FIL doesn't like me, it started when ds was born and me and MIL had disagreements about aspects of my parenting style everything MIL was very offended that we didn't take her advice. My parenting style is very different to hers, she has 10 grown up grandchildren by her daughters and they all seem to have parented the same and asked MIL for lots of advice.
The advice included things like don't let him stand (with support) as it would give him bowed legs. Don't use cloth nappies his bum will rot away because he has red hair. Support his head/neck at 4 months (he could hold his head up from birth and sat unaided at 4.5 months, there was no need to support his head.) Baby led weaning is my attempt to kill her precious grandson, he shouldn't be allowed to eat solids until he is 2. If I don't give him a dummy he will become obese and never learn to walk. Me drinking a small glass of wine and then breastfeeding is utterly disgusting but her smoking around ds is fine. She wanted to sleep with ds in her bed when he was 6 weeks old. Him catching rs visrus and being in hospital for a week when he was a month old was my fault because I took him on the bus.
Sorry for the slight rant there.
Me and DP decided we would just ignore MIL's advice as if we disagreed or tried to explain why we did things the way we do she would get very angry.
MIL became very angry and upset that we ignored her advice. DP told her gently that we would prefere it is she didn't give advice if she was going to become upset if we didn't take her advice. I am the one in the wrong even though it is both me and DP who make the decisions together because her daughters listened to her advice and if I wasn't around there would be no ds to argue about she could tell DP exactly how to bring up DS.
Things are fine between me and MIL now, she doesn't give us unsolicited advice, we make sure to ask her advice when we know she will have sensible ideas (like asking her what sort of shoes ds should have in the winter.) MIL wants a relationship with DS and I want DS to have a relationship with her, we are wise enough to realise that we need to be friendly to each other for his sake.
FIL is still very angry with me for upsetting his wife. He tells me off if I touch DS when he is sleeping (to check he isn't too hot/cold) he isn't friendly, he picks on everything I say and replies negatively. FIL has told DP that he must do something about me because I am upsetting MIL.
The really stupid thing is that 8 years ago FIL was convicted of rape and sent to prison for 3 years. He was convicted of having consential sex with an 18 year old but he was her teacher so it was classed as rape (we are not in the UK I don't know how the laws compare) FIL admits to kissing the girl but denies having sex with her. MIL was obviously deverstated. The entire family just ignore what has happened and FIL has been compleatly forgiven for taking advantage of his position of trust/reponsibility and also being unfaithful to MIL.
I feel like if everyone has forgotten his hugely bad act then he should be able to get over his bad feelings for me.
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AIBU?
To think that FIL should be able to get over the issues he has with me?
24 replies
misspontypine · 03/11/2013 18:57
OP posts:
LunaticFringe ·
03/11/2013 19:16
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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