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To tell my dd (12) that she should knock on our bedroom door before coming in as we could be having sex?

(36 Posts)
DorrisM Sat 30-Nov-13 10:35:09

Over the last few weeks dd2 has got into the habit of walking into our room without knocking, which I think is fine if the door is open but not if it's shut. Last week When she did it I told her again to knock and said you might see something you'd rather not. She said sorry, so all fine.

This morning I was woken to the sound of the door shutting and then a little while later she just walked in. DH told her again she should knock, she apologised. Only to do it again ten minutes later so I told I got a bit cross and said we could have been having sex. Have I traumatised her? She shuddered, said yuk and wandered off.

bundaberg Sat 30-Nov-13 10:36:56

i would suggest you lock your door

Monetbyhimself Sat 30-Nov-13 10:37:25

Put a bolt on the door.

EvaBeaversProtege Sat 30-Nov-13 10:38:39

Do you have a lock? They're about £1 in B&Q smile would save all the stress.

Xfirefly Sat 30-Nov-13 10:39:10

put a lock on the door. maybe what you've said will stop her walking in from now on

BoundandRebound Sat 30-Nov-13 10:42:16


She deserved it

She's going to knock now

Nothing worse than the thought of your parents doing it

ForalltheSaints Sat 30-Nov-13 10:42:34

Knocking before entering is good manners you should be teaching her, not just for the bedroom or the home. A lock wouldn't go amiss though.

mrsjay Sat 30-Nov-13 10:42:42

maybe the thought of OLD PEOPLE at it will put her off your bedroom door I dont think you will need a lock now poor kid will be sitting shuddering thinking about it grin

Idespair Sat 30-Nov-13 10:43:45

Good god, you have traumatised her. Get a lock!!!

Bunbaker Sat 30-Nov-13 10:44:07

How can anyone feel relaxed enough to DTD when they know there are children wandering about the house likely to interrupt?

Bunbaker Sat 30-Nov-13 10:44:31

I mean, I would find that a major passion killer.

WorrySighWorrySigh Sat 30-Nov-13 10:44:56

We have a bolt on the door for precisely this purpose.

It saves having the conversation which goes like this:

DC: Mummy, what are you doing to Daddy

Me: I'm blowing him back up because he had gone flat

MyNameIsWinkly Sat 30-Nov-13 10:47:02

I don't see why the OP should get a lock. At 12 her DD is more than old enough to respect her parents' privacy.

livinginwonderland Sat 30-Nov-13 10:47:12

Surely you should teach her to knock anyway? She wouldn't like it if people barged into her room without asking, so she should have the same respect for everyone else.

mrsjay Sat 30-Nov-13 10:47:56

mine always knock

Jolleigh Sat 30-Nov-13 10:49:25

Worry - I'm stealing that one wink

Not sure it'd work on a 12 year old though.

OP - you've done nothing wrong. You did try and get her to knock without mentioning it and she carried on so needed the obvious pointing out to her.

Equally though, without a lock on the door, they're bound to see you at it eventually.

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks Sat 30-Nov-13 10:52:02

We have a lock for this very reason. That and for when I am busy wrapping birthday and Christmas gifts. DD is only 7, so a bit young to expect her to remember to knock.
If the door is locked we say we are tidying the bedroom wink

youmakemydreams Sat 30-Nov-13 10:53:23

Shouldn't need a lock. My 3 year old knocks before he comes into my bedroom as does my 7 year old. I also knock before I go into theirs. Dd is 10 and a completely different matter hmm

candycoatedwaterdrops Sat 30-Nov-13 10:55:09

You don't need a lock. She's 12, not 2! Just tell her to stop bloody doing it.

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks Sat 30-Nov-13 10:55:17

Bunbaker - DD will sometimes try to come in after she should be asleep - so 9pm / 10pm. I wouldn't be able to relax if it was before she should be asleep.
So hence the lock goes on.

DoingItForMyself Sat 30-Nov-13 11:01:07

Traumatising is when they walk in during and ask you to keep the noise down blush

Or walk in with a video-camera in hand making a movie about the family blush

Or hear a FaceTime conversation about him having to wash lube off his balls because he didn't realise one of them was still awake blush

You're fine.

Birdsgottafly Sat 30-Nov-13 11:03:40

My DD found my vibrator when she was 14, part of me thought that she shouldn't be snooping, but thinking back I rummaged in my parents bedroom. I'm entitled to have a bib and I've bought my DD's up to think that it is normal and a right to have a sex life that suits them.

She turns 18 this week and a lock would of been handy to hide her personalised stuff, she is mainly getting money, it's been a nightmare to hide.

I think that it's important that your teens come to terms with you being a person/ couple in your own right, with all that goes with that, like having your own privacy.

MrsCakesPremonition Sat 30-Nov-13 11:05:31

Of course you haven't traumatised her. I'm sure the fact that you have sex has crossed her mind. She has been repeatedly warned to knock before walking in. Now she knows why.

Birdsgottafly Sat 30-Nov-13 11:05:56

Not a "bib" a vibe, stupid autocorrect.

When you live with older teens, they could be wandering at any time, so you have to show each other respect.

My eldest lived with me with her BF, for a year, it works both ways.

DorrisM Sat 30-Nov-13 11:06:18

There is a lock and between you and me we lock it if we are up to anything for exactly the reason Bunbaker said. I just think she's old enough to know not to just walk into anyone's bedroom, she certainly wouldn't want me to do it to her. I did think that the thought of Mumand Dad at it might help her get the message but the poor thing did look horrified.

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