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When you are poorer than your friends...

(28 Posts)
Notcontent Sun 17-Nov-13 21:49:17

Just wondered what your thoughts are on this.

I work in a professional job and so I am ok financially but I am also a lone parent which means that I have to be a bit careful with finances. I have some friends I sometimes go out with who earn more than I do and also they are single, so they have a much larger disposable income.

I would never want to be treated as the "poor" friend but recently I felt that they were being a bit inconsiderate towards me. Friend A organised a dinner for her birthday. We first met for a drink. I turned up with a present. Friend B insisted that we must pay for friend A's drinks as it was her birthday. Fair enough. But then we had dinner at a fairly expensive restaurant and once again friend b declared that we must pay for friend A's dinner. She meant well but to be honest I really can't afford to be so generous but of course could not say anything.

forevercosy Mon 18-Nov-13 14:13:21

JessicaBeatriceFletcher Yes I've noticed that too at times. Few years ago I went out in a big group to a restaurant. Most of the people were drinking wine, some of us (including me) weren't as we were driving.

All the wine drinkers announced that the bill should be split between us all, including the £135 drinks bill.

All in all, they'd drunk 9 bottles of £14.99 per bottle wine and expected to split it between everyone angry

We spoke up and it caused a right rift (in front of the poor waiter who had come with the bill). There were ill feelings for a few weeks afterwards (as we'd refused to split the drinks bill). We never went out again after that! thank god

TheRobberBride Mon 18-Nov-13 14:30:52

I am in this position with my NCT friends. The rest of the group are lovely but much wealthier than me.

When arranging a meal out or whatever, I always said straight away that it sounded lovely but it would need to be Pizza Express or similar as I was on a budget. I refused to feel embarrassed because I earned less than them and, to their credit, they were always very tactful about it.

In your situation OP, I think B was very insensitive. But equally, you should have said something at the time. I understand why you didn't but you do need to make it clear sometimes that you simply can't afford X. If they are really your friends they will understand.

BeigeBuffet Mon 18-Nov-13 14:46:29

I have complete sympathy for you OP, you shouldn't have been made to pay and if I were your friend I would have insisted that you didn't pay for me.

My friends and I are all in very different financial positions so we have found a local restaurant that does great food and we eat from the early bird menu which is £10 for a starter and a main. It's manageable and we all know how much to budget that way. Maybe you could suggest something similar

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