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To worry about letting ebay stranger in my house in the evening?

(26 Posts)
Boiing Mon 11-Nov-13 19:17:24

Not sure if I'm being over cautious or not, what would you do? I live alone with a baby. I recently sold some furniture on ebay for a price I was pleased with. The buyer has paid electronically so I have the money, but I need to arrange for him to pick up the furniture. He's insisting on a weekday evening and says he can't guarantee what time (I asked for before 7pm as baby goes to sleep then and carrying furtniture out door will definitely wake baby and make him yell).

If he'd agree to a specific time I was going to get my neighbour to pop round in advance to sit with me and baby so that I wouldn't be on my own with some random man from the Internet. But he doesn't seem able to do that, he didn't say why. I guess he must work shifts or something.

It's beginning to feel a bit weird and his emails are abrupt and grumpy, and I'm wondering if I should just refund his money and forget it. But then I think I'm being silly and should just tell him to pop round in the evening as I'm here.

What would you do? I'm feeling a bit bullied. Have told him I can do anytime before 7pm on any day, surely that's fair enough? At the moment he doesn't have my address but if I reply to this evening's email I'll need to give it. hmm

MarjorieChardem Mon 11-Nov-13 19:19:51

Stick to your guns or do it when you have someone over. Always trust your instinct with stuff like this, always!

scurryfunge Mon 11-Nov-13 19:20:41

Can you take the piece outside ready for him so he can come and just pick up from the drive/ garage whatever so you don't need to be taking it through the house late in the evening?

HoneyDragon Mon 11-Nov-13 19:21:35

Be straight, as him to specify a time slot he wishes to arrive. State that you don't want to be alone on case your baby wakes and you want to make sure your oh/housemate/lodger whatever is present.

That way you are indicating you are not normally alone. If he's not a creep he'll be happy to accommodate your request.

rundontwalk Mon 11-Nov-13 19:22:35

Anything that makes you feel uncomfortable needs to be listened to. Before giving this person your address, I would say that unless he can confirm a time,or collect in the day (even then,do you want him in your house if you're alone?) you will be refunding his money. Keep it short & simple,don't get into the why's or wherefore's of it all.

He is probably just being a bit of a pain without anything sinister but why take the risk?

FunkyBoldRibena Mon 11-Nov-13 19:22:48

Ok...never ever accept paypal for things that are being picked up as they can claim that they haven't received them and they get their money back. By then they also have the goods.

I'd refund personally anyway. Then tell him he can collect and pay in cash preferably at the weekend.

neunundneunzigluftballons Mon 11-Nov-13 19:23:11

Absolutely YANBU he must give a time and I would definitely have a neighbour there. You are meeting a complete stranger and you want to take by any definition precautions.

lottiegarbanzo Mon 11-Nov-13 19:24:05

Has he said he cannot be there before seven, or is he just being vague?

If he's not said no, he probably just can't predict which day he'd be able to leave work in time, so you might have to say 'any day this week before seven' and either have your neighbour on standby, or accept that you might be on your own.

Essentially, I think you have to choose between him potentially waking your baby, or not knowing in advance which day he's coming so you can arrange with the neighbour. Or, if both are important enough to you, cancel, refund and be apologetic.

neunundneunzigluftballons Mon 11-Nov-13 19:24:30

Reasonable where did you go reasonable......... The last line should say reasonable

MammaTJ Mon 11-Nov-13 19:26:24

Can he ring or text when he is on his way, so you have time to get the neighbour over?

Definitely do not have him in your house alone.

Refund and get cash too.

KumquatMay Mon 11-Nov-13 19:26:24

I'd go with your gut. I know freecycle is a bit different but I always make sure someone commits to a collection time before I give my address. If he's not committed enough to state a time (even on one or two possible days) then you don't need to feel pressured to give personal info.

moldingsunbeams Mon 11-Nov-13 19:29:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hettienne Mon 11-Nov-13 19:32:14

Refund the money, give him a few times he can collect and let him choose. Cash on collection.

FortyDoorsToNowhere Mon 11-Nov-13 19:34:22

leave feedback on collection would be proof.

listen to your instincts

HarrietSchulenberg Mon 11-Nov-13 19:44:11

But he isn't some random man from the internet - he's a man you've agreed to sell some furniture to. And he's paid you for it. When he bid he didn't know you you would be alone with a baby (unless your ebay name is solomumwithbaby or something) so he's hardly going to be a predator.
Just get him to confirm a day then have the stuff ready to go. He's hardly going to want to stick around for small talk: he just wants his furniture.
Agree with everyone else re cash on collection.

RedHelenB Mon 11-Nov-13 19:48:49

Why not get him to sign a written receipt instead?

Mylovelyboy Mon 11-Nov-13 19:49:58

I think you should not be alone with this guy. Could be a wrong-un. You need someone with you in the house. Also this person needs to give you a specific day and time for collection.

HairyPorter Mon 11-Nov-13 19:52:43

I wouldn't have an issue with it. A lot of my friends don't finish work till after 7 and can't commit to a time if they are working on a project. Depends where you are really. A house in the middle of nowhere may not be as safe as a flat in a city where there's usually always someone around. But do what you're comfortable with!

BlingLoving Mon 11-Nov-13 19:54:13

I think it's perfectly acceptable to ask him to commit to a time but yabu to insist its before 7. When I am working I could never make a pre 7 pm slot.

If he wants to come later, say fine but tell him to come at a pre agreed time such as 7:30. Then yes, get a neighbour or friend to be there.

QuintessentialShadows Mon 11-Nov-13 19:55:16

My guess is that he is using a courier to pick it up, and does not know himself when the courier will arrive. Why dont you ask him to send you a text when he is 10 minutes away so you can ensure you have somebody with you ensure you are in?

RubyRR Mon 11-Nov-13 19:57:33

Do you have your neighbours number? You could ring as he arrives and your neighbour could listen in.

ImperialBlether Mon 11-Nov-13 20:14:17

Ask your neighbour whether you can give their address - when he knocks there she can say you're storing it for her.

Ruffcat Mon 11-Nov-13 20:15:18

Just tell him you work so he needs to come between (time) or ( time) on a different day.

I was really nervous the first time I ebay collection only.

A few tips are have some change in you pocket if they are paying cash

Have the item ready behind the door.

If they ask to use your toilet say its broken.

If you have a hall close the door to your living/kitchen room.

specialsubject Mon 11-Nov-13 20:18:32

accepting paypal for collected items is asking to be ripped off. He collects, says he never got the items, opens a case and gets refunded. Paypal WILL NOT DO ANYTHING unless you have an online trackable courier. It's a classic scam.

so tell him it is cash on collection and refund his payment.

Boiing Mon 11-Nov-13 20:23:51

Thanks for the replies, really appreciate it. Good point about getting cash instead of paypal, I hadn't thought of buyers pretending not to receive it. I'm not very good at this ebay stuff, normally I just use it to buy the odd cheap baby stuff.

After I read your responses I spoke to my neighbour and she's agreed to come and sit with me when he comes. I've also sent the buyer a cutoff time after which I'll just cancel the deal. Fingers crossed it will be simple! If it was better weather I'd just leave the furniture outside but it's been raining here all week.

Thanks again x

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