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to expect clean sheets if invited to stay?

(58 Posts)
baggyoldcow Fri 22-Nov-13 09:41:48

How would you handle this?
You are invited by a friend to stay at their house, "please stay, please stay, we've plenty of room etc, etc". That's very kind of them, of course. So you go, and then they put you in the spare bedroom where the bed has clearly been slept in by someone else and the sheets not changed.
This has happened to us a couple of times (not with the same hosts). I find it very odd as I would never invite someone to stay if I didn't have the time or energy or inclination to offer them a clean bed!
Is it unreasonable to feel put out by this, given they are putting us up?
Is it unreasonable to say something? (Any suggestions as to what?)
Is it unreasonable to wash the sheets oneself while hosts are out?! wink

FrauMoose Fri 22-Nov-13 20:53:29

I'm quite princess-and-the-pea about manmade fibre. So although the ideal is crisp new ironed 100% sheets, I'd settle for ones that had been pre-used. Whereas on some freshelywhisked-through-the machine-and-tumble-dryer-easycare synthetic bedding, I'd be awake half the night.

But I would - I hope - be a polite guest. As long as there was a good book to read, I'd cope with the insomnia.

GuffSmuggler Fri 22-Nov-13 19:35:13

Oh the memories as a student of being offered a sofa bed and then have it pulled out in front you with the sheet on it that is obviously left for every dosser that stays (boak).

Oh and when I was a bit older being invited to stay at a friends house and being told which room was mine to find a bare mattress and an old sleeping bag unzipped to sleep under (horrendous).

ProphetOfDoom Fri 22-Nov-13 19:22:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OrangeJuiceSandwich Fri 22-Nov-13 19:17:04

Does this

OrangeJuiceSandwich Fri 22-Nov-13 19:16:15

MIL does the. It's disgusting and lazy. If you can't be bothered to change the sheets don't have guests.

JapaneseMargaret Fri 22-Nov-13 19:15:37

Hopefully you tell your host that as well, so they know exactly what they're dealing with. wink

FrauMoose Fri 22-Nov-13 18:56:18

I'd rather sleep on pure cotton sheets that some other guest had slept on before, than polycotton bedding that had been put on specially for me.

JapaneseMargaret Fri 22-Nov-13 18:53:05

Sometimes if I've had my friend over one night and then my mum over the next, I ask her if she minds slightly used sheets. Normally she's fine with it, but I'm always willing to change them if that's what she wants.

Normally she's fine with it. grin So sometimes she's not?

Surely, on that basis, she's really not fine with it, and is only being polite when she says she doesn't mind...?

daisychain01 Fri 22-Nov-13 18:45:21


The smell ~ ~ ~



Sometimes if I've had my friend over one night and then my mum over the next, I ask her if she minds slightly used sheets. Normally she's fine with it, but I'm always willing to change them if that's what she wants.

BikeRunSki Fri 22-Nov-13 18:25:44

FiL used to stay for a night or two every week or two. I didn't always change the sheets every time he slept in the spare bed. Although I did if someone else was coming in between FiL visits !

drspouse Fri 22-Nov-13 18:17:57

I do the same as Asteria as my mum comes more often than anyone else.

She is here at the moment but a friend was here on Tuesday and my dad 10 days before that. It is definitely DH's turn to change the sheets now.

whois Fri 22-Nov-13 18:00:37

I don't totally see the problem with leaving the sheets if there's been one guest one night - in pjs and after a shower, how much damage can they really do to the sheets?

UnicornsNotRiddenByGrownUps Fri 22-Nov-13 17:16:42

Anything other than changing the sheets is just utterly rank!

SatinSandals Fri 22-Nov-13 15:49:25

It has never happened to me so I am not sure how I would handle it. I can't imagine it happening.

baggyoldcow Fri 22-Nov-13 15:44:13

ha ha good to hear I'm not alone! I love the dettol bath idea ancelyn

Just remembered that when I was about 10 we went to stay at someone's house while they were away for a week. I was put in the kid's bed and it had pee in it! It was still damp! Ugh.

Amazing the way people you think you know operate.

sandfrog Fri 22-Nov-13 15:28:15

YANBU at all.

doodlyfiddly Fri 22-Nov-13 15:18:57

Some people really surprise you don't they? This also happened to us - 'please stay, please stay' etc. until we caved.

We were given the bedroom of their 15 yr old son and, it was only as we got into the bed, that the rankness of teenage boy (still don't want to think about what else) leapt up to greet us. YUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

Asteria Fri 22-Nov-13 15:10:16

I usually leave sheets on until just before guests come to stay, just in case it is the same person coming back! My DH also often ends up in the spare bed if he has had a bout of insomnia and doesn't want me to murder him wake up because he is thrashing about. I'm not going to put fresh sheets on every time he goes in there, but guests get the full pressed linen treatment!!

I once found a massive black pube in a bed I was staying in, I felt grubby for the rest of my stay.

tolittletoolate Fri 22-Nov-13 14:08:29

My Mum stayed with my sister a while ago and was given a bed to sleep in that had no sheets at all, just a bare mattress!!
Needless to say she hasn't stayed there again.

fromparistoberlin Fri 22-Nov-13 13:11:06


I have a mate that does this, I ALWAYS take a spare sheet and pillow case when I sat :-)

ImaginativeNewName Fri 22-Nov-13 13:08:47

I wouldn't really care if if was just somewhere to crash for the night. Then again I have slept in cars, on manky student sofas, I'm not a fussy sleeper and shouldn't be listened to. grin

DorisShutt Fri 22-Nov-13 12:19:22

Urgh. Sounds horrible to me.

Having said that, BIL stayed at his parents the night before getting married (ex-SIL was staying in their house), we had booked a hotel as their house is tiny.

The night of the wedding we went back to PIL's and DMIL went to go change the bed - at 2am; we told her to stop and just crashed out.

WillieWaggledagger Fri 22-Nov-13 12:15:23


agree with trills though - i had my mum staying one night and then a few days later my dad (they are a couple but were staying overnight at mine on their own for work trips). i put clean sheets on for mum, and then just washed the pillow cases for dad and aired the bed in between. they share a bed normally so this i think is fine. would never do this for non-related guests or after people staying longer than 1-2 nights

ancelynthecraven Fri 22-Nov-13 12:11:40

Stayed at a friends house and the place was a pit. Hair brushes on work surfaces in the kitchen had head lice on them. Cat food all over the wet room. Dead fleas in the bed we were supposed to sleep in.
My husband was ashamed of the place and his friend really embarrassed.
His wife seemed really proud of the fact that she was a slattern.
I had a detol bath when I got home.

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