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Cul-de-sac conundrums

(60 Posts)
bunny100 Thu 21-Nov-13 17:28:11

Hi everyone,

I am a longterm lurker of AIBU and have entered a conundrum in my life which I really don't know if I am being unreasonable about or not, so I would appreciate some honesty.

So, we have recently moved into a cul-de-sac and live near the circle at the end. Due to the circle everyone has their own drive which is seperated by a cobbled line, so it is clear whose drive belongs to whom. We can fit 2 vehicles in our drive, but one would have to be in front of the other. One car blocks the other, so if I need to go somewhere and my husbands car is in the way, I have to move it first before I can leave and vice versa. The end of the drive is onto the road, so I currently park within the line of the cobbles of our drive, and on the road part that is directly in front of my house, i.e. if you were to look out our front room my car is sat there.

A couple of days ago a neighbour but one (whom I hadn't yet met) came over and confrontationally asked me to not park there as it makes it hard for her to 'swing round' the turning circle and reverse into her driveway. She started by asking if the car had been 'abandoned' (I am a shift worker so work strange hours, but have taken it out every day for the past week!), I said it had not and I use it frequently. She also said 'as you don't drive you should move it'. Now, the gap between the back end of my car and the back end of the other car is approximately 8m wide, so she has 8m within which to reverse straight backwards. The turning circle is far wider than this, maybe 20m? I explained my car is 2/3 on my driveway, and a bit on the road directly outside my house and no one elses. She was very strange, wouldn't look me in the face or listen to what I was saying and eventually walked off.

Yesterday I decided I would move my car and block my husband in, but only because he is away at present so it isn't inconvenient. So all yesterday and today the car has been far up the driveway. However, today I get home and find a long A4 letter from an anonymous neighbour saying that the car ought to be moved because it makes it 'an obstacle course' for when the bin men come. It says 'before you began blocking the drive directly outside your house with a car' the neighbours did x y and z. This really irked me because they obviously dropped it round today, and I had moved the car by then anyway!

I've found this all a bit upsetting as we have only just moved here, found everyone isn't too friendly, my husband is away and I miss him terribly, and also I probably have PMT.

AIBU to want to park on my own driveway? I hope that all makes sense.

Financeprincess Thu 21-Nov-13 17:33:39

But isn't the problem that you're not parking on your drive, i.e. your car is protruding onto the road and causing problems for your neighbours?

I think you need to suck it up and put up with the inconvenience of shifting the cars around. Most people who live in cul de sacs have to do this; it's part of the deal and makes life easier for your neighbours. I doubt that your neighbours are objecting to your parking just for the hell of it!

LaurieFairyCake Thu 21-Nov-13 17:35:06

There are only two things that are important from your long post:

1. You have enough room to park two cars on your drive fully but you choose not to do so and instead use a small piece of the road outside yours

2. You are allowed to park in the road if there are no lines and you're not causing an obstruction. ( obstruction determined by rozzers not twatty neighbour )

Ignore her unless you think that if everyone did what you did it would cause a problem.

Shonajoy Thu 21-Nov-13 17:36:03

Total nuts. I would reply and say you can park on your driveway, she sounds like she's in charge of the street?!

Don't give an inch otherwise next week it will be something else. Totally crazy. You should of course be polite, but firm. And sign it too, how pathetic being anonymous.

LaurieFairyCake Thu 21-Nov-13 17:36:17

We have exactly the same here but unlike you we just drive each other's cars ;)

Sirzy Thu 21-Nov-13 17:37:50

If you have space to park on the drive then that is the considerate thing to do. Parking on the road when not needed, espeically when the space is tight, is inconsiderate.

Preciousbane Thu 21-Nov-13 17:38:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

starrynight19 Thu 21-Nov-13 17:38:56

I would personally heed the complaint and letter for neighbourly relations. We have to park two cars on our drive and move them which in reality is a minor inconvenience.
We also live on a cul de sac and the bin men have been known to knock on houses where cars are parked off the drive.
The circle is for turning not parking.

