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to be annoyed that dp has bought me jewelry for Christmas?

(112 Posts)
bluecheeseforbreakfast Mon 09-Dec-13 15:23:58

I think I probably am being unreasonable but I am holding out hope that I'm not.

Dp has his birthday just before Christmas, we don't usually give each other much at Christmas mainly because we travel abroad so the idea of filling up our luggage allowance with gifts to give each other seems daft ( we do take lots of gifts for my family who we stay with over Christmas and we are given gifts whilst abroad.)

This year we decided that I'd "give" dp a new bit of our he needs for a sport he plays as his Christmas gift, I vaguely mentioned I'd like to look for a new camera in the sales as my Christmas gift.

Today we went shopping. I asked if I could go shopping by myself to pick up a few bits and bobs. Dp looked after 1 year old ds. I went to pick up some surprises for dp's birthday, I'm giving him 12 things from me and ds ( as dp has been a dad for 12 months) they are things like his favorite chocolate bar, a bottle of his favorite spirit ( small bottle) painting by ds, cosy jumper as dp is on paternity leave after Christmas a framed photo of dp and ds. All cheap things and lots of them are things we would buy anyway.

When I met up with dp he told me "I got you a present aswell!" then gave me a small bag with a jewelry shop name on it and a small box in it and asked me to put it in my bag.

I said to him that I hoped he had someone in mind who wore jewelry to give the jewelry to as it would be daft to give it to someone for example like me who never wears jewelry and can't see the point in having expensive easy to loose items.

Me and dp have shared finances so he has in effect spending our money on gift that he hasn't thought through. In our discussion he told me the jewelry cost 100 pounds. There would be so many lovely things that I'd enjoy for 100 pounds, there would be lots of options of things I would enjoy more for 15 pounds lush bath bomb, bottle of wine, box of chocolates and the promise to put ds to bed one night whilst I have a long hot bath if your reading dp

Aibu to be annoyed that dp has just spent money rather than time and energy to get me a present? I was happy with the no presents at Christmas, much happier than jewelry that I will never wear. I feel like dp doesn't know me at all.

Sparklymommy Mon 09-Dec-13 15:27:30

I can see your point but feel you may bu.

Perhaps it's an engagement ring? Perhaps it means a lot to him? You do sound a bit ungrateful.

livinginawinterwonderland Mon 09-Dec-13 15:29:46

YABU. It sounds lovely. Why does £100 on jewellery automatically mean he hasn't thought things through? confused

Maybe it's an enagement ring or a promise ring? I think you should wait and see what it is before acting ungrateful, tbh.

whatsthatcomingoverthehill Mon 09-Dec-13 15:32:12

I don't get what you mean by "just spent money rather than time and energy to get me a present?". Why is buying jewelry any less effort than the other things you mention? Maybe he's bored of buying the same old things for you and wanted to do something a bit different and romantic and special rather than a bottle of wine that you could have any day.

That it is something you won't want is a different matter. I get that. But surely you can just take it back? It just seems a bit ungrateful when it sounds like he has put some though in, you just don't like it.

shewhowines Mon 09-Dec-13 15:34:17

No I agree YANBU. Money is too precious to me, to waste on something I don't want or like. Can he take it back?

Tell him you appreciate the thought, but if he is going to spend that sort of money, you would like some input on what he buys.

My DH has never chosen anything of value for me, since the first few mistakes in the first year of our relationship green silk old ladies blouse anyone?

ElizabethBathory Mon 09-Dec-13 15:34:21

I see your point, but I'd guess he just wanted to get you something special that you weren't going to be expecting. I don't wear jewellery either, but DH used to buy me the odd bit of jewellery in the first couple of years we were together, because to him that was the (admittedly stereotypical) 'special' thing to buy me. You can't just assume he hasn't thought it through.

Monetbyhimself Mon 09-Dec-13 15:36:05

Vile man. LTB.

JeanSeberg Mon 09-Dec-13 15:40:59

How rude. I hope he slung the bag at you. How can you possibly know whether you like it or not before you've even seen it?

Hope you get the same reaction when you give him his 12 presents.

moogy1a Mon 09-Dec-13 15:44:56

Poor bloke buys you a gift and you have a go at him?
I hope he thinks the " festive" jumper is horrible and throws it back at you

moogy1a Mon 09-Dec-13 15:45:48

Fsorry, " cosy jumper".

Bowlersarm Mon 09-Dec-13 15:46:46


You sound a bit demanding OP!

CoffeeTea103 Mon 09-Dec-13 15:48:51

Yabu he shouldn't have bothered.

Oldandcobwebby Mon 09-Dec-13 15:49:04

YABU. And very rude.

trufflesnuffler Mon 09-Dec-13 15:50:19

At this rate it might end up with his mistress grin

HavantGuard Mon 09-Dec-13 15:52:32

I thought you meant he'd dropped a grand on something! £100 is hardly extravagant when it comes to jewellery.

Bue Mon 09-Dec-13 15:54:26

DH has form for doing this. He does put a lot of thought and money into gifts, but so often he goes "off list"!

CaptainTripps Mon 09-Dec-13 15:55:36

It's all relative. £100 to some folks might be someone else's £1000.

HavantGuard Mon 09-Dec-13 15:56:47

I could spend £12 or £1200 on jewellery for my mother and it would never leave the box. It's not her thing.

I can see why you'd be annoyed because he's spent a lump of both your money on something you don't want when there are lots of cheaper things you'd love.

HavantGuard Mon 09-Dec-13 15:58:48

True CaptainTripps. It just doesn't hit the 'what if I lost it' panic button for me.

Umlauf Mon 09-Dec-13 15:59:16

Yabu, even if you don't wear jewellery he probably thought it'd be nice to get you something he thought was beautiful and he'd like to see on his beautiful partner.

At least he didn't get you an epilator like mine did for my 21st

bluecheeseforbreakfast Mon 09-Dec-13 15:59:36

I think that jewelry can be a thoughtful present, but just not for me as I don't wear jewelry.

think I would be less annoyed if he gave it to me on Christmas day as a proper surprise instead of giving me the bag to carry.

His jumper isn't a Christmas jumper its just a casual jumper, dp does a practical job, his clothes are either work clothes or smart clothes, I thought he'd like a comfy everyday jumper to wear to toddler groups smile

JollySparklyGiant Mon 09-Dec-13 16:00:22

I would get him to take it back.

Sleepyfergus Mon 09-Dec-13 16:00:32

YABU. Talk about ungrateful. Perhaps he'll find your 12 gifts a bit meh and twee. But you wouldn't be hurt or upset.....would you?

HavantGuard Mon 09-Dec-13 16:00:37

It would be a bit like DH buying me a KitchenAid. I would cry.

bluecheeseforbreakfast Mon 09-Dec-13 16:02:11

We traditionally give modest Christmas presents in my family so 100 pounds is an expensive gift compared to all the other gifts I have received. If he had spent 1000 I would think he was having a midlife crisis.

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