Advanced search

To think the school was wrong to refuse to authorise absence

(94 Posts)
twofalls Fri 15-Nov-13 22:42:55

Next week will be the first anniversary of my friends death. His wife has applied for her son to have the day off so they can travel with their extended family to a place if importance to them. The head has sent back a standard letter saying they can only authorise absence in exceptional circumstances.And her request has been refused. AIBU in thinking the head was wrong? Not to mention incredibly insensitive? Surely this is pretty exceptional??

twofalls Mon 18-Nov-13 13:05:32

Thanks thumbwitch, she isn't a regular but lurks occasionally. I mentioned the Bereavement board a way back but she has joined WAY and is finding it amazingly supportive.

One of us will definitely come back to update the thread when the HT has had chance to read her letter. Hopefully she will see sense and/or find her compassion.

I am sorry about your friend Goldmandra. I hope her DS has had all the support he needs.

Goldmandra Mon 18-Nov-13 13:29:35

Thanks twofalls.

Fortunately his school was brilliant. He's 20 now and is making us all very proud smile

mummymeister Mon 18-Nov-13 13:31:39

choosparp you are an incredibly strong woman. I take my hat off to you. don't bother writing to Gove. I did that and got the most pathetic reply imaginable eventually. his view was that it is for the head to decide and no one else. in which case, the blame for this situation lies fairly and squarely with your head teacher. take the time off and don't pay the fine. you just don't need this crap from people. where has all the compassion gone? a supposedly civilised society that doesn't trust a mum to make the best decision for her kids. awful, awful awful. stay strong and do what you know is right. there are so many people on here right behind you.

Choosparp Mon 18-Nov-13 21:59:28

THanks again everyone. I got a reply at 4.30 this afternoon as follows:
Thank you for taking the time to write to me.

The new legislation does not, unfortunately, view this request as 'exceptional circumstances'. I have on reflection decided to authorise this request, as I think it is personally the right thing to do (as I did when the original request came in) and I will handle the consequences when I need to!

I appreciate that this has been a challenging year for you, Daniel and your family and trust you have a very special day on Friday.
It's all bollocks, as you have all said it's down to the HT to decide. She was caught out by my email saying how deeply upset I was by her reply, and is trying to make herself look better. No matter. I got the outcome I wanted, and 12 months on from holding my husband while his life support was switched off I haven't got the emotional energy to take it further. I did have a little dig in my reply about how each school seems to handle things differently, which I've learned from talking to other widowed parents. I hope she will know not to mess me about in future. x

scaevola Mon 18-Nov-13 22:08:57

I am so pleased you have got a good result -on the sense that the HT has decided to authorise.

HT continues, of course, to talk fluent bollocks - the new legislation leaves the determination of 'exceptional' entirely to the HT (not governors, LES, OFSTED or any other 3rd party): either she is ignorant, or weak (seeking to hide behind the bogeyman of 'legislation') or just plain nasty.

I appreciate that you will not want to prolong the correspondence on this issue. But I'd love to ask what 'consequences' she envisions, as she has (finally) acted entirely within the letter and spirit of the law.

josephinebruce Mon 18-Nov-13 22:13:58

Haven't read the entire thread - cos I'm short of time - but try appealing. It is an exceptional circumstance and can see no reason why it wouldn't be accepted.

NorthernLurker Mon 18-Nov-13 22:19:36

Presumably the Head feels she will be called to accoun by Ofsted for the absences she's authorised. In your case all she needs to say is 'that was a bereaved child' and the should surely be the end of the matter. I'm glad you've got a good result and can spend time together in peace.

Goldmandra Mon 18-Nov-13 22:26:21

That is good news. Well done for standing up to her.

I know you don't want to take this any further but you could, if the subject should arise again, suggest that she informs you of any negative consequences she incurs so that you can take the small-minded bureaucrat that imposes them to task on her behalf <sweet smile> grin

ivykaty44 Mon 18-Nov-13 22:45:05

Choosparp, I am glad you now have peace of mind to spend the day as you see fit with your ds.

I am sorry that you had to battle again at a time when your emotions and physical self are vulnerable, it is not pleasant.

