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AIBU to ask in what way have I harmed my baby by not bf?

(224 Posts)
LostMarbles99 Fri 22-Nov-13 23:55:18

Before my baby arrived I decided I was going to ff. Ds is 10 months now and I still get little pangs of regret that I didn't try to bf.

There have been lots of threads on here recently about bf/ff and one person said how they felt so sad the baby didn't even get the first feed from its mother.

I totally get that some people cant bf but I didn't even try. Was this really wrong of me? Be honest?

BlingBang Sat 23-Nov-13 00:09:43

I'm sure your baby is fine and hasn't been harmed but as BM is supposed to be superior then it's possible he might have missed out on the benefits it's supposed to bring. I doubt you will ever find out if it would have made any difference.

Bitofkipper Sat 23-Nov-13 00:10:48

When my children were born mothers were discouraged from breastfeeding. Fathers were not expected to be at the birth.

Amazingly we survived.

Caitlin17 Sat 23-Nov-13 00:12:42

radiator I endured 2 months of utter misery breastfeeding my son.

He is 23. The last time he saw a doctor was to get his MMR .So please feel free to tell me he has suffered health problems.

Goldmandra Sat 23-Nov-13 00:13:38

Amazingly we survived.

I'd be worried if you hadn't and were posting on this thread! shock

jeremytampaxman Sat 23-Nov-13 00:13:41

Honestly? I do think it's a shame when people don't even try to BF, don't even want to give those first few feeds of colostrum. You'd have to live under a rock to not know it's the better choice for your baby.

That said, there are many reasons why people might not want to try - unsupportive family/partner; having heard horror stories about BFing and how difficult it can be; feeling uncomfortable with using breasts for BFing when we've all been conditioned to see them for sex, etc. All of those are a shame, but not wrong.

I think the whole issue is quite complex and needs to change on a societal level. Mothers aren't "wrong" for choosing formula when we live in a formula centric society.

usualsuspect Sat 23-Nov-13 00:13:58

You know what,some of the bf on here cause more bloody grief than anyone else.

AgentZigzag Sat 23-Nov-13 00:14:15

"They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself."

Genius Phil.

I'm keeping a book on how I'm fucking mine up, and minimal bf have pretty high odds.

WorraLiberty Sat 23-Nov-13 00:17:39

Considering how many kids are obese by the time they start Reception class, it makes me wonder why some parents worry so much more about what they feed their babies in the early years...and then seem take their eye completely off the ball a couple of years later.

I know this is a bit OT but I just wish the evangelism regarding healthy feeding, would extend past the baby stage.

usualsuspect Sat 23-Nov-13 00:18:02

Mine must be pretty fucked up then,what with me ff them.

Or it might have been the jars of baby food,or the disposable mappies.Or maybe the wrong school or anything else I did wrong.

WorraLiberty Sat 23-Nov-13 00:21:55

I chose to FF all 3 of mine too usual

I got a letter last year from the Doctor's surgery, checking we were still living at our address because none of us have seen the GP for years grin

BlackeyedSusan Sat 23-Nov-13 00:24:41

it is about statistics. just because a formula fed baby may have a greater chance of developing/not getting x y or z does not mean that your particular formula fed baby ill definitely be/get x y or z. or not have got it if breast fed.

AgentZigzag Sat 23-Nov-13 00:25:02

DD2 had pringles, yoghurt and lucozade for her tea tonight shock

I'm done for.

(has yog got an h in it?)

usualsuspect Sat 23-Nov-13 00:25:59

Well all mine seem to be ok,Worra.

I weaned the eldest 2 at 4 months too shock

Bad bad mother.

<Flogs self>

IneedAsockamnesty Sat 23-Nov-13 00:26:37

I would actually fight you for a jammy bun right now,

But it would have to be proper rubbish jam none of that posh only pretending to be jam stuff.

Bastard lemon curd is the only vaguely sweet thing I currently have in my house

WorraLiberty Sat 23-Nov-13 00:28:09

I don't want to out wean you usual but I weaned my eldest at just under 4 months, on the advice of my GP and HV.

However, I'm not afraid so if you want a 'wean-off' we'll have one

<< Tries to look menacing >>

Bitofkipper Sat 23-Nov-13 00:28:32

Goldmandra, your post doesn't make sense.

usualsuspect Sat 23-Nov-13 00:29:09

I love lemon curd. I'm never sure what to do with it though.

AgentZigzag Sat 23-Nov-13 00:30:21

The only thing better than lemon curd on toast is bastard lemon curd on toast.

It was my staple student fare, one BLC and the other peanut butter <mmm>

WorraLiberty Sat 23-Nov-13 00:31:19 put lemon curd on toast?


Only1scoop Sat 23-Nov-13 00:31:33

Always wondered what lemon curd went into other than tarts etc....

usualsuspect Sat 23-Nov-13 00:32:43

I only make tarts with lemon curd.

It has no place on bread.

AgentZigzag Sat 23-Nov-13 00:32:45

I meant one slice of toast had one topping and the other another.

It was a main plus pud on one small plate.

Goldmandra Sat 23-Nov-13 00:32:56

Goldmandra, your post doesn't make sense.

Who wouldn't be concerned to find a deceased person posting on MN?

SunriseSurprise Sat 23-Nov-13 00:34:07

You haven't in any way failed your baby. Each to their own but imo bf is hyped up waaay too much as being the superior way of feeding. Bf mothers generally always carry an air of superiority (from the ones I've known!
Then I find it ironic that by the time dc is merely 8 weeks old the majority of these 'au naturel' mothers start the roller coaster ride of subjecting their tiny babies to vaccination cocktails! But that's a whole other thread and I'm prepared to get flamed! !

AgentZigzag Sat 23-Nov-13 00:34:19

I thought that's what it was for worra shock

Even if it takes me years, I'm going to hunt down the liar who told me that and maim them.

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