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AIBU to expect not to be blocked from my ex's facebook?

(138 Posts)
Blockedededed Sun 17-Nov-13 18:45:57

Ok back ground. ExDP, we get on great (?!) we have two children. I was friends with him on fb before he blocked me a few months back a few weeks before we broke up. Im friends with his mum, brothers, sil on fb because they asked 'friended' (cringe) me and they are nice and why would I say no? I was in a relationship with their son/brother/bil at the time.

Exdp moved out, but hasnt yet found a place, he see's the kids at mine a couple of times a week.

He went away for work last week for a few weeks.

His family are linking him in comments involving me, to me, on my statuses, except it doesnt work so Im left explaining that he has deleted and blocked me (fucking big cringe). All he while he has no idea the conversation is happening and he is oblivious.

I cant be arsed to go into detail but I was made to look like an insensitive arse today for commenting (innocently!) on a friends status, but ex had previously posted on. Hard to explain but I ended up looking like an insensitive bastard, all because I couldnt SEE exDP's post.

Aibu to think this 45 year old man shoud fucking unBLOCK me?!

Its pathetic, no? Ive asked tonight. I said why, all the reasons above.

Nothing in return. Still blocked.

Not fb friends, fine. But to be blocked?

RevelsRoulette Sun 17-Nov-13 18:50:34

Have you asked him face to face? It's harder to dodge a question if it's asked verbally, while you're looking at them.

Does he have someone else ? maybe trying to keep the two of you apart/you unaware?

Blockedededed Sun 17-Nov-13 18:54:58

Originally yes I wondered if he had a new gf which is why I kept quiet. I didnt want to make him feel bad for seeing someone. I certainly didnt want to give him the impression I minded.

But it appears that he is totally single. Yes I have mentioned it to him and he just laughs. I say its not funny, its fucking embarrassing. Then he is silent. Now I realise he has no idea how it is embarrassing does he? He doesnt get the cringey questions from his family as to why linking his name doesnt work...

Twirlychair Sun 17-Nov-13 18:57:14

Why would you be friends with an ex on fb? I wouldn't. It would feel so odd to have them seeing what I was doing.

Mumpiring Sun 17-Nov-13 18:57:40


This is your x. Sounds like he has some boundaries even if you don't. Would he be comfortable talking about dating and so on knowing you're reading it? It is his right to delete you isn't it? I think it's healthy tbh.
I wouldn't want my x or his family on my fb. With good reason. I don't want to know what he's doing, or thinking. I like that I don't know.

Honestly, you shouldn't be sitting around wondering if he has a new gf. Just delete him and be done.

Is deleting different from blocking?

Mumpiring Sun 17-Nov-13 18:59:34

Your family are still trying to tag him in posts?

Oh dear. I feel sorry for the guy. You're his x. Your family are his xgf's family. He just wants the lot of ye off his facebook and you're making it really awkward for him!

Blockedededed Sun 17-Nov-13 18:59:42

Who said anything about being friends with him in facebook?

I never said anything about wanting to be friends with him on facebook, nor do I want to be friends with him on facebook.


I dont have boundaries? For fucks sake.

Blockedededed Sun 17-Nov-13 19:01:10

HIS fucking family. HIS family are trying to tag HIM are demanding IM friends with THEM.

He has NONE of my family on his fb, they wouldnt do that. I DONT want to be friends with him.

FUCK 'poor him!'

MimiSunshine Sun 17-Nov-13 19:01:13

Not much you can really do. He's decided it's the way forward for him for some reason.
Someone did the same to me once, I was a bit hmm and confused but it turns out he'd done it to stop himself stalking looking at my profile all the time Maybe it's the same thing if you've broken up and he doesn't want to admit it.

Just keep telling people he's blocked you and if another embarrassing cross post happens just say sorry I can't see ExDPs comments.

JoanRanger Sun 17-Nov-13 19:04:55

Maybe he didn't want to make a stir, but also wanted distance on FB. And he chose to block you rather than unfriend?

