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please tell me if IABU because I'm so pissed off right now.

(29 Posts)
walterwhitebadass Sun 03-Nov-13 16:06:25

so might not be thinking very reasonably.

Last year I worked away abroad for around half a year, when I got home my closest friends organised a welcome home dinner which was lovely of them. My best friend didn't even come.

We have another friend who works away for half the year and is home the rest of the year and she has been doing this for around 5 years now. She is due to come back very soon and my best friend is organising a welcome home party for her at her house.

My friend never has parties at her house (very clean person who just hates the idea of people not using a coaster - just very house proud)

I just feel quite down .... that she can do this for one friend and not me. Maybe I wouldn't feel so down if she'd come to the meal but then again she didn't even organise it.

Aibu and a bit of a spoilt brat?

womblesofwestminster Mon 04-Nov-13 20:24:43

OP, how old are you?

ExcuseTypos Sun 03-Nov-13 18:26:45

If she hadnt had the family issues, would she have come to your party. If the answer is yes, then I think you're over thinking things.

Just be happy and offer to help with the party. smile

Loopytiles Sun 03-Nov-13 18:23:34


ChippingInLovesAGoodBang Sun 03-Nov-13 18:19:39

How old are you?

maddy68 Sun 03-Nov-13 18:13:50

I really don't understand why you are upset? She didn't come to yours because with the greatest respect yours was just a meal, she put her family first (as any normal person would). Now she is hosting a meal for someone else? So what?

You do sound really needy

Ecuador Sun 03-Nov-13 17:59:23

I feel for you OP and would be upset too.

Tee2072 Sun 03-Nov-13 17:57:01

Hardly sounds like a "best friend" to me.

FortyDoorsToNowhere Sun 03-Nov-13 17:02:55

Yabu, she had a family crisis.

Watching a sibling throw her life away is more important that a meal out.

ZombieMojaveWonderer Sun 03-Nov-13 16:58:17

Regarding the family stuff which was your friends excuse - It may not be a big deal to you op but it obviously meant something to your friend and if you can't see that then you are not much of a friend are you.
I'm sorry but I think YABU and a bit precious.

Trills Sun 03-Nov-13 16:53:18

YABU to think that you can judge whether other peoples' family issues are "important enough" to miss a party.

gobbynorthernbird Sun 03-Nov-13 16:51:18

Erm, a DC not going to college would, in our house, be a massive big deal. And much more so if the behaviour were down to bullying/drug taking or any of the things that can be behind something like that.

HaroldLloyd Sun 03-Nov-13 16:48:27

Your being a bit precious in my opinion.

Frostedloop Sun 03-Nov-13 16:44:49

Best friend, closest friend. Do you play littlest pet shop?

Grow up, yabu.

walterwhitebadass Sun 03-Nov-13 16:44:26

It was hardly a crisis, a sibling was being rude to the parents and not wanting to go to college.

AngelsLieToKeepControl Sun 03-Nov-13 16:42:40

She isn't your best friend at all, if she was you would have some empathy and understanding for her family situation and realised that comes before your welcome home meal. She sees you every week now so one meal wasn't that important really.

Rosencrantz Sun 03-Nov-13 16:39:57

Yabu. Family comes first sometimes. Get over yourself.

MammaTJ Sun 03-Nov-13 16:38:47

She was busy dealing with a family crisis and you still expected her to at least let you know?

In the nicest possible way-get a grip!

Poppylovescheese Sun 03-Nov-13 16:34:43

YABU and to be honest sound very needy. Sometimes life throws things at us that are more important than a party.

KungFuBustle Sun 03-Nov-13 16:33:53

I'd forgive someone for missing a party for a family crisis. Ettiquette tends to go out the window in tough times hence no reason given.

gobbynorthernbird Sun 03-Nov-13 16:30:30

So she had a family crisis? What a cow.

walterwhitebadass Sun 03-Nov-13 16:18:52

It was an issue with one of her siblings who had been acting out at home. Can't go into too much detail, it was an on going thing.

She didn't even tell me herself that she wasnt coming, maybe that was why I was more upset.

harticus Sun 03-Nov-13 16:16:26

Why didn't your "best friend" come to your welcome home dinner?

walterwhitebadass Sun 03-Nov-13 16:15:50

Do you think that she is your best friend but you are not hers (a little harsh I know)

I don't think so, although I can't be 100% certain.

We're very close as in I go over to her house at least once a week and she'll always text to ask how I am etc.

NynaevesSister Sun 03-Nov-13 16:15:26

Why didn't she go to your dinner? What is her relationship to this other person? Aren't you relived she didn't have a party for you though - I'm envisaging Monica-style party with rules ...

MoveYourArmsLikeHenry Sun 03-Nov-13 16:14:51

Depends on her reason for not going to yours.

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