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To be honest with my 2 year old from the beginning that Father Christmas/Santa isnt real

(136 Posts)
OHforDUCKSchristmascake Sun 08-Dec-13 20:25:50

My 6 year old asked today if it was the parents that put the presents under the tree because two people in his class had said so. I was trying to tread carefully, and thought he was asking if Father Christmas wasnt real.

I actually said the words 'not real' and he looked shocked and blank and told me he didnt understand what I was saying.

Turns out, he still believed in F.C, just that it was the parents that put the presents down because surely F.C doesnt have a sack big enough.

I know he is going to find out this or next year that the whole thing is a big fat lie and I dont like it. Its seemed worth it at the start but seeing his big wide worried eyes when I dared suggest that FC wasnt real made me feel pretty bad for him.

Im considering not going along with all the santa lies with my 2 year old, because he can just enjoy Christmas for what it is and have no nasty surprises on the way.

Is anyone here just honest with their kids from the start?

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 08-Dec-13 20:29:19

Your kids, your decision. IME Kids can deal with finding out the truth eventually and I don't think anyone is ever traumatised by the revelation. It's just one of those rites of passage that means they've gone from gullible baby who believes anything you tell them, to a child that can appreciate a good myth if there are a few gifts at the end of it. 'Big fat lie' makes it sound malicious, which it isn't.

ICameOnTheJitney Sun 08-Dec-13 20:30:43

Oh not another thread about this. There are numerous. Why don't you look at those?

Screamqueen Sun 08-Dec-13 20:30:59

"big fat lie" here we go again...fhmm

SPsWantsCliffInHerStocking Sun 08-Dec-13 20:31:01

What cognito said

OHforDUCKSchristmascake Sun 08-Dec-13 20:31:25

Ha! Am I being precious? Perhaps I am.

This morning I felt exactly the same as you, but those eyes when I suggested he might not be real. Argh a knife through my black heart.

OHforDUCKSchristmascake Sun 08-Dec-13 20:32:46

Jesus Christ I didnt see any others, I didnt post to piss you off scream hmm and I didnt know this riled people.

So hide my thread?

I dunno. <shrugs>

monicalewinski Sun 08-Dec-13 20:33:01


I was quite nervous about how the whole finding out thing would affect mine. Somehow we got to last xmas with my oldest still believing (he obviously had his doubts and didn't broadcast at school that he still believed but he was reluctant to let it completely go iyswim) anyway, he was 10 last xmas, so pretty old really and I didn't expect to get that many years out of him.

Anyway, I've actually had 'grown up chats' with him all about it this year as he's 'in on the santa myth' for my youngest - I asked him how he felt about it all and how he felt to find out it was a lie and if he wished we'd never done it/if he felt a bit stupid etc.

His opinion is that santa made Christmas fun and magical (we're not religious at all) and he was glad that we'd done it - he says he'll do the same when he has children when he's grown up.

That's a child's perspective for you if that helps!

IamChristmas Sun 08-Dec-13 20:33:14


Moxiegirl Sun 08-Dec-13 20:33:27

I really play down the whole fc thing. Only the stocking presents are Santa and we don't make a meal of it, it just doesn't come naturally to me!

SPsWantsCliffInHerStocking Sun 08-Dec-13 20:35:02

I found out when I heard my mum and dad arguing late Christmas eve about who was meant to bring the Santa presents down. grin

I was harmed or traumatised or found it hard to ever trust my parents. I never told my siblings either. I went along with it for them. I quite enjoyed it, made me feel grown up.

Screamqueen Sun 08-Dec-13 20:35:18

Did I say you had posted to "piss me off"? No. But yes I'm rolly eyed at all claims of believing in Santa is so wrong because its "lying" to your child..

SPsWantsCliffInHerStocking Sun 08-Dec-13 20:35:45


SPsWantsCliffInHerStocking Sun 08-Dec-13 20:35:57


ChippingInLovesChristmasLights Sun 08-Dec-13 20:36:04

I agree with monikalewinski's DS. It makes Christmas Magical and kids come to terms with it slowly and it's then their turn to help create the magic for younger children. I have no idea why people would want to deny their children this little bit of magic.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 08-Dec-13 20:36:25

In our family we don't limit the big fat lies to just Santa btw. Oh no!! A woody copse is ... obviously... where you find Heffalumps. Various landmarks are privately owned by uncles and aunts. "Three old ladies locked in the lavatory" is the real version of Oh Dear What Can the Matter Be. We love a bit of harmless kidology. smile Anyone else's family the same?

SPsWantsCliffInHerStocking Sun 08-Dec-13 20:38:34

Cog I was brought up on lies grin A leprechaun lived near my grandparents, my dog went on to become a police dog, my nanna smoked to keep clouds in the sky etc

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 08-Dec-13 20:40:24

Fantastic stuff SPs. Stacked up against leprechauns and cloud-smoking grannies, Santa's pretty credible really... smile

ShoeWhore Sun 08-Dec-13 20:41:26

YABU. It's a little bit of childhood magic, not a big fat lie.

Coldlightofday Sun 08-Dec-13 20:41:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

monicalewinski Sun 08-Dec-13 20:42:33

Us to Cog, there was a sodding bear that lived in the woods near us, everyone else apparently saw it when we drove past but I "just missed it" every time.

Loads of unfounded lies in our house - tis fun!

monicalewinski Sun 08-Dec-13 20:42:50


breatheslowly Sun 08-Dec-13 20:43:39

Isn't the Santa thing a case of "better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"?

SteamWisher Sun 08-Dec-13 20:44:22

Were you traumatised?

I don't even remember the shocking news that FC wasn't real.

Don't be a grinch.

IThoughtThat Sun 08-Dec-13 20:44:31

My kids all knew he didn't really exsist from when they were little. They still pretended to put out sherry and biscuits for him much in the same vein as they played any pretend game. I didn't give any of this any thought and I don't think it matters one way or another. It's not worth over thinking this dilemma.

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