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language used to DD (2)

(27 Posts)
ZadokTheBeast Fri 22-Nov-13 12:10:39

I really do want some views on this so be honest!

I am really uncomfortable with some of the language my mother uses when talking to my DD (nearly 2). We ahve never had the best relationship but she tries really hard with DD and though they don't see each other often due to distance she seems to enjoy my mum's company and mum is happy to play with her for a little while at a time. But she uses really negative language all the time! Like 'dirty' and 'smelly' if she needs a nappy changed, or if she just wants a cuddle from me when she's playingwith my mum, mum will call her a 'little sneak' or 'traitor'.

It's all delivered jokingly and I know (I think) mum is not genuinely offended or possessive - she absolutely gets it that sometimes DD just wants her mum - but I really cringe at this negative language. there's also this weird undercurrent that i find really hard to explain which seems to be all about taking sides - she had to be 'with' grandma or be Grandma's friend and I just don't want her (DD) to have to deal with that complicated grown-up shit when she's only little.

However when I try to think of what to say to my mum I can't seem to construct an argument that doesn't make me sound - well, just completely precious and a bit barking tbh. So I've never said anything.


ICameOnTheJitney Fri 22-Nov-13 20:10:28

I agree with you! My DDs never heard any language like this and as a result they didn't indulge in any controlling behaviour with their friends when they began school.

Some of their friends however would come out with gems like "You're not my best girl any more." and this was at FIVE! Obviously learned behaviour.

I mean...where to mean girls learn this thing? From their families.

catellington Fri 22-Nov-13 20:10:56

I have similar experience and I'm with you op if this is what you mean. If me or dh are changing dd nappy we might say that's a bad one etc etc to each other but just get on with it. DM is absolutely ott about it, saying stinky, pooey, she gets in a panic if it's really bad or nappy leaks etc. I prefer just to get on with it as quickly as possible and don't like a big fuss. It's just poo.

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