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I'm going to have to kill him.

(134 Posts)
CrappyDiem Sun 17-Nov-13 10:32:17

He gets words wrong. Like sharm el shay instead of sheik.

He makes noise when he eats.

He watches shit on TV.

20 fecking years I've been gently asking him not to.

I'm actually going to kill him.

LaurieFairyCake Sun 17-Nov-13 10:34:15

Can you list your faults first so we can decide if you're more annoying than him wink ?

CrappyDiem Sun 17-Nov-13 10:36:34

My only fault is that tend to be a little intolerent.

mrspremise Sun 17-Nov-13 16:32:19

...and you can't spell intolerant grin

CrappyDiem Sun 17-Nov-13 16:44:52



He has just been to 3 different supermarkets to find me pork scratchings. So I might not kill him today.

tickingboxes Sun 17-Nov-13 16:47:42

Oh bless him.

My DM pronounces it differently every time. The last time she went it was "sharmshake" but she is dyslexic, to be fair.

Pancakeflipper Sun 17-Nov-13 16:49:16

You eat pork scratchings?

<changes mind on who is the most annoying as you crack your teeth away at those shrivelled bits of skin>

fanjofarrow Sun 17-Nov-13 17:51:16

My DP is annoying too. Mind you, so am I, so we're perfectly matched. Amazing that we've made 13 years so far without killing each other, really. grin

Anniegetyourgun Sun 17-Nov-13 17:54:45

I'm fairly sure XH used to pronounce things wrong on purpose because he knew it would wind me up.

He also used to sing the Toreador song from Carmen - well, not sing it, but da da da - with the same note wrong EVERY TIME.

I killed him left the bastard. <pushes down a little earth around the patio with a toe, whistling innocently (in tune)>

lifesgreatquestions Sun 17-Nov-13 18:01:04

Mine goes through the house marking walls, knocking things over, breaking things, staining things... but he's pretty good at pronouncing things and I don't eat pork scratchings so all in all...

MikeLitoris Sun 17-Nov-13 18:04:04

My dp says labtop instead of laptop and C of E instead of CV.

I've had no choice but to kill him. He's buried under the patio already.

CrappyDiem Sun 17-Nov-13 19:13:22

Problem is, if i put him under the patio who'd cook my tea for me?

PuppyMonkey Sun 17-Nov-13 19:17:05

My DP can't say labyrinth - it comes out lab-rinth every time. Especially when that David Bowie film comes on. What a twat. My DP, not Bowie.sad

MrsWembley Sun 17-Nov-13 19:23:25

My DP loads the dishwasher wrong. I have told him and even explained why I put things where I do. He still loads it the wrong way.

IABU to put him in there?

Btw, I'd kill for a scratching right now...

MrsWembley Sun 17-Nov-13 19:25:42

Oh, and he always says 'chorit-zo', but claims he doesn't. I am nearly at the point if taking him somewhere Spanish just so that someone who knows can tell him he's doing it.

SquinkiesRule Sun 17-Nov-13 19:29:41

Yes you are going to have to kill him, make a list of all infractions and put him under a nice new patio, you will never be charged, we'll all understand.

mrspremise Sun 17-Nov-13 19:52:31

my dh says warrantee... Not warranty, not guarantee. WARANTEE!! I want to smack him every single time. He has aldo 'invented' displeasant and unpossible and seriously thought that I had 'made up' Mao Tse Tung, the douche

CloverkissSparklecheeks Sun 17-Nov-13 19:55:40

My DH says lots of words wrong, sometimes I correct him and sometimes I don't. It is really irritating but not enough to kill him yet grin

Agnesboo Sun 17-Nov-13 19:56:15

Mine says wardrome instead of wardrobe so does his mum.
But he makes me a lot of tea, has just been to buy me haribo and left me in bed until 11am this morning.

Ledkr Sun 17-Nov-13 19:57:43

Do you have pmt because I have and I fucking loath mine!
I'm only going to kill him after he's been to the Chinese.

purplewithred Sun 17-Nov-13 19:59:39

Mine says 'never' instead of 'didn't'. As in 'I never left the seat up' or 'I never finished the scratchings'. I rest my case.

Ahole Sun 17-Nov-13 20:01:51

I get words wrong as well. Its really embarrassing. I have a dh who unless he corrects me he will actually implode!

Crap on telly is subjective.

Stellapourmoi Sun 17-Nov-13 20:02:44

Oh, my kind of thread right now, as (d)h is getting soooooo on my nerves sad.

-bites fingernails all the bloody time
- is stubborn to the nth degree. Never loud and aggressive but just repeats stuff we agreed he should stop (like eating crap when ttc) (not literally)
- picking his teeth to clean them after a meal

-zones out and doesn't hear what I say and doesn't respond.


He is quite lovely overall I think but boy can he get in my tits.

enriquetheringbearinglizard Sun 17-Nov-13 20:03:47

My DP loads the dishwasher wrong. I have told him and even explained why I put things where I do. He still loads it the wrong way.

A DP who realizes there's a dishwasher and attempts to load it?
This is a rare beast.

Mine has no thought whatsoever about what happens to dirty crockery or cooking implements and yet he's till upright and breathing for now

Disclaimer, my Dp's a bit of a gem really, so have no complaints even though he has some really annoying behaviours

CrappyDiem Sun 17-Nov-13 20:03:50

He refers to himself as 'myself'

As in 'John and myself'.


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