To think that this is not normal(19 Posts)
I am really struggling with my personality, disorganised nature and general memory "issues" and I'm starting to wonder if there's actually something wrong with me.
I have all these great ideas and intentions but I never get round to doing anything. I made a list of activities to do one a day in December and we haven't done any of them yet Either I've forgotten totally or I've remembered but been too tired or thought about it and then forgotten moments later. Or I've thought about it and then thought "What's the point? We've missed half of them." I do it with parenting situations as well, like I know how I want to deal with some behaviour of DS's but then when it happens I end up shouting and feel bad, and then of course I have the "perfect example" all worked out in my head ready to beat myself up with.
DP has conversations with me four or five times but I react like (and genuinely feel) it's the first time we've discussed that thing. (I very, very much doubt he's gaslighting me, BTW!) He gets frustrated about it. I also have a problem that I will forget I've made a decision, especially if I change my mind, for example, I think "My train ticket's about to run out, I must buy a new monthly pass" and then realise it's only a week until I'm on holiday so it would be better to buy a weekly one instead. Then by the time I'm at the station I forget I've decided this and buy the monthly one and am then annoyed that I've wasted the money. I can remember stuff from months or years ago in minute detail, though. In fact most of my memories are extremely detailed, yet I can't remember a conversation that I supposedly had yesterday or where I put my keys when I came into the house.
Several times a day on my days off from work I feel paralysed in a total panic wondering whether I've forgotten that I was actually working that day (I have actually done this when I worked in a place where my hours changed week to week). I wake up in the night afraid that I've forgotten to set my alarm or I've set it for the wrong time (I've done this too). I have totally forgotten arrangements with friends and/or remembered them last-minute, although mostly I don't bother making them because the thought of doing so is too exhausting, which is obviously affecting my social life. I've had diaries, calendars, apps, to-do lists but I forget to look at them! If I set an alarm I tend to ignore it.
I feel like being in my brain is like swimming through treacle most of the time. I end up doing something really addictive to avoid it, currently it's internet, but in the past I've blocked myself from internet and it's just transferred to shit TV, phone games, reading books, or in the absence of anything at all, I will just fall asleep at every given opportunity.
It's really getting me down! It's not normal, is it?!
(I'm going to bed, just in case people wonder why I'm not replying tonight.)
Not normal. I felt like that when I had bad anaemia - have you been checked out for possible medical issues?
Some forgetfulness is normal but that sounds excessive. How long have you been like this? Have you talked to the gp about it?
I was a lot like this, still am a bit. Turns out my thyroid had given up. Have you had blood tests op?
Thyroid? I genuinely thought I was losing my mind before it was diagnosed.
See your GP.
Contact your GP, you are right this is not normal. I have experienced similar and (possibly not related) I was found to have extremely high blood pressure. I am on medication now and although not perfect its much more controlled. My memory is still bad but general organisation has got better and the treacle thinking and mammoth effort involved in completing simple tasks has lessened. I also experience far less migraines now.
Like someone else said, some forgetfulness is normal and I do some of the things you mention because I'm not quite paying attention. But I think it would be very unwise to dismiss this as the same and there could definitely be something physical going on. Go to a GP. Immediately.
I don't have any answers for you, Bertie, but I wanted to post to say you're not alone. You've just put into words everything that I would say about myself...if I'd been able to think about it and concentrate on it for long enough to join everything up like you have done .
I saw the doctor about 6 weeks ago with a very painful knee, and he said he thought it might need surgery. I tried (private) physio first, as I couldn't bear surgery, but I haven't done any of the exercises he's given me, despite getting into bed every night and remembering them, and thinking 'I'll do it tomorrow'.
I keep emails and texts from people for ages, intending to write them a really lovely, long reply, but never get round to it. It's my birthday next week, and I'd love a party, which I've almost planned, but I've only invited 3 people, and it's now too late to ask others, as I found out yesterday when I texted another friend and got quite a cold answer. When I looked back, I found the last time we communicated wasn't about a month ago, as I thought, it was over a year ago, and I was supposed to get back to her about meeting up the following week, which I evidently never did. I'm so sorry, and it makes me so sad that I've upset and offended her with my thoughtlessness.
