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to ask if you were going on a first date with a solicitor in his 50s (OD of course) what would be good topics of conversation?

(62 Posts)
EllenNotHelen Wed 06-Nov-13 00:34:15

Haven't had date for ages and now I'm about to see this solicitor and I'm getting nervous. We've done the messaging thing and lots of amusing banter, but feeling he might think I'm a bit dim and boring (I'm not, just my insecurities) so thought if I had a few conversation pieces in mind it might help.

<< slopes off feeling sad a pathetic blush >>

AmandaCooper Wed 06-Nov-13 07:58:55

He's really just an ordinary bloke OP, just talk about whatever you normally would. If someone started chatting to me about Lord Denning apropos of nothing on a first date I'd think they were crackers!

Pagwatch Wed 06-Nov-13 08:10:46

I used to work with solicitors. I am in my 50s.
Are solicitors in their 50s a weird group then because all the ones I know are pretty ordinary.

Could you see it as an opppertunity to figure out if you like him rather some kind of test for you?
If he is someone who thinks solicitors are exceptional and you don't match up then he is a wanker. Best to find out now surely?

EllenNotHelen Wed 06-Nov-13 15:17:15

Thank you for your ideas, folks smile

limitedperiodonly Wed 06-Nov-13 15:26:46

Where is Xenia when you need her?

Bonsoir Wed 06-Nov-13 15:29:55

Be prepared to be the one injecting energy and fun into the conversation. Solicitors are rarely the life and soul of the party.

2tiredtoScare Wed 06-Nov-13 15:32:07

Prosecution or defence?

DullDebbie Wed 06-Nov-13 16:00:53

Ask him he he's on the 'Solicitors From Hell' website.

KellyElly Wed 06-Nov-13 16:08:16

He's a solicitor, not an astrophysicist! Just talk about normal things like you would with anyone.

SlatternismyMiddlename Wed 06-Nov-13 16:17:29

As a solicitor I can honestly say you don't need to have any special topics of conversation. Treat it as you would any first date and good luck.

ephemeralfairy Wed 06-Nov-13 16:18:07

I went on a few dates with a solicitor and he admitted when a bit tipsy on date 4 that he found me utterly terrifying because I talked about art and books, and he had no knowledge of either.

So yes, don't be fooled into thinking that he must be some sort of intellectual heavyweight just because of his job. My best friend is a solicitor but revealed last week that she didn't know what year the Second World War started or who wrote Great Expectations....

notagiraffe Wed 06-Nov-13 16:22:26

I'd definitely steer clear of faking a keen interest in the law or current affairs if they aren't your usual thing.

I'd go for interests - what you love doing, find out what he loves doing. Don't be afraid of having an opinion and being very different from him.

Have fun.

YoureMyZombieWifeNowDave Wed 06-Nov-13 16:31:25

I've nothing really to add apart from like KerwhizzedMyself your username really made me smile and left me wondering if I knew her when I was young

BinksToEnlightenment Wed 06-Nov-13 16:38:22

Talk to him about your job

cheeseandpineapple Wed 06-Nov-13 16:38:36

Bonsoir Bonsoir, as a former solicitor, married to a solicitor and knowing loads of solicitors/lawyers, let me tell you that we can be as much the life and soul of parties as anyone else goddamit!

OP, I'm nosey and can't help asking all kinds of questions about people's jobs when I first meet them including other lawyers so I'd be wanting to know what kind of law he practises, does he work on his own or in a firm etc Not saying you spend the whole night talking about work but if you don't ask about each other's work (or equivalent), it seems a bit unnatural not to talk a little about a big chunk of your life.

Taste in TV shows, films etc will start to give you an idea if someone's on your wavelength, if they like the same comedy shows as you, that's a good starting point. Hope it goes well!

hanette Wed 06-Nov-13 16:43:41

Why not ask him what job he'd like to have done if he wasn't a solicitor?

When is the date?

Walkacrossthesand Wed 06-Nov-13 16:48:02

I'm just envy that you got a date with a professional bloke in his fifties - I'm that age and hung around on dating sites for months without a flicker of interest. Have a good time!

VoiceofRaisin Wed 06-Nov-13 16:52:05

Talk about anything that interests YOU. It's pointless attempting discourse on topics that you have dreamt up to fit in with your imagined idea of what he would like. Isn't the point of a date to see if you both get on, with you being you, and him being him? I bet you are lovely so just relax. He needs to make an effort to get to know you if he is worth his salt.

What are your hobbies and interests, or what has caught your interest in the news lately, or on TV, or in a book? Talk about those, and ask him about his.

Enjoy! PS I know LOADS of solicitors in their 50's and every one of them is different in his/her character and interests.

IHadADreamThatWasNotAllADream Wed 06-Nov-13 16:53:32

Ask him how gobsmacked he was by Bowie's stealth release of an unheralded album, whether he got to see the V&A exhibition, and how traumatised he was by the death of Lou Reed. If he responds with confused face then ditch him.

OK I grant you that those particular topics of conversation may be more relevant to you than me, but I trust you get my point.

eurochick Wed 06-Nov-13 16:57:09

I'm a lawyer (although rather younger than 50) and whilst I am quite happy to talk to people generally about what I do (it's an area of law that sounds quite glamorous but really isn't), I wouldn't want to chat about Lord Denning/Leveson/the state of the current batch of trainees on a date.

IHadADreamThatWasNotAllADream Wed 06-Nov-13 17:05:13

Oops...."more relevant to me than you" obvs.

ScarerStratton Wed 06-Nov-13 17:08:37

I hope it's not the one from Yorkshire I met, seemed perfect, until I discovered he left his wife because she had MS sad

bigTillyMint Wed 06-Nov-13 17:08:40

Just chat - if you don't hit it off with a normal conversation then there's not really any second-date potential.

The nearly-50 solicitors/lawyers that I know chat shit like the rest of ussmile

ChristmasCareeristBitchNigel Wed 06-Nov-13 17:11:06

Just be natural. People that work in law related fields tend to talk enough "shop" at work and it's really nice to spend time with people that have no knowledge or interest so you are forced to talk about something else. Otherwise you just talk about work all the time. However much i love to discuss the fine details of criminal justice (and believe me i do) it' so refreshing when i get together with non police friends and know im not going to spend the evening moaning about the latest annexe to Pace

MintyChops Wed 06-Nov-13 18:20:08

My DH is a solicitor and we definitely didn't talk about his job much on our first dates. Just treat him like a normal person, talk about what you are interested in and try to find out what he likes; hope it goes well....

greenfolder Wed 06-Nov-13 19:23:11

Places you've visited, hope to go. Books and music you like. Stuff really!

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