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If that cat had AIBU...

(182 Posts)
Greenandcabbagelooking Wed 06-Nov-13 12:03:49

AIBU to think it is perfectly okay to wind myself around the human's legs so she falls over. Then headbutt her whilst she's on the floor? I only wanted some food...

What would your pet be saying?

MyCatAndI Wed 06-Nov-13 12:06:54

AIBU to think it is my right to wake up the human at 4am every morning to play.

SooticaTheWitchesCat Wed 06-Nov-13 12:09:00

AIBU to think my owner shouldn't be restricting my treats? Surely this is really mean and selfish, I mean I only want a pack a day!

Greenkit Wed 06-Nov-13 12:09:16

To hide by the stairs and dive at my owner, while she makes her way to the loo at 'stupid o'clock'

absentmindeddooooodles Wed 06-Nov-13 12:11:06

Aibu to think that it is perfectly acceptable to sit at the door and meow LOUDLY until im let in......and then 3 seconds later dexide that I dont infact want to be inside and start meowing at the door LOUDLY.

I think its perfectly acceptable that I do this on average 50 times a day.

Also I refuse to use the window and my owners cannot put a cat flap in.

keelyboo Wed 06-Nov-13 12:11:25

aibu to think its ok to go through the bag of recycling rubbish on the off chance there may be food in there, it doesn't matter there never is the chance is always there so ianbu am I?
and also ianbu to shoot past my owner (on her left side got to be the left side shes blind in that eye see) so she never sees me coming into the bedroom, then cry like a newborn baby when she shuts the door on me ianbu to think shes stupid yes and should KNOW im in there?

my male cat is a twat lovely thing

AscoyneDAscoyne Wed 06-Nov-13 12:11:27

Aibu to expect to have the whole sofa to myself? There's a perfectly good floor that she can sit on.

TooTabooToBOOOOO Wed 06-Nov-13 12:12:29

Don't flame me...

DH (darling human) just doesn't "get" me. I have basic needs, she won't meet them. What should I do?

I know the relationship is take, take, but why won't she get on board with this?

I need eleventy million feeds a day. She needs to be able to turn the fireworks off so I can go out and prowl (see also rain). She thinks it's ok to feed me 3 times a day. It doesn't matter how ofter I paw, cry, wind around her legs, lick the baby, she just refuses to pander to my needs.

I don't think I'm being too high maintenance. I only scratch and bite occasionally these days.


Evil Cat

FeisMom Wed 06-Nov-13 12:27:48

So if stupid adult slaves won't get up at 5.30am to give me the first of my several breakfasts, IANBU if I go wake the mini slaves to do it? Right? Right, of course I am right!

What is wrong with the slaves getting up to open the door? I know that there is a small square opening at the bottom of the door that they refer to as the cat flat, but why would I want to go through there when I can just howl or scratch and they can come and open the door. AIBU?

GERTgert06 Wed 06-Nov-13 12:30:08

AIBU to think it's wrong of Grandma to get cross when I try to race her going downstairs? She says it's because I run diagonally under her feet, but I think it's because I always win!

MatryoshkaDoll Wed 06-Nov-13 12:32:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AthelstaneTheUnreadyFucker Wed 06-Nov-13 12:34:29

If I have the back legs of a mouse and a rabbit's eyeball to dispose of, surely the middle of the rug is the best place? The owner of the house says not, but last week I stuffed some under the sofa and in one boot, and she wasn't happy about that either. So AIBU to put them in the most visible place?

SpottyDottie Wed 06-Nov-13 12:35:47

AIBU to think that as I have beautiful cream fur it matches her dark clothes perfectly?

UriGeller Wed 06-Nov-13 12:36:51

I'm flipping starving and she <disdainful glance in direction of human> hasn't fed me in aaaaaaages.

AIBU to go and catch a mouse, eat that and then puke in her slippers to show her?

Repeatedlydoingthetwist Wed 06-Nov-13 12:42:02

AIBU to have decided that going out the back door is not for me, and that I'd only like to use the front door from now on. And also I think it's up to ME if I want to sit in the middle of the road, I'm a fully grown cat and don't appreciate being embarrassed by all of the shouting in the street.

