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To not buy dd1 the "ONLY thing in the world" she wants for xmas/birthday?

(214 Posts)
D0oinMeCleanin Wed 06-Nov-13 10:15:03

She will even "sell me her Kindle Fire, 3DS, ipod nano, ipig and her soul" if I buy her one. She tried to sell me her Xbox, until I pointed out that it was not hers to sell and already belonged to me grin She won't sell me her bike, she loves it too much.

She wants an ipad air. I do not want to buy her one. Not because we cannot afford one, it would be a big chunk of our christmas budget and she'd have to not do any big birthday celebrations, but we could afford one just.

The reason I do not want to buy her one is that a) I begrudge paying Apple's prices which I believe are massively inflated simply because it is an Apple product and people blindly believe they are best (although admittedly upon looking further into it ipad air is very impressive, but then so is the new Google Nexus) and b) Going on what she is wanting to use it for, there are more suitable, cheaper tablets out there for her, that do the job just as well but without Apple's price tag.

She is wanting it primarily for taking photos and videos, watching movies on the go and playing minecraft. The Galaxy Tab 2 is just as suitable for her. It's processor is slower, but as she is not as massive gamer, she'll hardly notice this and it's camera is not as good, but she is not a photographer, she wants it simply to take photos of her dogs to edit in photo editor/whatever it is she uses, a 3MP camera will do the job adequately. When it comes to watching movies, the ipad air has a much better display, however once you get past 1080p, the difference is hardly noticeable, imo, the Tab 2 has a bigger screen (something which she would notice) and plays a higher number of file types, meaning less pestering me to convert files for her and the Tab 2 has expandable memory, which she will need.

She also wants Skype/Facetime etc. to keep in touch with her Aunt. Both devices have HD web cams.

And the biggest bonus is that the Tab 2 is significantly cheaper. I do not believe the Air is £200+ better than the Tab 2. Plus 2 weeks after she gets it, she'll be moaning she's run out of space on it and asking me where her memory card is so she can swap it for a bigger one, just like she did with her ipod and kindle fire.

I've spoken to her about this and she is adamant that it is ONLY the ipad air she wants, although she is unable to tell me why beyond "It's the best because it's ipad and all my friends have one and Mr. X (her new teacher) has one because it's the best and if he says it's the best, it must be the best, btw we also need to buy a Mac because they are better than Windows PCs"

If she can't have the ipad Air, she'd rather have the cash to save towards the ipad, than the Tab 2.

She's a bit of a sheep and easily sold to.

SavoyCabbage Wed 06-Nov-13 10:44:43

Yanbu to not get her one no.

especially as she's already got a 3DS, iPod,nano and a kindle fire. I would try to steer her in another direction. My dd is getting water paints and an easel for Christmas. She is 10 too.

noblegiraffe Wed 06-Nov-13 10:46:50

If she wants to watch movies on the go then I would strongly suggest she doesn't get an iPad. Getting content like movies onto the iPad is an utter pain in the arse and if you haven't bought it from iTunes, possibly even a non-starter.

I have an iPad, my DH has an android tablet. He can just drag and drop movies from a memory stick onto his tablet and it's a piece of piss. I've given up trying with my iPad, especially where iTunes is involved. It's awful.

D0oinMeCleanin Wed 06-Nov-13 10:46:59

Most tablets have a keyboard that attaches to it but you usually have to buy them separately. The one dd1 was showing me yesterday which comes with the keyboard as standard (and if dd1 knows about it's the one that's been advertised on the telly box a lot) is a Microsoft one and is about £700 and is more of a mini computer than a tablet, I'd say it's aimed at business users and students rather than people who just want a tablet. dd1 would've have had that instead of an ipad hmm and one day pigs will fly

We did a lot of research into this last night. Or rather I did a lot of research into this last night while dd1 sat next to me listing all the things she would sell to pay towards the ipad air, including but not limited to her soul and her sister shock

She's very tecchy, she takes after me in that, unfortunately she does not really understand tech very well yet, so tends to blindly want what the Telly box tells her to want or what her friends have.

