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To pull out of hen do due to promotion?

(53 Posts)
tearoomtrash Sat 30-Nov-13 17:59:19

I have recently taken up a new post at work and it's going really well so far. I have worked at the company for several years and have a network of great friends. I am now in a position of senior responsibility.

My problem is that I now line manage some of them and so made the decision to pull out of a colleague's hen weekend, for fear of it being seen as unprofessional/favouritism. I have paid up my share, plus put in a bit extra for a round of drinks.

Unfortunately the hen and my other friends have taken it badly, and don't understand why I don't feel able to attend.


onedev Sun 01-Dec-13 10:05:52

I don't think YABU actually if you feel it could put you in a predicament professionally - that said, be prepared for them to stop inviting you altogether if you say no, & as long as you're ok with how you'll feel then, then that's fine.

Have you told them the truth why? If not, I'd probably suggest lying (& I don't generally advocate lying grin) & use the excuse of babysitters (if you have children) or sick relatives or something like that!

Good luck & congrats on the promotion.

ZombieMojaveWonderer Sun 01-Dec-13 10:30:27

So you've pulled out of your friends hen do because you've got a promotion and don't want to be seen as unprofessional or for favouritism? How would you be seen as unprofessional at a hen do? It's not a work event is it? They won't be socialising with you as their line manager they will be seeing you as their mate. You built up all those connections and friendships and then just dump them as soon as you got a promotion. Nice friend blush

optimusic Sun 01-Dec-13 10:41:55

So a weekend long bender, with copious amount of booze, strippers and fb were not a problem in your moral compass. But now you have had a promotion it's a problem? Yabvu. You are still the same person. But now you seem like you are too good for them.

I am senior to some of my colleagues. I go out with them still. So do those higher up than me. Went away for the weekend for a 50th birthday, we saw strippers, had loads to drink, went on a bull and lots of wild things. Back at work, everyone was professional, well until the staff room but that's every day anyway.

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