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For thinking my husbands a not so great dad.

(19 Posts)
Mummytotwox Sun 17-Nov-13 18:51:34

We have two children, a 5yo dd and 4yo ds.

He's not very hands on, apart from he does bath them on a Sunday. He raley takes them bed, has never cooked there tea, doesn't dress them, or anything. Doesn't take them out, doesn't really play with them unless it's his terms. But he think he's brilliant at punishment, and telling them off.

It feels like he doesn't talk to them, just shouts. Same with me, we can never have a conversation because he hates me "talking over him". He's always raising his voice, and i end up yelling at him to stop.

He sulks like a teenager,just now he's on the computer with music on loud, so I will "fuck off upstairs".

He's so frigging moody, like kids will do something and I will laugh, and say show daddy, he won't react hardly at all.
He puts me down in front of the kids, like yday we was out shopping, dd asked me to go to the toilet, I said daddy will take you as I was busy, he turned around and told our daughter "I was lazy and couldn't get off my arse to take her". Even though he was sat down too.

I'm sick to death of him. He never puts the kids first, he used too. When they was younger he was a much better father then he is now sad

Hassled Sun 17-Nov-13 18:55:45

YANBU. He's not a great dad. He sounds like a completely crap dad.

So - what's next? Can you see him ever changing? Can you continue to cope with him not changing?

harticus Sun 17-Nov-13 18:58:02

Not just a crap dad - a crap human by the sound of it.

Nanny0gg Sun 17-Nov-13 18:59:38

He's horrible.

Have you talked to him about it?

Catmint Sun 17-Nov-13 19:00:47

I'm really sorry to say this OP, but from what you have written he sounds utterly horrible and I struggle to imagine what yours and DC life must be like.

Ilovexmastime Sun 17-Nov-13 19:01:09

I think that you need to post this in Relationships as it sounds like you have big problems. Your DH should not be shouting all the time and he definitely shouldn't be talking to your DD about you like that.

But to answer your question, no YANBU, he sounds like a pretty crap dad to me.

JustALittleGreen Sun 17-Nov-13 19:01:54

Yanbu, he sounds vile.

Rosencrantz Sun 17-Nov-13 19:02:55

Why are you with this man?

comedycentral Sun 17-Nov-13 19:08:40

Cold & horrid man. When did he change? Any trigger?

AgentZigzag Sun 17-Nov-13 19:10:16

If you say he didn't used to be like this, is it because they're less vulnerable now and have thoughts of their own they're willing to voice that he does't like?

You have a right to an opinion on how your children are brought up, he does too of course, but if you think what he's doing is genuinely going to damage them then you have to say something.

Just tell him that his tantruming won't ever stop you from saying when you think he's gone too far. I'm sure some would pick you up on contributing when you have to shout to be heard, but the alternative is that you leave the DC at the mercy of his moods.

xCupidStuntx Sun 17-Nov-13 19:10:30

Oh my God he sounds like a horrible man!!

LindyHemming Sun 17-Nov-13 19:13:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

picnicbasketcase Sun 17-Nov-13 19:14:33

I don't really see why you're with him. He's moody, angry, throws tantrums, blocks you out of conversations, insults you to your children and refuses to do anything to help you. What are you getting out of this?

MistAllChuckingFrighty Sun 17-Nov-13 19:16:39

I concur

he's a shite partner too

sorry about that x

what are you going to do about it ?

Mummytotwox Sun 17-Nov-13 19:18:34

Because he's not like this all the time. He will have days where he's the best. Then he will switch. His dad is exactly the same.
Toke him doctors a few years ago, because I was convinced he had ADHD, but he didn't go to the follow up appointments because of work.

Nanny0gg Sun 17-Nov-13 19:22:32

Doesn't matter whether it's all of the time or some of the time.

What are you going to do about it?

MistAllChuckingFrighty Sun 17-Nov-13 20:09:05

So you will hang on for those fleeting "good times" when he deigns to treat you decently

You do realise he should treat you decently all the time don't you ?

Your bar is set far too low. What a shame for your children to be brought up in this atmosphere. I know this, because I experienced it. My mother is still with my dickhead of a father, and he still treats her like dirt.

Ilovexmastime Mon 18-Nov-13 04:08:09

Have you talked to him about his moods when he's in a good mood? Does he admit to having moods?

Spinkle Mon 18-Nov-13 06:24:31

My dad was like this.

Was horrible.

When he died none of his 5 children went to his funeral.

He was a proper arsehole. Think about your kids.

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