She doesn't spend hours and hours on tech so that doesn't concern me. Her bike is used far more than her Kindle atm.

HeeHiles Wed 06-Nov-13 10:47:06

YANBU - have a chat about the power of advertising and marketing and how they want you to want stuff you don't need!

I refused to buy my dd a Wii last Christmas - 'But all my friends have got one!' 'Good! Go play with theirs then!'

Needless to say her friends' Wii's are no longer played with!

LaurieFairyCake Wed 06-Nov-13 10:47:56

I've got a Kindle Fire and it's fine

And she has an iPod too?

That's a lot of good stuff already. Perhaps a zoo membership and some nice days out would provide her with a more rounded experience wink

D0oinMeCleanin Wed 06-Nov-13 10:52:04

She has my old ipod, Laurie, she didn't get a new one.

CoffeeTea103 Wed 06-Nov-13 10:52:24

You are the adult , just say no.
Her refusing everything else after you have explained the logic shows she needs to learn some appreciation rather than asking for things without good reason. Besides you shouldn't sacrifice your budget just to please her.

CerealKillerMom Wed 06-Nov-13 10:53:07

Compile a spreadsheet of all the applications/add ons/insurance etc... various tablets have, with cost at top. Work out which one you'd be prepared to pay for and give her (bank) the money and explain why you think 'x' one is better (see spread sheet for details!). She can either have the one you chose right now or save the difference for the Apple.

A Hobson's choice for her

SavoyCabbage Wed 06-Nov-13 10:54:06

Well, it sounds like you have made up your mind.

Grennie Wed 06-Nov-13 10:54:30

Personally I would buy it, but ask her to contribute.

hellsbellsmelons Wed 06-Nov-13 10:54:55

£700 present at 10 YO - NO!!!!
That's absolute madness.
Stick to your guns.

FestiveEdition Wed 06-Nov-13 10:57:45

Surely we all remember the one Christmas when we didn't get the one thing in all the world which we wanted. It doesn't damage us as people, but there is always a memory of the disappointment.

So, I am going to go against the flow and say you should reward your daughter for her willingness to sacrifice other gifts, to sell other items (at least the ones that she owns, not yours!!) in order to fund the thing she wants. It seems to me that while she may be susceptible to marketing, she is also very switched on to knowing she can't have something just for the asking, she understands the concept of saving for something you truly want .....and she is growing up enough that her wants and yours may not always coincide. That divergence will widen a lot over the the coming years.

Give her the money. Ask her if she wants only money, to get the biggest boost to the fund, or mainly money and a couple of small bits to open.
Be proud of the determined daughter you have raised, and support her effort to be very grown up about how she addresses her 'wants'.
I would be, if she were mine smile

Ragwort Wed 06-Nov-13 10:58:41

I can't believe you are even considering spending £700 on a child's Christmas present? Are you made of money grin?

TheSkiingGardener Wed 06-Nov-13 10:58:48

Give her the money to save for it. Make her work for it. Remind her of all the work when it doesn't do enough.

At some point she needs to learn that the marketing should be taken with a large pinch of salt. Let her learn it by going without other presents and some hard graft.

FruitSaladIsNotPudding Wed 06-Nov-13 10:59:50

I'd give her enough money for a perfectly good tablet, and let her choose whether to buy one or save up for the iPad. I'm not a big fan of giving kids expensive tech, but if it's really all she wants, I would let her have it, with the caveat that she has to save a hefty chunk of the money herself.

FestiveEdition Wed 06-Nov-13 11:01:44

I may not have been clear .... I am not suggesting you give her the entire amount needed to buy. Just as much as you consider appropriate for her main Christmas present.
She needs to follow through on the saving/selling options to fund the rest.

