Who, if anyone was unreasonable here please?

[sparklysilversequins]

I went to drop dc at their Dads new flat today. He invited me to see it and drop kids off etc. He showed us round and then into the garden raving about the built in BBQ and Pizza oven. They were at the end of the garden and he pointed them out so I went to have a look. I was half way down the garden when I heard him say "no kids don't walk on the grass, it's muddy". I was almost by the BBQ so carried on, he made a snide comment to the dc along the lines of "well Mum has gone on it so I suppose I will have to let you too". I kind of raised my eyebrows but left it there. Anyway came back to the flat (it's a shared garden) and wiped my feet thoroughly on the TWO mats both inside and out as I went in.

Once inside he told me to go out to my car to get something dd was moaning about, I said no as I was leaving shortly and would get it then, at this he told me I was the worst and rudest house guest ever and to get out and that I would never be welcome there again then launched into a rant about how rude I had been to continue up the garden after he had told me not to. I told him that I had fully intended to take my shoes off once I got back but after wiping my feet thoroughly on TWO mats one after the other and as I was about to leave had not done so. Again told I was a terrible houseguest, worst he'd ever known apparently and asked to leave, which I did. All this was done in front of my wide eyed children by the way.

So thoughts please? We are usually on fairly amicable terms as long as I mind my P's&Q's just to give some background.

[MammaTJ]

These things just serve as a reminder as to why the word EX is being used here!!

[DropYourSword]

He's being fucking ridiculous!

[scaevola]

I think you were wrong to walk on the muddy grass after he'd asked DC not to; you should have backed him up and got everyone (including yourself) off it.

He however was BU in bringing it up repeatedly. And he was also wrong to criticise you for declining to make two trips to the car (assuming 'shortly' really wasn't long and DD is old enought to wait a bit).

[DrivingToDistraction]

He sounds like a twat. He couldn't piss on you to prove you were on his territory so he had to do it like that instead. Just picture him as a jumped-up Yorkshire terrier barking at people from a bay window to warn passers-by not to come too close!

[YouStayClassySanDiego]

He's a twat and a massive wanker for speaking to you like that in front of your children.

[Finola1step]

And I think we can all see why he is your ex!

HIBU. But you will get nowhere if you challenge it. Shrug it off and continue as normal. I do get the feeling that perhaps you weren't cooing and aahing enough at his new place.

BTW I too prefer for visitors to remove outdoor shoes. But I never insist and never take it personally if they don't.

[FunkyBoldRibena]

Why show you into the garden and get pissed because you go into the garden?

[AngiBolen]

Does he have brand new cream carpets?

Pizza oven at the end of a shared garden? For some reason this had made me laugh.

[BackforGood]

Love the fact MNers all jump on the side of the woman!

Imagine what the replies would be if OP had said She'd got a new flat and was proudly showing it off, then her ex-dh walked in the mud when there was a perfectly good path going down the garden.......

[sparklysilversequins]

There wasn't a path backforgood , if there was I would have been on it! It wasn't even that muddy. No carpets aren't new and the stairs from the garden were filthy!

[sparklysilversequins]

Oh and I would have had zero issue with being asked to remove my shoes.

[YouStayClassySanDiego]

BackforGood OP didn't mention a path, where did you get that from?

[rabbitlady]

my thoughts. he's a prat.

[sparklysilversequins]

Oh and was very careful to ensure my dc wiped their feet as they came in too to show back up.

[Alisvolatpropiis]

Well that was a nice reminder of why he's an ex if nothing else.

What a massive knob.

[frogspoon]

You were both being unreasonable.

You were unreasonable for carrying on walking on the muddy grass when he had asked you not to.

He was unreasonable for speaking to you that way, especially in front of your DCs.

[AngiBolen]

I think what's happened here is you didn't get excited over the pizza oven, and he's become offended.

[sparklysilversequins]

But frogspoon I was literally two more steps from The Shared Pizza Oven, I just didn't see the point of sprinting back down the garden without even looking at this unique selling point that he hadn't stopped mentioning since he let us in!

[BackforGood]

Sorry - I inferred it from the fact he wanted to show you something at the bottom of the garden but didn't want you to walk on the mud/grass - it's just what I pictured. Apologies (re path - point still stands though)

[MajesticWhine]

OP, you asked if anyone was being unreasonable - and now you don't like the answer?

[TheRealAmandaClarke]

He was bu to berate you in front of your dcs.

[sparklysilversequins]

Is it not liking the answer to clarify the situation then?

Points are being made and I am discussing them. Which is fine imo.

[DropYourSword]

To be fair though to Sparkly, he didn't ask HER not to, he asked the kids not to. Adults can keep their shoes cleaner and wipe them properly. He sounds like he was just enjoying power tripping!

[sparklysilversequins]

I didn't even hear him ask the kids not to and he certainly didn't ask me not to. Just made the snide comment when I was almost there.

[sparklysilversequins]

Didn't hear him ask the kids not to till i was almost there I meant, I thought they were traipsing down the garden behind me , turned and was alone by the pizza oven.