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For losing it on DDs teacher when her part in the school play was given to another child when she was off sick for two days?

(235 Posts)
Insolence Fri 29-Nov-13 17:59:57

At the start of November DD was given a great part in the school play. They have been rehearsing for almost five weeks. Last fri and mon I kept her at home to recover from a cold. When DD went into school on tues she was told by the form teacher that the girl who had stood in for her had learned her words beautifully and would now be doing half the performances... They are doing the play next week. DD was distraught and came home in floods of tears. She doesn't have lots of confidence and getting the part had been a massive boost. After sending a stinky email to the school I went in and spoke to the teacher who thought it would be kind to share the part out, and said they weren't sure when DD might come back to school. DD feels very betrayed and is worried about whether she is any good at the part. She's wondering if they will decide to give the rest of the performances to someone else who fancies having a go. And to top it off, the child they gave it to is DDs arch enemy (if it is possible to have an arch enemy at 6yo...). I lost it with the teacher. They couldn't understand why I was so cross. Starting to wonder if I have over reacted. DD says she just wants her part back.

gordyslovesheep Fri 29-Nov-13 18:01:32

seriously? I mean seriously? please ask Santa for a grip for Christmas x

gordyslovesheep Fri 29-Nov-13 18:02:06

and maybe some paragraphs grin

ferretyfeet Fri 29-Nov-13 18:03:09

pull yourself together

HyvaPaiva Fri 29-Nov-13 18:03:40

Lost it on the teacher? Your daughter is betrayed?

grin Settle yourself.

Saggyeyesnomore Fri 29-Nov-13 18:03:43

Yabu. Your dd hasn't "lost" her part, she's doing half the performances.
You over reacted.

SuperLovefuzz Fri 29-Nov-13 18:04:05

I think YABU and your DD is probably only so upset because of your reaction. If you'd explained to her it was being shared out to be fair to the other girl she may have reacted better than this. Even if she was still upset, these things happen and kids have to learn. The poor teacher having to deal with you blowing up over a kids play!

youmakemydreams Fri 29-Nov-13 18:04:38

Yabu. It would probably be equally as upsetting for the other girl to have worked hard learning the lines and then be told she wasn't getting to do it. This way is fair. They share the performances they haven't taken the part off your dd altogether.
What you really should have done is explained all this to your dd rather than totally over react the way you did.

Insolence Fri 29-Nov-13 18:05:52

Ok, thanks. Better find that humble pie recipe...

TeaJunky Fri 29-Nov-13 18:06:07

Gordy grin

Oh dear Op. Erm, I think you may have overreacted a little. Just a touch.

Do you think perhaps that she has actually picked up on how important this part was to YOU and felt like she would win some pride/praise this way? Have you made it absolutely clear to her that you will be equally proud and amazed at her talents however big or small her part is?

Kleptronic Fri 29-Nov-13 18:06:19

Um, six years old? It would be nice to share. I think you're projecting a lot of stuff onto your DD.

Also it is not cool to lose it with teachers.

drivingmisslazy Fri 29-Nov-13 18:06:21

Sorry but YABU

Seemed what the teacher did was fair, no wonder they couldn't understand why you were cross, massive over-reaction to me.

Morgause Fri 29-Nov-13 18:06:51

YABVU your DD is still doing the role. The other girl was rewarded for standing in - as far as they knew your DD would be off all week.

And how embarrassing for your DD for you to "lose it" with the teacher. Big apology due.

Nerfmother Fri 29-Nov-13 18:07:54

Four days to get over a cold? Teacher prob needed a back up in case your dd has another sickie. Leave it alone now.

MoveYourArmsLikeHenry Fri 29-Nov-13 18:08:21

I think it's nice that the other little girl was given a part too (even if it only was half a part). Reverse the situation; your dd hasn't got a part but did so well standing in for someone that they let her have a small part. Would it still be unreasonable for the school to do this?

It's not wrecking anyones lives giving the little girl half a part.

WorraLiberty Fri 29-Nov-13 18:08:47

OMG so you'd prefer they just 'used' this girl and then show their gratitude by telling her your DD is back so she can bugger off? hmm

You're being very precious. Instead of getting shitty with the teacher, you should spend your energy telling your DD that it is kind to share.

picnicbasketcase Fri 29-Nov-13 18:08:54

In your situation I would be upset on behalf on my DD but would never go into school and yell at a teacher. That was very unreasonable.

YouAreMyFavouriteWasteOfTime Fri 29-Nov-13 18:08:56

yes you have overreacted

gamerchick Fri 29-Nov-13 18:09:11

You've really overreacted and need to bloody apologise.

Your daughter hasn't lost her part.. she's just sharing it. Jesus!

10thingsihateaboutpoo Fri 29-Nov-13 18:09:15

Going against the grain here but Yanbu...same thing happened to me when i was about 8. The teacher concerned was horrible in general though. Maybe yabu to lose it but i understand why DD was upset it's very upsetting at that age. Hope she's ok.

Smartiepants79 Fri 29-Nov-13 18:10:00

Umm think you. May have overreacted a little. They haven't 'given the part away' they have shared it with another child who had performed well and worked hard to be good at it. The fact that your daughter doesn't like the other girl is irrelevant as far as this goes.
Your behaviour isn't going to make them change their minds. In fact if I was the teacher I'd be even more determined to stick with my descision.
She still has the part.
I do consider this a bit of an odd thing to have done on the strength of just a couple of days off but they are performing next week and i suppose they wanted to be ready for all eventualities. your reaction has not made this better!

Hulababy Fri 29-Nov-13 18:11:07

We make ALL big parts in our end of Y2 show as shared parts, so no one person ever gets to be the "star" iyswim. We have a 3 form intake so 90 children - this way it makes it all a bit more even.

Maybe the teacher could have let your DD know more gently about what they were doing and why and that it wasn't because your DD isn't doing it well, but I can see the reasoning behind it.

I think that, as you now know the reasoning, and that they aren't going to change their mind, you need to explain in to your DD too, and why i is a nice thing to have the part shared between two good little actors. At 6y I think she is old enough to grasp this, if explained nicely.

Doinmummy Fri 29-Nov-13 18:11:40

Will you apologise to the teacher Op?

LittlePeaPod Fri 29-Nov-13 18:12:22

I was cringing reading that op... That's just really embarrassing Insolence. I hope you do find the recipe for that humble pie, bake it, eat it and apologise to the teacher when you next see her/him for your massive over reaction toddler tantrum

Yes YABU...

Chippednailvarnish Fri 29-Nov-13 18:12:51

Arch enemy?!?

I've never heard a six year old refer to anyone like that before.

I can't imagine where you DD gets her highly strung, over the top reactions from.

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