattern out!

MerryFuckingChristmas Wed 11-Dec-13 09:53:06

"expectations" ? hmm

HSMMaCM Wed 11-Dec-13 09:53:59

Make batches of shepherds pie, curry, soup etc and freeze. He can then cook what he wants from the freezer when he wakes. I agree with freezing bread. If he only eats half a loaf, freeze the other half.

revivingshower Wed 11-Dec-13 11:55:34

Well if you always do him a dinner when he wakes up I can see why he would be expecting one. So if you want to change the way you do it that would be a good idea, but you should let him know in advance.

I agree with others who said make big batches of things he likes and freeze individual portions in microwavable bowls. He can then just nuke when he wakes. It does take a little longer from frozen but this will mean he chooses what he fancies. He can always have a snack while it cooks. On his days off you can do something fresh for a change.

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