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Who WBU? Mortifying train incident.

(421 Posts)
MikeReepySpooksard Sun 03-Nov-13 17:18:42

Ds, 15 months, has an unfortunate hair pulling habit. Today on the train he got hold of the hair of the teenage girl sitting in the seat behind his and yanked it. She screamed 'get the fuck off me' and glared at him. She kept turning round and glaring at him the rest of the journey.

2tiredtoScare Mon 04-Nov-13 20:46:16

That is scary Sarah there was a famous case of a man that took cuttings from women's hair on the bus etc who went on to murder a woman he didn't know and put all the hair he'd collected in her hands. It was on crime watch and they caught the evil bastard though

fluffyraggies Mon 04-Nov-13 19:56:23

I recon the baby had been a pain in the arse for a while, standing up on the seat behind the teenager over a long journey.

Not everyone is blessed with alot of patience and a mild temper. When the final hair pull happened she may have just lost her temper. It's not her job to be patient with the child - it was the child's fathers job to patiently look after his kid, ie: get him sat down and occupied, not stood up on the seat being a pain to the general public.

pippitysqueakity Mon 04-Nov-13 19:52:14

Nah, OP ain't coming back, is she?

LaGuardia Mon 04-Nov-13 19:45:46

She may have just spent a fortune on hair extensions. YABU. Keep the kid under control in public places and you won't get shouted at.

SarahAndFuck Mon 04-Nov-13 19:45:39

I am, thank you, it was a few months ago now, but at the time it was a bit unnerving.

Nothing ever came of it, I haven't heard from the police since it happened, but I avoid those lifts now.

gobbynorthernbird Mon 04-Nov-13 19:28:13

That is awful, Sarah. Hope you're ok x

That sounds horrible, Sarah - I hope you are OK.

SarahAndFuck Mon 04-Nov-13 19:00:45

I've posted about this before but earlier this year I thought I felt someone gently tug on my hair from behind.

I was in a lift with a few other people at the time. When I turned around none of them seemed to be looking at me or paying me any attention at all.

The next day I realised that someone had actually cut off part of my hair and after posting about it on here I was convinced enough to mention it to the community police. They viewed the CCTV and could see a man reaching up behind me and me turning to look at him, although they couldn't get a clear look at him or what he had in his hand to cut my hair with.

I wish I'd shouted out the way this girl did and drawn attention to the man behind me. I am assuming she shouted immediately in shock or pain before she turned and realised it was a toddler pulling her hair. It would help if the OP/her DH could clarify though as it seems to be the sticking point of the thread.

I didn't shout because it was just a gentle tug at my hair, and once I'd looked around I thought I'd probably just caught it on my coat hood button or something. I wish I'd listened to my first instincts of thinking my hair had been pulled.

It upset me a lot when I realised what had happened, especially when I realised that people who cut women's hair usually escalate their behaviour to worse attacks on women.

I know that's not what was happening on your train, but in the first instance of the girl feeling someone yank her hair, and your description of it makes it sound like it would have been fast and painful, I can understand why she was alarmed and possibly frightened for those few seconds where she shouted and before she turned around to see who had grabbed her. She probably didn't know who had grabbed her or why when she shouted out.

It's obviously not your baby's fault. He's only 15 months old and as long as you are telling him 'no, that hurts' and stopping him when he pulls someone's hair he will soon learn not to do it.

Your DH was the unreasonable one. He knows your son has this habit, he was in charge at the time and he was aware the seats were back to back so your standing up DS was within easy reach of the girl behind him.

The young was probably startled and hurt, cried out in shock, realised she had shouted at a baby, received no apology from your DH and feeling embarrassed that she had shouted out on a busy train and had had everyone look at her.

Your DH could and should have apologised to her at the time regardless of what he thought she might say in reply.

baldisbeautiful Mon 04-Nov-13 18:18:04

I have alopecia. If your ds had pulled my "hair" I would have been mortified as it would have probably ended up on your lap!!

PerpendicularVincentPrice Mon 04-Nov-13 17:59:29

2tired I have plenty for him to choose from, and I promise not to swear either grin

Harold, nothing is bigger than the JR conundrum wink

HaroldLloyd Mon 04-Nov-13 17:47:27

It's bigger than who shot JR?

2tiredtoScare Mon 04-Nov-13 17:47:07

The rogue toddler could pull a few greys out for you grin

PerpendicularVincentPrice Mon 04-Nov-13 17:45:50

This thread will still be running when i"m old, grey and have lost my youthful bloom.

And it won't have moved on from the 'did the girl know the toddler did it?' question either.

<bangs head against wall>

fivefourthreetwoone Mon 04-Nov-13 17:41:53

What we need to do us find out the route, write to the train company and demand a CCTV tape.

Yeah the OP really needs to come back with the evidence in hand.

Is it sad that I'm now giggling to myself over the thought that the op's dh has been the one pulling people's hair all along and has been blaming the toddler?

Probably is, but I really don't care.

fivefourthreetwoone Mon 04-Nov-13 17:39:03

This thread title is also misleading - I highly doubt it was a 'mortifying' train incident considering the OP wasn't there when it happened and didn't notice anything going on afterwards.

YABU because of that fact alone.

HaroldLloyd Mon 04-Nov-13 17:38:41

What we need to do us find out the route, write to the train company and demand a CCTV tape.

Then I bet we could argue the toss over that for at least 500 posts grin

fivefourthreetwoone Mon 04-Nov-13 17:37:05


fivefourthreetwoone Mon 04-Nov-13 17:36:37

Just a thought, buy maybe it actually was the dh who was doing the hair pulling. Maybe he has a secret hair pulling fetish that the OP doesn't know about.

Shame on him for trying to blame the poor baby!


HaroldLloyd Mon 04-Nov-13 17:30:35

Not really. I think it would have been obvious it was a toddler but am open to the possibility it was ambiguous, hence the swearing.

2tiredtoScare Mon 04-Nov-13 17:29:20

Im still shocked by the poster who called it assault

HowlingTrap Mon 04-Nov-13 17:28:48

why not? the initial reaction understandable, the after bit not so much.

Madamecastafiore Mon 04-Nov-13 17:27:47

Please stop using the word 'mental' to describe behaviour like this young lady exhibited.

HowlingTrap Mon 04-Nov-13 17:25:18

This, with the added comment that a teenage girl would not have the grace and ability

only very socially inept ones, I get the initial swear/scream etc but the repeated glaring is worrying.

HowlingTrap Mon 04-Nov-13 17:23:24

I think people are forgetting if the toddlers anything like my youngests is 'a diver' and reactions aren't always fast enough.
But I would have apologized profusely, although she does actually sound mental , and no....most 15 year olds wouldn't react like.
I would have been forced to say something on the repeated turning around and glaring, eliciting a hostile response to a toddler for a long period of time sounds like she's maybe a bit unhinged anyway.

judgejudithjudy Mon 04-Nov-13 17:18:36

yabu & a knob!

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