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Rude guests at party

(28 Posts)
Amber76 Mon 18-Nov-13 15:36:49

I recently had a naming ceremony for our baby and we invited about 20 adults and about 15 kids back to our house for a buffet dinner - it was an evening thing from about 6 to 8ish.

I was doing all the food myself and we had cleaned and organised the house. We have 3 young kids ourselves and I put our highchair upstairs out of the way to make more space in the kitchen/living area.
I put the kids food out first and then most of the kids went upstairs to playroom. My brother in law asked where the highchair was as his wife wanted it to feed their one year old. I said I had put it in playroom upstairs as I didn't want it in the way in living area. He asked could he bring it down and I clearly said no and suggested nicely that he either feed child on his lap as others had done with their small ones or he could feed child upstairs where most of the kids now are playing. He said fine.

Five minutes later I'm bringing out the adults food and there is our large highchair plonked in the centre of the living room. I said nothing as I was just too busy with the food and he said nothing either. Our house is not that big and with a big crowd space was already tight.

Also, we had the tv turned off, covered and tv table in such a way that 2 people could sit on it - he had turned on cbeebies loudly and pointed highchair towards it.

I know that its not a big deal but I thought he was very rude. I said nothing and won't ever say anything about it to them because its not worth the argument. But I'll have a little vent here....

Would you have said something to them??

oldgrandmama Mon 18-Nov-13 15:40:30

Thoughtless and bad mannered of him. I'd have said something, but after the party - otherwise there'd probably have been an atmosphere. What did your DP think (assume it was his brother? Or was it your sister's DP?)

issey6cats Mon 18-Nov-13 15:40:50

i dont know about said something but i would have got the remote turned the telly off and walked away with the remote and you had said no to the highchair, so i would have taken the child out of it as soon as he had finished eating and plonked him in mom or dads arms and taken the high chair straight back where it was put by you earlier

TEEurkeyDay Mon 18-Nov-13 15:41:37

Mole hill. Mountain.

No. I wouldn't have said anything. Other than 'It's upstairs if you want to go grab it? Although I was hoping to not use it as it takes up so much space.'

StephenKatz Mon 18-Nov-13 15:43:04

I think turning the tv on was bad mannered. I think I would have let them use the high chair though.

Sorry to sound thick but what's a naming ceremony? Is it a Christening?

lljkk Mon 18-Nov-13 15:45:50

very rude. hmm

lljkk Mon 18-Nov-13 15:46:11

ps: but OP was wonderfully gracious in reply.

hermioneweasley Mon 18-Nov-13 15:49:50

Is it your BIL's first child?

OrangePixie Mon 18-Nov-13 16:04:08

They were rude but rise above it!

MrsTerryPratchett Mon 18-Nov-13 16:04:10

High chair - not rude. If they normally feed their child like this and you have one, no big deal. Putting the TV on at a party - rude.

Mim78 Mon 18-Nov-13 16:05:02

If he can't feed his child without high chair and CBeebies blaring then he is making a rod for his own back anyway, so take comfort in that!

Amber76 Mon 18-Nov-13 16:06:57

Bil is my husbands brother - they have two kids.
It was like a christening - a get together to celebrate the baby.

My husband thought it was rude too but he's the sort to never let these things bother him whereas I'm the sort who thinks that if you let some people away with being rude that they will go on being rude as it is "acceptable".

This is a small thing I know - its just that there have a been a series of "small things" with this particular couple.

BackforGood Mon 18-Nov-13 16:08:30

Puting the TV on at a party - beyond rude.
Borrowing your high chair to feed their little one - sounds the most sensible option to me, I think you were being odd for saying no. Awkward position then for them to be in, as clearly they hadn't brought theirs as they assumed it would be less fuss all round to use yours.

harticus Mon 18-Nov-13 16:10:47

Brother in law and wife?
So these "rude guests" were actually family then, not just some random bods from Accounts?

Families do things like this in each other's houses - don't they?
My god if I wasted time on judging my relatives' behaviour we'd never do anything.

I definitely wouldn't say anything to them OP because you'd end up looking a bit Hyacinth Bucket.

HumphreyCobbler Mon 18-Nov-13 16:12:01

If you have a small space to entertain in I would say it was entirely normal to put the high chair away. If everyone else was feeding their baby on their lap then SIL or BIL should have done that also. It was also incredibly rude to put the tv on.

dexter73 Mon 18-Nov-13 16:13:13

I think you should have let him use your highchair downstairs but he shouldn't have turned the tv on so you score 1 point each for rudeness.

CeliaFate Mon 18-Nov-13 16:15:02

Yanbu, he was rude. I wouldn't dream of doing that in my family's home, and especially not if we were having a celebration. It's not just popping in for a meal and entertaining the kids so you can have free time.
I would have turned the tv down but said nothing. My face would have said it all!

Thisisaghostlyeuphemism Mon 18-Nov-13 16:15:35

Agree with mim78!

So you said no and he just ignored you. Then he put the tv on.
He sounds like a self entitled twat. I sympathise.

Shellywelly1973 Mon 18-Nov-13 16:21:06

I think the ops point about the high chair is that all the other parents managed to feed their dc without using the high chair.

Yanbu...he was rude!

Mattissy Mon 18-Nov-13 16:23:37

I'm with MrsPratchett

Highchair, he wasn't rude but you were. He was a guest and you should've said it was ok to use.
TV, he was rude.

HumphreyCobbler Mon 18-Nov-13 16:24:49

But if there is limited space then using a highchair right in the middle is extremely anti social

ZombieMojaveWonderer Mon 18-Nov-13 16:27:56

My brother would never have done that! How bloody rude!

Thisisaghostlyeuphemism Mon 18-Nov-13 16:28:27

How on earth was she rude?!?!

She explained there was no space. She suggested he either use it upstairs or go without downstairs.

He completely ignored her. What a twat.

Kaekae Mon 18-Nov-13 16:32:19

I would have let him use the high chair. Less messy too surely? TV rude.

Mim78 Mon 18-Nov-13 16:33:25

The TV bit is worse but I don't think he should have moved the TV downstairs when you had said you'd rather he didn't. I can't see why he couldn't feed the baby on his lap or upstairs - I'd have gone for the lap option.

Did he not even put it back again afterwards? That's more rude than bringing the highchair down to use it.

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