Methe Thu 21-Nov-13 17:38:58

Surely of you need to go out and your husbands car is at the front you just drive that?

Abra1d Thu 21-Nov-13 17:38:59

We have the same thing and we just move the cars when we need to. No big deal.

JeanSeberg Thu 21-Nov-13 17:40:12

Don't understand why you have his and hers cars. First out takes the first car, surely? Or is it a company car and against policy?

Norudeshitrequired Thu 21-Nov-13 17:41:40

It would be considerate to park on your drive, despite the inconvenience that it causes you by having to let your husband out. A lot of neighbourhood disputes are sparked by inconsiderate parking and as you are new to the street I think you should try not to park where it pisses the neighbours off.
You are parking legally and are entitled to park there, but in my opinion it isn't worth upsetting your neighbours when you have the space on your drive.

OatcakeCravings Thu 21-Nov-13 17:41:45

God your neighbors wouldn't want to live in my cul de sac, I had to knock on a neighbors door yesterday and get them to move their massive 4x4 that they had parked on the road directly opposite the across the road neighbors who had parked their 4x4 on the road and I couldn't get my wee fiesta between them to leave the steet.

Abra1d Thu 21-Nov-13 17:41:59

Sorry, meant to add, a neighbour sometimes has his teenage sons staying. They do not like moving their cars if they are all parked on the drive, one in front of the other, apparently it is too difficult. So they park one of the cars outside our house. They are perfectly within their rights but it is annoying when we have problems getting into our own drive because they are there.

SunshineMMum Thu 21-Nov-13 17:42:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HappyCliffmas Thu 21-Nov-13 17:46:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Damnautocorrect Thu 21-Nov-13 17:47:16

I think when you come home your going to have to play shuffle the cars (don't do it in the morning you'll be scraping all the cars) if this means waking your neighbours up at 4am then so be it.

I don't get this 'drive the other persons car' surely you buy cars for your journey and your choice?

Damnautocorrect Thu 21-Nov-13 17:48:27

Either that or think sod them and actually park on the road like a street without drives.
But expect hell to be unleashed!

Sparklingbrook Thu 21-Nov-13 17:49:12

I think it is not up to the neighbours to tell you what to do TBH. And anonymous letters are horrible, why does the neighbour care about the bin men so much? confused

They sound horrible-I would be getting down to the estate agents. sad

bunny100 Thu 21-Nov-13 17:50:58

Thanks for all the posts! Very helpful.

We have our own cars, we are both insured on each others but mine is a 13 year old studenty car and my husbands is a nice Audi. I tend not to drive his because I don't really feel comfortable, he wouldn't be seen dead driving to work in my car and I have to drive passengers around for work so I couldn't use his anyway.

Sorry to drip feed but the 'turning circle' is not technically circle shaped, it actually has an extra part on it for my house and next doors, which is the bit I park in. I would love to draw a diagram but I don't know if that's overkill or how I would attach it!

GhostsInSnow Thu 21-Nov-13 17:51:16

damnautocorrect I don't get it either. Can't see my DH wanting to do his commute in my 14 year old car I use for nipping DD to school and my Mother to the shops when he has a big, comfortable car for his long drive.
Not everyone leads lifestyles similar enough to share vehicles.

custardo Thu 21-Nov-13 17:52:01

i created this for you, you need to print it and post it

Sparklingbrook Thu 21-Nov-13 17:52:59

Draw a diagram-take a pic then upload it?

bunny100 Thu 21-Nov-13 17:53:13

Thanks @custardo, that's brilliant!

BlackbeltinBS Thu 21-Nov-13 17:55:30

Is it a private estate? It's possible the normal rules don't apply and there are rules saying you can't park on road.

For what it's worth our over-the-road neighbours used to have visitors who parked across their driveway, until my idiot DH reversed backwards all enthusiastically from our driveway, misjudged the distance and hit the side of their car. V embarrassing and we fessed up, but you wouldn't want that to happen to yours if it is causing a problem, regardless of the rights and wrongs of the situation.

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