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AIBU or is the school?

(236 Posts)
extremepie Wed 06-Nov-13 12:58:38

I have 2 ds's who attend the same school just over a mile from our house.

Since the start of school the head has been moaning at me about the kids coming into school late - to be fair they are late most days but I have explained the reasons why several times to the head as follows:

I don't drive and rely on the bus which arrives at the school between 8.50-8.55, school starts at 8.45 so not a huge difference and obviously I can't control the bus times

The bus only runs once an hour so my only other option would be to take the boys in early for breakfast club - except for the fact that it costs £5.40 a day for breakfast club & I can't afford this

I have no friends or family who can give me a lift

My youngest has asd and cannot walk independently, he also doesn't attend school for full days meaning I have to do 3 school runs a day, 8.45, 1.30 & 3.15. If i walk to school in the morning I miss the bus back, then I have to walk up again at half one meaning I normally would have to walk between 5 and 6 miles a day just to take them to school & back!

I can't afford taxis every day

Knowing all these circumstances AIBU to take them to school 5-10 mind late everyday and expect the school to be a little more understanding?

LaurieFairyCake Wed 06-Nov-13 13:02:40

I appreciate everything you're saying

But you still have to get them to school on time.

Move closer? Cut back on other things to get taxis? Pay another parent for lifts ? Get a bike with seats on the back and cycle?

How long will being late happen for? If it's to the end of their school career then you have to do something.

If it's just this year then maybe it would be ok.

Remember that as they get older the more being late will stress the children out - they need to be on time for them

KerwhizzedMyself Wed 06-Nov-13 13:02:41

Is there a medical reason why you can't walk 5 or 6 miles a day?

LaurieFairyCake Wed 06-Nov-13 13:03:50

Thought of another idea. Get the early bus but don't go to breakfast club - ask to go in the hall, go for a walk, go to the local shop and use it as an excuse to get a few bits?

PeppiNephrine Wed 06-Nov-13 13:04:44

Its only a mile away? Why would you need a bus then? Get a bike, walk with your children and cycle back.
I do three school drop offs in the morning and three seperate ones in the afternoon and they are all over a mile away. Walk or cycle.

Bramshott Wed 06-Nov-13 13:05:00

I'm afraid you just have to get them to school on time, and if that means being 45 minutes early then that's how early you'll have to be.

How far is it to school? If it's only 5 or 6 miles on four trips (there and back, there and back), I'm guessing it's not actually that far, so walking could be a better option. Does your youngest DS have a buggy or wheelchair if he can't walk independently?

justaquickone Wed 06-Nov-13 13:05:30

I get what your saying .

But being late for school where I am you get marked absent so maybe this is why they are asking you to sort your lateness .

happy2help Wed 06-Nov-13 13:05:33

Is there an earlier bus?

Scholes34 Wed 06-Nov-13 13:06:36

A mile really isn't very far, and six miles a day for an adult isn't excessive. How long would it take to walk? Our primary was over a mile away through residential streets with no bus option anyway. I know very little about ASD. How does it impact on being able to walk to school?

friday16 Wed 06-Nov-13 13:06:36

I normally would have to walk between 5 and 6 miles a day just to take them to school & back!

So what? I walk seven miles a day, 3.5 each way, to the office. Do you have some medical problem which means that you can't do a 35 minute walk three times a day?

justaquickone Wed 06-Nov-13 13:07:55

Just noticed its only a mile away .

My Ds also has ASD & can't walk independently so I use one of those little life bags .
A mile really isn't that far

Kaygunner Wed 06-Nov-13 13:07:55

I have spd atm and I still need to do trip to first school, trip to youngest school for 1, then trip to school for pick up then my other school for pick up, takes me an hr to walk to youngests school everyday I manage to get an hr to myself (if I manage to get home lol) but they still get their on time, I walk 6miles a day for this and understand it's hard but it's important and children need to learn timekeeping once they get to secondary school and even work time management is important.

nosleeptillbedtime Wed 06-Nov-13 13:08:00

A mile isn't far, but as you have to do three trip a day I can see how this is a lot of time out of your day. I don't think being 5 mins late a day is that bad. Won't they only be doing the register a this time, and not lessons?

Blossomflowers Wed 06-Nov-13 13:08:18

May I ask how old your DS's are?

dixiechick1975 Wed 06-Nov-13 13:09:04

What services are you in touch with for your youngest?

Wondering if wheelchair services could assist with a maclaren major pushchair so you could walk and mush your youngest.

IslaValargeone Wed 06-Nov-13 13:09:29

I can't really see how walking to school is a problem unless you have a medical condition?
I can see why the school are not being understanding tbh.

ilovesooty Wed 06-Nov-13 13:09:39

Sorry, but nothing you have stated is an acceptable reason for regular lateness to school. It sounds as though distance wise it's quite walkable and you need to get a system sorted for younger child to get to shool.

happy2help Wed 06-Nov-13 13:10:55

They can't really have one rule for one and one for another, the school has to be seen at least to be trying to enforce good time keeping, so you can't really expect them not to have a problem with it.

BlackeyedSusan Wed 06-Nov-13 13:11:50

I was also going to suggest a mclaren major and push him to school

TantrumsAndBalloons Wed 06-Nov-13 13:12:23

Have you discussed this with the school?

It is very disruptive for children to continually arrive late, even if it is just 5 or 10 minutes and it cant be very nice for your dcs to be always late.

BettyBum Wed 06-Nov-13 13:12:49

5-10 minutes a day means they are missing a lot of school spread over a year

< Would work this out if I wasn't so awful at maths>

SkullyAndBones Wed 06-Nov-13 13:13:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

5madthings Wed 06-Nov-13 13:13:25

Can you get any help from the council due to your sons sn's.

Tbh I walk that far twice a day so spend almost three hours a day on school runs, in Jan my toddler starts at ore school, half days so I will be doing the same walk three times a day.

I leave at 8:10 to walk to school, am home by 9:30. Will have to leave at 11:30 to be back by 12:00, then home by 12:40 then back out at 2:40 to be at school for 3:15 and home by 4pm. It's a pita in winter bit they have to be on time.

Minnieisthedevilmouse Wed 06-Nov-13 13:13:56

For how long do you see this situation continuing? 1 month? 6? Til 12yrs?

Really don't see why in a whole school you are special although appreciate the pita it's unfortunately bit small fry

JacqueslePeacock Wed 06-Nov-13 13:14:33

What about cycling? With a bike seat or a tagalong bike attachment for your younger DS? I don't think you can really carry on being 5-10 minutes late every day.

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