Blockedededed Sun 17-Nov-13 19:05:37

Joan, you cannot block without unfriending.

He unfriended and blocked me in one fail swoop.

Blockedededed Sun 17-Nov-13 19:05:59

*one fell swoop

allnewtaketwo Sun 17-Nov-13 19:07:01

None of this makes any sense to me. But in any case, wouldn't the solution o be to disentangle yourself from his friends/family on FB? You sound very angry which makes it all sound very juvenile. Really don't see what you're embarrassed about on the FB front

mmmuffins Sun 17-Nov-13 19:07:38

Mumpiring, I think you are confused about how Facebook works - blocking means to the OP, her ex husband does not exist on Facebook. She can hardly do things like delete him or add him to status!

OP I do think YABU. If your ex doesn't want to be privvy to your life on Facebook, fair enough. The problem really is that you are friends with his family, and they are not aware you can't see anything he does on Facebook.

I think your best option is some combination of backing off from interaction with his family on Facebook/explaining the situation. Is unfriending his family members full stop an option?

Twirlychair Sun 17-Nov-13 19:08:48

So how does someone make you be friends with them on fb? Or are there people on your fb that you're enemies with? Isn't fb supposed to be for keeping contact with friends?

JoanRanger Sun 17-Nov-13 19:09:23

You can block or limit someone's view of what you post and what you see of what they post. You can do this without unfriending. I know, I've done it.

Just tell his family you're blocked and that's that. Looks like neither of you want to be FB friends with one another, so this should be simple.

Rosencrantz Sun 17-Nov-13 19:12:10

Have you ever thought it might be too painful for him to keep seeing your updates? I had to block my ex for a couple of months... Just seeing his name made me cry.

Fairenuff Sun 17-Nov-13 19:13:10

YABU he can block who he likes.

aquashiv Sun 17-Nov-13 19:13:15

I have no idea what you are referring to far too complicated for me but if I was you I would step away from FB an just concentrate on real life.

Blockedededed Sun 17-Nov-13 19:14:22

I agree with you mmmuffinss

Only two weeks ago during half term I had his folks stay for 4 days so they could see the kids.

I genuinely thought, I want to delete all of his family members. But when? Do I delete his folks before they come down? After, when they spent a fortune on the kids? This week when they sent the, gifts? Or next month when they give them Christmas presents?

Again, its me that looks like a proper arse. All the while his sat back, fucking oblivious.

And yes, I am angry.

Juvenile no, its not juvenile to want to avoid hurting very lovely peoples feelings.

Rockinhippy Sun 17-Nov-13 19:14:27

YABU, for all the reasons muffins has already said -

maybe he got fed up of his family hooking you up in Facebook chats, being civil for the sake of the DCs is one thing, but sounds like he wants to cut ties, which he is perfectly entitled too

CustardOmlet Sun 17-Nov-13 19:16:00

It appears a few people don't have a clue what you are trying to say! I can understand how frustrating that is, especially if there is a conversation on a common friends status and you are only seeing half of it. Can you not show him the conversations when he's over, and reassure him you don't wish to stalk him?

Blockedededed Sun 17-Nov-13 19:16:38

I very much resent being told Im juvenile and other insults mentioned above, when I have his family on my fb who after 16 years, I love very much.

He has none of my family on my fb. Sits back quite happily, looking like mr fucking perfect.

ToTheTeeth Sun 17-Nov-13 19:17:12

YABU. He can block who he likes and if he wants to exclude you from his digital world that's fine. If an ExH was preventing a MNetter from going NC we'd rightly be all over his arse.

And given how quickly you've lost it on this thread it's probably in your best interest that you can't interact with him online either.

Blockedededed Sun 17-Nov-13 19:18:02

Custard he knows I dont want to stalk him. Honestly I have no doubt at all. I know as much as he would never stalk me, I would never stalk him. I genuinely think the stalking of each other is a total none issue.

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