Text, wife not impressed??

[SheldonsLeftFlipFlop]

I have an acquaintance / mate who I know via work. We've been on nights out in small groups and enjoy a laugh and joke.

A while back, we were talking about tattoos and I mentioned one that I was planning on my ankle. He said he really likes feminine ankle and foot tattoos. I'd said I wasn't 100% on getting it there and he kind of tried to talk me into it.

Anyway, I had said tattoo but at the bottom of my leg, slightly brushing my ankle. I sent him a picture of it with a jokey line and thought no more of it. I then got a reply ages later saying his wife wasn't impressed. I genuinely had no idea what he was on about, so just replied sorry?? He then text me this afternoon saying his wife had calmed down, but she thought it was inappropriate.

I honestly would never have thought I was crossing any boundaries by sending what I did. And we do text from time to time. But generally quite run of the mill stuff really. I'm a little bit annoyed that a picture of my ankle is being interpreted as anything untoward too.

He'll ring me tomorrow, so would I be unreasonable to say that I don't really want any part in his relationship issues, and nor am I comfortable with our friendship being treated by him as a secret (which I'm now assuming has been the case)?

[FeisMom]

What did your text say?

[hoobypickypicky]

You wouldn't be in the least unreasonable. In fact, you'd be wise to get the hell out, quick-smart.

His wife, on the other hand, has hopped out of her Tardis into the wrong century. The Victorian era is

[DawnOfTheDee]

Looking at the texts between you two could any of them be construed as 'flirty' as well as/rather than 'jokey'? Be honest about this.

If they genuinely matey then yes I think I agree with you when you say that I don't really want any part in his relationship issues, and nor am I comfortable with our friendship being treated by him as a secret (which I'm now assuming has been the case)?

[HarkTEEHeraldAngelsSing]

Is it suddenly 1872 and ankles are sexy?

[Feminine]

I think your ankle just landed in the wrong phone!

There have to be issues already for that to be alarming.

What did you say in the text?

[DawnOfTheDee]

Was the picture just of your ankle? Or is it a full nude with you pointing provocatively at your ankle?

Cos the first is ok. The second is not....

[WaffilyVersatile]

it entirely depends on what the wording that went with the pic said.. I expect it was that which set the tone rather than the ankle flashing

[Fairenuff]

What did the text say?

[Shallistopnow]

I can see why the wife is upset. He's a twat if he has been keeping it secret & been getting a bit of a thrill out of it.

[Hassled]

I dunno. If I stumbled across a text on DH's phone that had a photo of a random female colleague's tattoo, wherever it was, I'd be a bit WTF? It's more than your average work banter, isn't it?

[Ifcatshadthumbs]

Depends what the jokey line was. A picture on it's own is not inappropriate

[drivingmisslazy]

I agree with Hassled

[JellyMould]

Personally, I think sending a photo of your ankle to a work colleague is inappropriate, sorry.

[Helpyourself]

What did the text say?
And check the photo! Does it look a bit cleavegy or hip honey?

[Helpyourself]

Hip boney

[ICameOnTheJitney]

It's not that it's your ankle it's that it is your tattoo. Some people see the as highly personal things. other's don't. She's not "Victorian" I wouldn't be happy if my DH received a text like that and I'm no prude.

[SugarHut]

If my bf had a photo of any body part from another woman on his phone, I would go spare. Sorry. Unless it was from a very good female friend of his and something virtually medical "fell over on black ice, look at the bruise on my arm!!" would be ok....just about.

[Alisvolatpropiis]

A friend of dp's wrote a poem about having sex with him, she'd love it to happen, insinuated they had kissed etc.

She was genuinely shocked when I was deeply unimpressed. It was "just a poem, my thoughts on a page, writing out my fantasies".

It really does depend on what the text said as to whether the wife was being unreasonable.

[Fairylea]

Hm maybe im really old fashioned but I think it's all a bit flirty... talking about tattoos and areas of the body you might get them on, having a laugh about it and then sending a pic of your ankle with tattoo on ... if dh was behaving like that with a female colleague I wouldnt like it. (And dh is literally covered in tattoos from head down so I know all the banter etc).

I just think its all a bit too familliar.

[squoosh]

I can see the wife's point of view. He may have spoken of you to her and said 'oh she's so funny, we have such a laugh together' and then you send him sexy ankle shots (not quite an open legged photo but still) and it may have got her thinking.....

...........or he may never have mentioned you to his wife and then up pops your sexy betattooed ankle on his phone.

[Beamur]

I'm with the wife on this too. I think maybe he is enjoying your friendship a bit more than he should and you're being a bit naive.

[FredFredGeorge]

Discussing ankle tattoo's is entirely appropriate behaviour with your friends, sending pictures of ankle tattoo's is entirely appropriate behaviour. The bloke and his wife sound a bit bonkers though.

[TSSDNCOP]

I imagine you'd be soooo darn cool if a random sent your DP a selfie of their tattoo

Their relationship aside, at best you sound unprofessional and extremely niaive.

[sittinginthesun]

I'm quite relaxed, my DH has lots of female work colleagues and friends, and regularly has nights out with them, but that would be a bit too much for me.

It's a photo of a bit of your body. That's quite personal and intimate, even if it is your ankle.

[Ledkr]

Yep I agree its a bit flirty and if be silently seething but trying to look unbothered and cool.
I'd probably get pissed and threaten you at the next works do