CiderwithBuda Wed 06-Nov-13 11:03:50

We went Apple a couple of years ago (cos I wanted an iPad for my birthday and nothing else would do grin). We also bought a MacBook. DS is 12 and although he uses the MacBook he doesn't like it much. And I think Minecraft on the iPad is only Minecraft Lite. So that might be an issue for her if she wants full Minecraft.

D0oinMeCleanin Wed 06-Nov-13 11:04:26

I'm not Ragwort, someone asked further up the thread if I knew which tablet has the keyboard, if it's the same one dd1 knows about, then it's the microsoft one, which is around £700 and there is no way in hell dd1 is getting it. The ipad air is "only" (dd1's words, not mine) £400. The Tab 2, the one I would be willing to buy her is £199 new, although I'd be looking into getting a refurbed or second hand one.

SaucyJack Wed 06-Nov-13 11:05:34

Surely we all remember the one Christmas when we didn't get the one thing in all the world which we wanted. It doesn't damage us as people, but there is always a memory of the disappointment.

That's why, as a parent, you have a responsibility to keep your DCs expectations realistic.

My DD asked for an iPad for Xmas months ago. I laughed. She amended her list to a Monster High doll and leopard print onesie. Job done.

The OP should not even have discussed it in the first place with her DD.

ThreeMyselfAndI Wed 06-Nov-13 11:07:35

I am with you apple are shit and charge a fortune, we done alot of looking about and enquiries and were told each time Samsung is superior, and we agree and wouldn't touch apple products if they were free, why not fet her the 10inch tab 3? they are fantastic and have a player apple don't to watch online movies.

wannaBe Wed 06-Nov-13 11:08:36

one of the benefits to getting an iPad is that if she already has an iPod the apps will be transferrable e.g. minecraft etc, whereas if you buy an android tablet you will need to fork out for all new apps. That being said, my ds has an iPad but the phone he is getting for his birthday is an android because it's only £20 on a £10 contract so he would be getting an iPhone over my dead body. grin

But if she wants an iPad then I would look at the iPad mini over an air it's £££ less expensive and the only real benefit to the air is that it's thinner.

I have an iPad mini with a Logitech Bluetooth keyboard, the keyboard cost about £60 and is great because it's also a cover/screen protector.

aquashiv Wed 06-Nov-13 11:10:41

So she is ten years old already has all this expensive gadgetry and is holding you to ransom for more? Only you can answer whether to get your dd the latest gadget personally hell would freeze over before I would waste my money on such an expensive item for a child. I think she needs to appreciate all she has first.

PeppermintScreams Wed 06-Nov-13 11:11:16

I would get her to write down a wish list of what she wants and what she needs. Then make a list together of the prices and specs of all the tablets out there, their prices, and what sort of money will get towards them. (From you, and from selling her old stuff) Then let her stew on it for a few weeks.

Has she looked at the newer kindle fire HDX models? Maybe she'll be happyish with a top spec Kindle?

fanoftheinvisibleman Wed 06-Nov-13 11:12:40

We just got a Galaxy tab 2 (and a samsung wi fi enabled camera) 'free' with dh's mobile contract and to be honest I'm well impressed. I think apple has the monopoly on brand snobbery. Didn't I hear though the other day that Samsung are now outselling apple worldwide now? I honestly think they are a good affordable alternative.

FestiveEdition Wed 06-Nov-13 11:12:54

why is it not OK to reward a child who is prepared to sacrifice other gifts, in order to save money so she can buy something she truly wants?
(and which is likely to be on sale for considerable cheaper, after Christmas!!)
I see it as teaching a lot about saving, about not just getting something for the asking but having to sacrifice for it. And also about marketing ploys, if she does discover that it doesn't quite perform as she thought.

Of course its easy to just say no, have the one I choose for you, but that doesn't teach much more than disappointment, really.
This sounds like a determined, bright child, with sensible parents. Why not encourage good traits for adult life, when you can?

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