GERT YANBU ref the stairs. I do that too but I think she's getting wise to it. Something about not wanting to drop the baby if she fell down the stairs? Where's her sense of adventure?!!

eddiemairswife Wed 06-Nov-13 12:46:04

It wasn't my fault that when i jumped on the keyboard of her computer it froze and she couldn't turn it off. It wasn't my fault that she then had a sleepless night, and spent an hour on the phone this morning to her daughter trying to sort it out. She needs to 'woman up' and become computer literate.

QOD Wed 06-Nov-13 12:57:15

Why does DH need an entire 6ft by 3ft bed to herself? She only needs 4ft by 1 if she lies on her side against the cold wall. Selfish bitch

fackinell Wed 06-Nov-13 12:58:19

AIBU to need out for a poo at 4.30am every day and to waken my DOwner by batting all of the bedside table stuff to the floor and biting her if that doesn't work? It's not my fault I only want to use my litter box for wees and that the cat flap doesn't open if I lie on my back and kick it. I don't want to mess up my gorgeous ginger 'mane' by head butting it like my dopey brother! shock

woozlebear Wed 06-Nov-13 13:00:39

AIBU to shout, scratch the carpet and bang on their wardrobe door every morning at 5am when my lazy useless humans sleep until 7am and I want my breakfast?!?! And then if they put my outside the bedroom so they can carry on sleeping, AIBU to bang on the bedroom door until they let me back in?

Also, AIBU to scratch the arms of the nice new sofas eleventy million times a day? Is it not my catly right to be able to mark my things without the humans shouting at me, taking my paws off the sofa and trying to make me use the stupid scratching post they bought? The sofas are much more satisfying. Also it amuses me. I scratch one arm, the humans jump around and shout, I stop, then a minute later I scratch another one, and so on. I find it a good way to pass the evenings.

CarpeVinum Wed 06-Nov-13 13:03:10

AIBU to be deeply hurt that my hooman displayed an outragous degree of ungratitude towards my present of the day ?

What kind of woman would turn her nose up at a decapitated rat plonked on the sofa next to her ? (was aiming for lap, but missed due to sheer wieght of headless rat making it hard to make a leap at the right angle)

Maybe she is just grabby and wants a much, much bigger one. Is a small dog sized rat really too small for non festive day gift giving ?

Perhaps it was becuase I interuppted her viewing of The Walking Dead from behind a cushion but surely cattiquette requires you put aside your viewing preferences to coo over lovingly procured pressie, not scream obsecnities like a hysterical banshee ?

woozlebear Wed 06-Nov-13 13:04:14

QOD.....LTB grin

EatingAllTheCrumpets Wed 06-Nov-13 13:05:30

I don't think any self respecting feline would post in AIBU, it would all be in relationships, and all the other cats would demand the poster LTB

Mine would say;
I'm not sure what to do, I meow as loud as I can at 4 am, she ignores me. I know violence is not the answer but I had no option but to bite her several times.
She just doesn't understand I need attention/food all the time.

Also the other night when it was raining I wanted to sit by the patio door with the door open all night, the cow bag insisted it was shut. She is beyond selfish. She always takes the big share of the food too. The other day she had sausages and mash and peas, she expected me to be happy with a scoop of mash and a few measly peas. And only half a sausage. I just can't cope with her behaviour any more.

Mmelindor Wed 06-Nov-13 13:06:07

AIBU to post here, even though I am a dog? It does say 'By pets, for pets' at the top of this here, and I think that I should be able to post here too.

What about the dooooooooooooooooooooooogzzzzzzzzzzzzz?

stickysausages Wed 06-Nov-13 13:08:01

I'm sick of my staff owners getting snippy, when I eat a whole meal & then barf on the carpet seconds later... I even try to make it artistic... by taking a run at it... or puking from the top of the kitchen cabinets...

CarpeVinum Wed 06-Nov-13 13:10:44

Eating is right.


And there would be no bunfighting cos all catsters would agree OC was 100% reasonable.

All you'd have to do is monitor for troll posts organised by invaders from DogsNet. Who would be all bark and no bite and slink off with their tails between their legs after OlifuriaCNHQ shooed them off with a hairball-esque "Ahem-yak-hufffuggggg-yak-yak-Splat"

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