I, too, make long lists of plans, and have loads of brilliant ideas for the DCs, only to have weeks go by without doing it. With me, it's practicing maths and writing at home. DS1 is nearly finishing Primary school, and I've intending to do regular work with him all the way through. I just feel so shitty, thinking abut how many good intentions have gone by the wayside.
It would be nice if we could help support each other, Bertie, but the truth is, I'd probably intend to, but not do it in the end .
I'm willing to accept anaemia as a reason, theghost, but my bloods always come back 'normal', and I regularly start vitamins, but tail off taking them within a couple of weeks, so I'd struggle. Having said that, I took a bottle of Floradix a few months ago and it made me feel fantastic (I managed to remember to take it every day!), so maybe that would be a start!
Definitely try to rule out physcial reasons first - I was like this and had severe sleep apnoea.
I know exactly what you mean! I have no suggestions as I struggle with the same thing, but you're not alone.
Would definitely recommend you see your GP it may be a medical issue it must be hard for you right now OP.
Sabra, can't remember the meaning exactly so hope this is correct but it's when someone plays mind games to make you feel like you might be in the wrong or losing your memory e.g. completely denying something they have done in an argument or saying that they have told you about something over and over when they haven't.
Oh, gosh, it's been years, honestly. Most definitely since DS was born and possibly since before then as well - I've definitely had the getting frustrated at myself thing since I was about 14 or 15. So 5-10 years. That's RIDICULOUS.
I had blood tests ages ago, probably about a year ago (didn't realise it had been that long! ) and it showed up that I was low on iron, ferritin and vitamin D. Took tablets which were prescribed, the vitamin D ones seemed to help with an annoying leg/hip pain that I'd never got around to getting sorted, and I think the iron helped a bit (I didn't want to fall asleep all the time and the treacle brain was much less) but didn't totally fix it, and anyway I never got around to renewing the prescription. I am taking some iron supplements now which I bought from a shop but they aren't helping. But then my old GP said that he thought shop-bought supplements weren't strong enough.
I know thyroid was tested when I had the tests - for hyper and hypo, but it came up with nothing. I have since moved country so I think I'll probably have to be tested again anyway.
amistillsexy, let's not have a support thread (I would forget to post on it too ) but maybe we'll be able to give each other a friendly/exhausted wave if we pass on threads! My best friends are the kind who don't get offended when we forget to talk for a year. In fact we usually laugh about it together. It is lonely, though - I like to spend time with people and find it makes me feel more alive and energised when I do but I don't have the energy, foresight or planning skills to sort it out.
As for the gaslighting comment - I have spent too long on the relationship boards! It's a tactic by an abusive person where they tell you you've had conversations you haven't or try to convince you your memory of an event isn't true and it makes you feel like you're going mad. My ex did this, actually, which is probably why it's taken me ages to notice that it's not a normal state of mind to be in.
Definitely not high blood pressure, in fact mine veers towards being too low, although I suppose that could be a potential cause too. Hmm. Now I have to figure out how to actually make a doctor's appointment in foreign country...
My DH had memory problems, brain in a fog etc. - turned out to be extremely low folic acid. Doctors often don't check folic acid in routine blood tests - the only people they seem to worry about with folic acid levels are pregnant women and research on the effects of low folate are woeful.
low B vitamins can cause brain fog. But I don't think OP thought her B's were low when tested.
I feel like this too. I am famous in my family for my amazing memory, I can remember conversations I had years ago, word for word. Now I can't remember anything. I started a course in October and I've hardly done any work for it. When I do force myself I forget what I've read the instant I've finished. I literally can't retain anything in my head.
I will try some stronger multivitamins and get the thyroid blood tests, but my doctor leaned towards thinking I had an anxiety problem rather than a physical one.
Hope you find an answer bertie it's horrible isn't it?
Glad you are going to get a doctor's appointment.
Also worth checking your home, is the boiler okay and regularly serviced, is it an older apartment or house with older plumbing or paintwork?
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.