I am glad though that you posted here and got advise from informed mners that was able to enable you to get the result you needed.

mygrandchildrenrock Mon 18-Nov-13 22:56:34

I'm glad it's all been sorted, but it really isn't down to the Headteacher. What the Head said is true, t he new legislation is very clear that schools are not allowed to authorise pretty much anything in term time.
It's annoying and frustrating but not the Headteacher's doing.

EATmum Mon 18-Nov-13 22:58:40

I'm pleased you now have the outcome you needed, but what a waste of emotion caused by such a blinkered attitude. I'm so sorry this has caused you pain and frustration when you have so much else to be dealing with.

Thumbwitch Mon 18-Nov-13 23:05:12

Glad she saw sense and had a touch of compassion!
Hope she takes that experience forward and doesn't put anyone else in similar position as yourself through the unnecessary pain and stress of having to fight for that little bit of consideration in the future.

Hope your day on Friday is very special. xx

twofalls Wed 20-Nov-13 18:05:55

To be fair, the head wrote again yesterday apologising and saying that she is really struggling with the new rules and is quite frustrated by them. She said she felt the school always managed attendance well before. She also gave the family a week off before J started his treatment so they could have a family holiday without question, this was before the new guidelines came in.

More evidence why Gove should just bugger off and leave it to the heads discretion. I heard of another child not being authorised to go to their grandparents funeral today.

Anyway, thanks everyone.

float62 Wed 20-Nov-13 18:45:37

I'm glad that this situation got resolved. I really am not sure what is supposed to be so 'complicated' about this new legislation, it seems pretty easy to understand to me. Here is a cut and paste of the actual wording taken from the published guidance from the Department of Education Dept for Education

Absence codes are as follows:

"Code C: Leave of absence authorised by the school
Only exceptional circumstances warrant leave of absence. Schools should consider each request individually taking into account the circumstances, such as: the nature of the event for which leave is sought; the frequency of the request; whether the parent gave advance notice; and the pupil’s attainment, attendance and ability to catch up on missed schooling."

twofalls Wed 20-Nov-13 19:28:09

Thanks for that, it's helpful.

Do you know what kind of penalties schools get if the authorise "too much" leave? And who sets what is too much?

FortyDoorsToNowhere Wed 20-Nov-13 20:16:55

Is Daniel his real name, if so ask MN to edit the post.

I am glad the school has made an U turn on this, I can't imagine what this little 8 year old and his mother has gone through through this last year, and I hope having this day off will help them with the grief they must feel every single second of every day.

NoSquirrels Wed 20-Nov-13 21:49:59

Choosparp, I'm sorry for your loss. I hope the anniversary brings you comfort amidst the painful memories.

I had to take my DC out of school for one day this term, for personal family reasons. DC is only Reception age, so on a personal level I'm fine with it (nothing to miss schooling-wise IMO in one day in the first term of school before you're five!) but I was uncomfortable about it, because I know the rules have changed and so I knew it was pointless asking for "permission" as such, because the permission would be denied. However, I really really don't agree with lying. And as it's first term at school, the school itself has no idea what kind of attitude I have to attendance, and I worried it would make us look troublesome.

I decided best thing to do was to write, with sufficient notice and giving the reasons, and state that I knew the school could not authorise absence but that DC would be off school on X date.

I got a great short-but-sweet email back to say "Sorry to hear your news, thanks for letting us know." I neither know nor care what code they fill in on the official register, I am reassured that they aren't going to fine me for it and I have satisfied my conscience. I thought it was a great response from the school, and completely in line with the new regs.

Thumbwitch Thu 21-Nov-13 02:11:35

float - maybe there is another document that has been sent out to Headteachers, explaining what can and can't be counted as "exceptional" circumstances?

NadiaWadia Thu 21-Nov-13 03:27:48

twofalls seriously, a child was not 'authorised' to go to their grandparent's funeral? That's appalling, how can they justify that? I hope the child went anyway, and the parents put in a complaint.

Things seem to have got just ridiculous lately. A few years ago my DCs had to have time off for a great-grandparent's funeral. I let the school know they would be absent. I didn't ask, just told them, and they didn't say anything.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now