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AIBU to feel upset my friend didn't lend me any money?

(218 Posts)
ShakeRattleNRoll Thu 21-Nov-13 19:33:24

I've known him for 8 years as a neighbor and I have never asked to borrow money off him before .We have always got on and I consider him a friend .I hate asking to borrow money off anybody but needs must and he has plenty of it .I over spent today on brand new jacket for £15 which should have been £60 but I couldn't let it go and I was confident of borrowing against it . I have a direct debit which is due out tomorrow for (£12) and I've messed it up .I wish I hadn't asked now. My grandmother used to say to me the best way to lose a friend is to lend them money.I disagree with that because I always pay back my debts if I ever have them.Anyhow this supposed friend said to me I don't like lending money and refused to lend me any.AIBU to feel upset about this?

KungFuBustle Thu 21-Nov-13 19:34:21


Jollyb Thu 21-Nov-13 19:35:26

YABU. You put him in an awkward situation. A jacket isn't an emergency.

SauvignonBlanche Thu 21-Nov-13 19:35:30

YABU, it's up to them.

FannyMcNally Thu 21-Nov-13 19:35:42

He's the one who should feel upset. How awkward for him to be put in that position.

DownstairsMixUp Thu 21-Nov-13 19:36:08

Yes yabu

Salmotrutta Thu 21-Nov-13 19:37:08


You don't get to have a say in how your neighbour distributes his funds - he probably reckoned on loan might end up being the thin end of the wedge...

YoDiggity Thu 21-Nov-13 19:37:23

YABU. It was a jacket, not food for your children, or money for the gas meter. Your Gran was right BTW.

ShakeRattleNRoll Thu 21-Nov-13 19:37:30

He just phoned me and apologized for not lending me the money :-(

Salmotrutta Thu 21-Nov-13 19:37:50

one loan.

Not "on" loand hmm

YoniMitchell Thu 21-Nov-13 19:37:53

Yabu. It's up to him if/to whom he lends any money. You say you always pay back your debts, do you have to borrow cash often? If so, maybe you need to look at your budgeting.

WooWooOwl Thu 21-Nov-13 19:38:03

Are you for real?

AngelsLieToKeepControl Thu 21-Nov-13 19:38:13

Is this a reverse thread? If not YAB totally U.

Salmotrutta Thu 21-Nov-13 19:38:17


Not "loand"

FreudiansSlipper Thu 21-Nov-13 19:38:21


if it was an emergency then i can understand you being upset but money is something that should never come between friendship. some people are ok with lending money others are not

but to bail you out because you could not let a jacket go hmm i would not want to either

DownstairsMixUp Thu 21-Nov-13 19:38:26

He has nothing to be sorry for though. It's his money, he can do what he wants with it.

JoinYourPlayfellows Thu 21-Nov-13 19:38:26


LittleTulip Thu 21-Nov-13 19:38:27

Um for a jacket? confused

fieldfare Thu 21-Nov-13 19:38:40


So you spent £60 on a jacket and now can't pay your bills?! You do realise how utterly ridiculous that is don't you?!

Take the jacket back tomorrow and get a refund then pay your bills.

Sirzy Thu 21-Nov-13 19:38:47

So you purchased a jacket assuming someone would lend you money? YABU

ShakeRattleNRoll Thu 21-Nov-13 19:38:48

ok thanks for putting me right I will stop feeling upset then.Thanks for the advice

BobaFetaCheese Thu 21-Nov-13 19:39:13

You budgeted based on relying on someone else to lend you money? Seriously?

Crikeyblimey Thu 21-Nov-13 19:39:19

Hmmmmm - so you bought something you couldn't afford, asked a neighbour for a loan, made an assumption that as they have "plenty of money" they'd be ok with this, they weren't and YOU'RE upset???

I think you need to re-think things a bit.

Yamyoid Thu 21-Nov-13 19:39:21

What jollyb said.

Salmotrutta Thu 21-Nov-13 19:39:22

I wouldn't be apologising for not lending my own money.

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