To feel teary over a stupid bloody birthday.

[WholeNutt]

For the past 5 years I have been away with work on my birthday. This year I am not, dh arrived home very early this morning after his night shift and went straight to bed which is absolutely fine he's shattered.

I went to visit my parents, my dad was in a foul mood and made sure we all knew it. I left shortly before 3pm when my dh would normally now be up.

I arrived home, he's not showered in his slops eating toast..fine, except we had agreed we would go for a late lunch and perhaps a walk afterwards. Didn't happen, he reclined and watched more repeats of the Big Bang theory until I finally said at 4.30 as we'd missed lunch perhaps we could go for dinner.

It's just a day, it's not a big birthday and lots of people spend it working etc but AIBU to wish that dh had made more of an effort to acknowledge my birthday? My birthday present from him was chosen by my 10 yr dsd which although nice he hadn't given me any thought.

Just feel disappointed

[MistAllChuckingFrighty]

Happy birthday, birthday twin

Yes, your H should have made more effort.

[WholeNutt]

Happy Birthday Mist

[MistAllChuckingFrighty]

Thanks. to you too

[MistAllChuckingFrighty]

it's been a while since our birthday was on a "decent" day, hasn't it ?

[Golddigger]

Happy birthday to both of you.

Did you do out to dinner?

[Hassled]

YANBU. A birthday is a big deal as far as I'm concerned (cue 100 posts saying it's not a big deal) and he should have made a degree of bloody effort. As should your father.

Too late to say Happy Birthday, because it wasn't one - but could Day After Birthday be a happy one instead?

[MistAllChuckingFrighty]

Me and DH went out last night to our favourite restaurant.

Am more concerned about OP though. Are you ok ?

[Bowlersarm]

Happy Birthdays

[ICameOnTheJitney]

Happy birthday! In your situation I wouldn't have waited though I'd have hassled him a bit until he got off the sofa!

[purrtrillpadpadpad]

Happy birthday. YANBU. Maybe ask him if he could make a bit of an effort next year. My DH was a bit rubbish (but I am quite demanding, allegedly) but I sat him down and said that his lack of effort (on the year he bought me nothing) made me feel sad and deflated on my birthday, and that I wanted him to treat me, make me feel special. Every year since I have had balloons and beautifully wrapped presents. I keep my amazon wish list full of things I really want so he picks off that, easy. He just needed me to make it clear.

[AngelsLieToKeepControl]

Happy birthday to you

It was mine yesterday and I had a thoroughly shit day too. Dh is great most of the time but turns into a thoughtless wanker on any sort of celebratory day so you have my sympathies.

Did you manage to go for dinner? Could you order a takeaway and take over the TV for the rest of the night?

[BrianTheMole]

Happy birthday! Here you go, and

[KrabbyPatty]

Happy Birthday!

He sounds like an arse.

[Pobblewhohasnotoes]

Yanbu. It's nice to have a bit of thought from someone who claims to love you.

[WholeNutt]

We went for dinner, food was nice.dh isn't arsed with birthdays or christmas so seemingly can't understand why anyone else would be.

He knows these times are special for me and that I'm not normally around. I'm disappointed because I always try to make anyone's birthday something special, it's their day. Sad that it's never reciprocated (even though you don't give to receive!)

[MistAllChuckingFrighty]

Indeed.

What is your H like generally ?

[WholeNutt]

Generally he's pretty good! If I've been away for a length of time I get welcome home flowers which I really appreciate.

He knew I'd be home for my birthday this year and yet he still couldn't sort anything he only bought my present on Wednesday!!!

I do have some lovely wine and choccies from my folks so I might just gorge myself!!

[cheminotte]

Happy birthday OP. I agree birthdays are special.

[MistAllChuckingFrighty]

My H has only been upping the effort in recent years (and tbh, so have I)

We went through a few doldrum years where we said "nah, it's only me, don't bother with it"

then our teenage kids dragged us both out of it and we try harder these days

[enriquetheringbearinglizard]

We never make much fuss about birthdays, but your DH's attitude this year seems a bit crap really.

Happy Birthday, take your pick


Hope he bucks up a bit next time x

[MistAllChuckingFrighty]

I don't know how old you are (and no need to tell us) but I have been a bit teary for the last couple of days, for a few different reasons

I listen to Smooth Radio and they had 1977 as the choice year. Some records played reminded about some stuff I would rather choose not to think about (less than ideal childhood)

My kids are massively growing up, and I have reflected on how things are so different recently.

I am nearer 50 than 40 which is starting to weigh heavily.

OP, talk to your husband. If he is generally a good guy, tell him how you feel. x

[Mellowandfruitful]

It is a disappointment that someone knows something is important to you and still can't make any effort towards doing something for it. It's one day a year.

[WholeNutt]

I don't want to tell him I'm disappointed I don't want him to feel crappy, I'm unusually quiet, he knows I know he knows because he's making small talk. He's attempting to hug me but it's a bit bloody late!

Next year if I'm not at work I'll be arranging something with my friends.

[Mellowandfruitful]

for everyone feeling a bit down about stuff.

[kimblesj]

Happy birthday op! It is also my birthday and mine has been a bit crappy but had my 3rd son 6 weeks ago so can't stray too far from him and husband worked all day! For you