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To be honest with my 2 year old from the beginning that Father Christmas/Santa isnt real

(136 Posts)
OHforDUCKSchristmascake Sun 08-Dec-13 20:25:50

My 6 year old asked today if it was the parents that put the presents under the tree because two people in his class had said so. I was trying to tread carefully, and thought he was asking if Father Christmas wasnt real.

I actually said the words 'not real' and he looked shocked and blank and told me he didnt understand what I was saying.

Turns out, he still believed in F.C, just that it was the parents that put the presents down because surely F.C doesnt have a sack big enough.

I know he is going to find out this or next year that the whole thing is a big fat lie and I dont like it. Its seemed worth it at the start but seeing his big wide worried eyes when I dared suggest that FC wasnt real made me feel pretty bad for him.

Im considering not going along with all the santa lies with my 2 year old, because he can just enjoy Christmas for what it is and have no nasty surprises on the way.

Is anyone here just honest with their kids from the start?

SomeDizzyWhore1804 Tue 10-Dec-13 22:16:31

I think it's a nice thing for children to believe and certainly wasn't traumatised by rumbling it wasn't true. I think all but the least understanding of children will understand why adults do it once they find out it's not real.

Fair play to my mum and dad though who had to come up with some stuff on the hop a few times. I remember being about 5 or 6 and asking why all my presents from Father Christmas ha tags written in my mums handwriting. Quick as a flash she said "he's a busy man, Dizzy, he hasn't got time to write all the tags. He sends them to me ahead of time and I write them for him" grin

Pilgit Tue 10-Dec-13 22:13:49

I have never subscribed to FC. I grew up knowing it was mythology and not real - my mum just didn't get it as she wasn't raised with it either so it just didn't occur to her to peddle the myth. As a result I have never really understood why people peddle the myth - but each to their own! I am sure a lot of you would accuse me of peddling a myth due to my Christian beliefs and the fact that we give presents to each other to honour Jesus's birthday fgrin! and that is your right. But I won't destroy a child's belief in FC either.

DownyEmerald Tue 10-Dec-13 22:05:31

Sorry, back late to this.
I was upset he didn't exist. I really really liked the whole idea. I don't remember being upset my parents lied to me.

Fleurdebleurgh Mon 09-Dec-13 11:52:01

My two dont think Santa is real and never really have.
I let them know exactly who pays for their presents and how long i have to work to buy each.
Some fat guy is not taking the glory away from my supreme present choosing.

Screamqueen Mon 09-Dec-13 11:30:08

My 11 year old DS seems to still believe, he has asked me this year because of what others are obviously saying and I just said something about Santa being real if he wanted him to be and we all need a bit of magic at Christmas. His justification for not doubting Santas existence is he remembers seeing his snowy prints in our house years ago, makes all the little things we have done for our boys so worth it!

OutragedFromLeeds Mon 09-Dec-13 00:27:14

'It's ok though...the tooth fairy's still real'

Thank God for that! wink grin

SantaIKnowHimIKnowHim Sun 08-Dec-13 23:39:36

IME Kids can deal with finding out the truth eventually and I don't think anyone is ever traumatised by the revelation.

Not commented on thread yet, but I was absolutely GUTTED when I asked my mum outright if Santa was real because some girl cowbag from school had told me he wasn't real.
So I naturally went home and asked my parents. To be told "no he's not real."
Could have cried? Make that DID Cry and run off in floods of tears to my bedroom. blush
Now I'm an adult and CANNOT do that to mine, they'll learn in their own time and come to their own conclusion! smile

WorraLiberty Sun 08-Dec-13 23:33:02

At least I fucking hope so

My teeth are getting loose with age and I don't have a decent retirement fund...

WorraLiberty Sun 08-Dec-13 23:31:13

Look, if I didn't say it someone would have exposed the truth...

It's ok though...the tooth fairy's still real fgrin

monicalewinski Sun 08-Dec-13 23:27:17

Won't you think of the Mumsnetters?

<clutches pearls>

lol fgrinfgrinfgrin

OutragedFromLeeds Sun 08-Dec-13 23:14:55

shock Worra you've just exposed all the myths of Mumsnet!!

Shame On You!

Won't you think of the Mumsnetters?

<clutches pearls>

WorraLiberty Sun 08-Dec-13 23:12:12

I really really do think the fraction of 'pissed off' children (once they've learnt the truth) is absolutely minuscule.

So if anyone is worried about it after reading all these MN threads, I'd say really please do not worry.

Ask yourself how many real life people you know who rant about P&C spaces, have random people 'sneering' at them for no reason, or find themselves being ogled/leered at/thrown out of places for breast feeding.

This should put it into some sort of real life perspective.

Merry Christmas fgrin

usualsuspect Sun 08-Dec-13 23:09:26

I don't think I know one child who was pissed off about finding out.

Most kids suss it out themselves.

tracypenisbeaker Sun 08-Dec-13 23:09:07


CailinDana Sun 08-Dec-13 23:04:44

I wasn't traumatised LBE just pissed off. My DS is quite similar to how I was as a child.

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 08-Dec-13 22:59:49

We're all adults on here and most of us were brought up with the Santa myth. Does anyone remember being traumatised? I certainly wasn't, it's just a happy memory.
Ds is 18 and he just gradually learned, he wasn't upset as he was assured he'd still get the same presents.
I think we overthink this.

Screamqueen Sun 08-Dec-13 22:50:00

Ooooh be careful outraged or you to will be accused of being aggressive by the OP fwinkfgrin!!!

OutragedFromLeeds Sun 08-Dec-13 22:43:43

grin There's some residual trauma there from my Disneyland trip.

CailinDana Sun 08-Dec-13 22:43:27

X post grin

monicalewinski Sun 08-Dec-13 22:43:19

Outraged fgrin

CailinDana Sun 08-Dec-13 22:40:52

I am tickled by the tiny french teenager (not literally).

SPsWantsCliffInHerStocking Sun 08-Dec-13 22:37:21


No idea why that made me laugh so much grin

CailinDana Sun 08-Dec-13 22:37:08

I tell white lies, yes. Not generally to people close to me though . Santa doesn't count as a white lie imo.

InTheRedCorner Sun 08-Dec-13 22:35:13

No one traumatised in this house. DD1 knows, DD2. Knows but still pretends and Dd3 is 5 and loving the whole thing.

Do or don't, I don't care. Same as I don't care how much you do or don't spend.

OutragedFromLeeds Sun 08-Dec-13 22:34:13

'In fact I'm not sure how harmless fun can be sabotaged.'

Really? Disneyland is harmless fun. The DC know it's not a real Mickey Mouse, but if someone marched up, tore his head off and went 'IT'S A TINY FRENCH TEENAGER, YOU IDIOTS!'. It would really ruin the harmless fun.

I would have thought it was fairly obvious. Like watching a 'making of' program before watching a film. It ruins the magic.

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